Congrats to Alan Parsons at the ACM Awards

Plagiarism, it's a nasty word for a nasty theft. Lady Antebellum has made a mint off of this ditty. Good for them. Is the Alan Parson's Project getting any love? Only from people who know where it came from first. Love the song or hate the song, these melodies are way too close to be a coincidence. Vanilla Ice thinks it's too close to be a coincidence.

On another note, I finally heard the whole song all the way though the other night. It's about a couple trying to hook up on a late night booty call. Ah yes, drunken emotionless sex, now that's record of the year material.

Paul reviews "Paul"

The UK Release Poster

Marie and I say "Paul" last night at the local cineplex and absolutely loved it. She could not stop laughing and neither could I. The movie contained some of the best sight gags I've ever seen. But honestly, there are some things about the movie you might not like.

1. If you don't like gay innuendo jokes, steer away.
2. If you don't like or get nerd humor, steer away.
3. If you are a fundamentalist Christian and really hate it when people make fun of you and your faith, don't even steer into the parking lot.

Honestly, this is going to be the focus of my review because it's a review of me. I really hated the way the writers, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost who also starred in the movie, dealt with fundamental Christians as people who are ignorant and simple. They treated the fundamentalist characters as less than human because they eschewed sophistication for faith in something greater who is the Creator (as they see the creator of course).

Frankly, I wasn't fond of this portrayal because I share enough of these prejudices that it makes me uncomfortable.

Now the movie was hilarious, I laughed out loud several times.  It's a great "fish out of water" movie.  It's a great "sure, we're nerds, but we are who we are" movie.  It's a great road trip movie.  It's a great buddy movie.  The love story, not so much but oh well, love stories in comedies that aren't romantic comedies always fall short. (So do the recent crop of romantic comedies, but that's another matter.) There's a sight gag at the end of the movie that's worth the price of admission.

But I can't get past the whole fundamentalist thing.  If you think you're smarter than a fundamentalist Christian and you think that makes you better than any fundamentalist Christian, well, then this won't bother you.  Honestly, I have to admit as I point this finger out, three others point back at me, and I'm paying attention.

I say let it bother you.  Reflect on what this type of joke says about us and how we look at humor.  We don't laugh at black-face any more.  We don't laugh at stoner humor (much) any more. Why do we make fun of people like that and when can we stop.

I recommend this movie, and so does Marie.  Just keep in mind, gay nerd fundamentalist Christians will want to spend money on another movie.

Thanks to the Dollar General Store in Marshall, Texas

Today the church received a donation from the Dollar General Store on HWY 80 West in Marshall, Texas.  We received gift cards, bags, and candy which will go to people in the hospital and nursing homes.  We will also be able to use the gift to provide pastoral care not only to members but others who need uplifting.

We're not ending world hunger, we're not reaching world peace, but we're reaching out to people in Marshall and if we don't start there we won't ever be ready for the rest of the world.

Thanks again to Amy and all at Dollar General!  Thank you and thanks be to God!

A St. Patrick's Day Tale

Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!


This tale, written by Philip Chevron (acoustic guitar and background vocals on the video) is about the immigrant's tale. It's bittersweet and nostalgic, it's mournful and hopeful. It's what I expect from The Pogues. To tonight, as you heft a pint of the Stout (NOT a Black-and-Tan unless you're itchin' for a row) remember those who have come seeking better life.

Rest in Peace, Miss Lucille

I heard today of the death of a parishioner from my prior posting in Berryville, Arkansas.  She died with family around her moving painlessly from this life to the next.  She was a lovely lady who lived to an advanced age and she taught me a thing or two about being a pastor, lessons I learned the hard way.

The first thing I learned from her is I have to be imaginative and think fast.  Presbyterian Kosher and Presbyterian Acceptable are two different things.

She was a life long Lutheran and wanted to die a Lutheran and wanted to also become a member of the First Presbyterian Church in Berryville. When I was asked how we could do this, I immediately went to my Book of Order training and took the most direct route saying she needed a letter of transfer from her prior church to this one.

Well, that wouldn't do for Miss Lucille.  She couldn't give up her Lutheran identity. Someone else then asked me, "Couldn't she just do a Reaffirmation of Faith?"  Immediately it dawned on me that of curse we could, nothing said we couldn't!  So I affirmed we could do that, but the damage was done.  Miss Lucille did not become a member and soon quit attending.

But there was another lesson I learned, you gotta be ready when someone tells the truth.

She said the biggest barrier in joining, or even worshiping with that part part of the Body of Christ is my obesity.  She said my fat got in the way of the word of God.  She also asked me to pray that she would be able to get beyond it.

Now, know this, I'm fat--really fat.  I call my blog "There's a Fat Man in the Bathtub with the Blues" because I love the song, but also because there are times when it's pretty darn descriptive.  Please also know that it hurts when people say, "Dude, you're fat."  Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names gnaw at your psyche for years and years.  But know this too; she didn't hedge her words, she came right out and said them--and that's better than trying to mold words into a pleasant package.

