Men (and Women) in Albs

Reformation Day has passed, but before it did, I remembered this bit from the movie Men in Black when Tommy Lee Jones as K is talking to Will Smith as James Edwards before he became J:

Edwards: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.

Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

So how does this apply to Reformation Day? Imagine if you will, as I did, a conversation between Martin Luther as he is putting his Ninety-Nine Theses on the door of the Wittenberg Church door and a fellow cleric...

Cleric: Whatcha doing Martin?

Luther: I've got some problems with our theology, some big problems. You know that. And it's high time everybody knows, not just the bishops.

Cleric: What do you mean Bishops, you're the Father of Lutheranism, you're not Roman Catholic! Your reformation started the whole Lutheran Church thing!

Luther: Stupid! Don't you know anything about church history! I'm Roman Catholic and so are you! So is most of Europe in 1517! Dumbkopf!

Cleric: So what is this about?

Luther: The Church needs to be reformed if...

Cleric: There's that word!

Luther: Yes, and do you know what it means? Reform, change, big change, very big change, maybe even change in italics! It doesn't mean schism, it means change. What comes of it after my death, well, we'll see where it goes from there, but what I want is for the Church Universal to change.

Cleric: What do you mean by Church Universal?

Luther: That's all catholic with a lower case c means, universal. When you read it in the creeds it doesn't mean Roman Catholic or even the Eastern Orthodox, it means the universal church. Do I have to explain everything to you?

Cleric: Looks that way...

Luther: What's causing you problems here?

Cleric: Well, here it says you want us to stop selling plenary indulgences. Why would we ever do that?

Luther: Insert eye roll here! With these indulgences we sell, with cash money we sell the holiness of good people to bad people so that they can get into heaven, right.

Cleric: Sure, that's the only way my Uncle Stugotz will even sniff heaven!

Luther: That's what I mean! You can't sell holiness! Where is that even found in scripture?

Cleric: Er, in the book of...

Luther: Yeah, don't bother. It's not found in scripture. We soil ourselves to believe this is even possible and for what, a few coins in the treasury?

Cleric: Hey, don't knock it. Giving is down. We gotta do something to put butts in the pews. We gotta get giving up Martin. The Sistine Chapel Ceiling didn't paint itself. Pope needs cash to do the work of the church.

Luther: How is another fresco going to serve the poor and the widowed and the travelers and the...

Cleric: Well Pope Trump is going to build a wall across the Rubicon so...

Luther: There is so much wrong with that statement I'm not even going to try to correct you. The point is the work of the church is not nice things. The work of the church is outside the walls, not inside the walls.

Cleric: So why put this stuff up on the door? You want the biships and doctors of the church to discuss this stuff right?

Luther: Surely yes I do. But I've been neglected in small groups. Maybe posting this on All Saints Day when we all come to Wittenberg will cause us to act.

Cleric: If you mean your trial, excommunication, and death sentence, then yes, your call to action will be met.

Luther: Yes, I suspect you're right. And do you know why, because a person is smart. We're having a decent conversation, except for your lapses in church history and that "Pope Trump" crack. A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, superstitious animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody thought Jesus was a poser and a Jewish heretic. Five hundred years ago the bow was the latest in war technology, and fifteen minutes ago, you thought money could take holiness from the treasury of merit to help your Uncle Stugotz. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

Well, that isn't what happened, but as Kurt Vonnegut once said during a Palm Sunday sermon, you can always count on a crowd to look at the wrong end of a miracle. A person is smart. Two people can have a conversation, we can have coffee and a streusel. We can discuss and if we can keep a calm head we can discuss the matters of the day.

If our day and time has shown us one thing for sure, if it's the church or politics, and let us remember a secular government is an American invention, people are dumb, panicky, superstitious animals. And you know it.