She didn't candy coat her words and she owned them. She also noted that she didn't think it was good, she knew it wrong to focus on one over the other.  But I wonder how many of the churches I met with in person before receiving the call to First Presbyterian Church in Marshall, Texas said "Dang he's fat" without even considering "Dang, could he be our pastor?"

(Oh, I'm glad the one that absolutely did is here in Marshall, Texas!  Thanks be to God!!  Can I get an amen!!!)

Some pastors in my former Presbytery hedged around the prospect of my obesity being a stumbling block toward me receiving a new call and chalked it up to a problem, my problem.  One even said I may never get another call.  Of those who focused on the fat, only Lucille saw the issue as more than my girth.  Only Lucille owned up to the prejudice being her sin.  Only Lucille asked me to pray with her about it. Only Lucille sought restoration through Christ for her judgement of my appearance.

I can't say it wasn't difficult, and I can't say it didn't hurt, but I can say she taught me something hard, important, and positive.  I can't say so much about the others.

Lucille, you taught me.  You taught me to be creative and seek redemption.  You taught me to think outside of the box and think first of Christ.  Lucille, thank you, God bless, and be at peace in the church triumphant.

The Official Ladder of NCAA Basketball

Today I learned that Werner Ladders is the official ladder of NCAA Basketball.  Werner even makes a nine foot tall model exclusively for NCAA Basketball.  Yes, the official height of a basketball rim is ten feet so a nine foot ladder is perfect.

I don't know what makes me shake my head harder, that the NCAA would sell the rights to be the official provider of ladders, that someone would want to be the official provider of ladders, or that this partnership has been going on since at least 2008.  It's a push.

Welcome to America where we'll sell just about anything.

How the NCAA Should Punish Cheaters

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a fan of the Arkansas Razorbacks.  I worked at the UofA in Fayetteville for several years around 2000 and that pig helped my family buy our first house, so I am a fan.  Also, I have to say that if the recent allegations against the Razorback Basketball program have merit, this or similar punishment also apply. Fair is fair.

Finally, I believe the Hogs beat themselves in the 2011 Sugar Bowl.  Mistakes plagued the team more than the Buckeyes.  Still, that doesn't change the score, Ohio State Beat the University of Arkansas and that's what will be remembered.

So, now that that's out of the way...

Jim Tressel, coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes, reported a violation of NCAA rules before the 2011 Sugar Bowl against the Arkansas Razorbacks.  The University and the NCAA came to an accommodation that allowed all of the players found in violation of NCAA rules to play in the Sugar Bowl in exchange for the suspension of the players for the first five games of the 2011 season.

As a Hog fan, I didn't like it, suspend the cheaters now, not later.  But alas, the deal was done.  There was talk of the deal being done in a "Don Corleone" way, I do this for you, you do this for me.  Was there fire?  I don't know, but I smelled smoke.

But according to reports, Ohio State Coach Jim Tressel knew more than he confessed. He got a deal, but "The Don" would never have taken the deal if there was more than was reported.  You never lie because the cover up will always be worse than the original crime.

Ohio State has suspended Coach Tressel for two games (against Toledo and Akron, please, my grandmother could coach Ohio State past Toledo and Akron and she's been dead fifteen years!) and fined him $250,000 (no matter how impressive that sounds, compared to what he has made as the head football coach of Ohio State it's not going to sting).

So, how should these cheaters be punished?

Vacate victories? Cut scholarships?

No and no.  Nobody would ever remember the vacated victories.  We remember games played, not games vacated, except for Bobby Bowden, and that's a horse of a different color.  As for vacating scholarships, there is not reason to punish a third string lineman for something a star does; and it's never going to be a star who will lose a scholarship.  Vacating scholarships hurts the wrong people.

So who should be hurt? How should they be hurt?

Here's my idea:  Force Ohio State to return its Sugar Bowl payout.  That's right, force Ohio State to return their $8.5 MILLION payout for playing the game.  That may get somebody ready to enforce the rules.  Tressel said he didn't know the rule so the players wouldn't have known either.  For $8.5 MILLION, I imagine the coach would make time for the school's enforcement coordinator, and believe me, they like all major programs have enforcement people.Further, any money that went to the Big Ten Conference from the Sugar Bowl should also be returned.

This way, nobody looks the other way.  When you begin to lose money for your school and the conference, people will stop looking the other way.

Also, while $8.5 MILLION isn't huge when compared to the expenditures of higher education and athletic departments, believe me, that'll leave a mark.  It's also 34 TIMES greater than Tressel will be fined.  We're leaving the ranks of chump change.

The greatest value of the NCAA is that they can negotiate better deals for schools, schools who follow the rules.  Violate the rules, hurt the team.  Violate the rules, hurt the conference.  Take the money from the cheaters, everything else is window dressing.