My January 2011 Newsletter Article

Don't forget to pick up your newsletter from the table in the Narthex on Sunday, either before or after worship.

Dear Friends in Christ,

Whenever a congregation calls a new pastor, people wonder… “What’s the pastor going to change?” For some, this causes a lot of stress and uncertainty. So to take the edge off, here are some answers.

The first change Georgia, Al, Brionna and I have made is that I have begun to process with the Acolyte. With that, Al has begun making the announcements before the procession.

Also, we have started singing more verses from the hymns. Not more hymns, just more verses.

Next, during Advent, the baby Jesus was missing from the manger scene. Why? He doesn’t show up until Christmas Eve, so he didn’t show up until December 24. In the same way, the three wise men don’t make an appearance until Epiphany, so they’re making their way through the church and now the sanctuary until that glorious day in early January.

As for a bigger change, in the coming year we will celebrate the Lord’s Supper more often than in prior years. In the past, we have celebrated this sacrament six times per year. In 2011, we will celebrate it eighteen times! This is three times as often as in the past.

Starting in 2011 we will celebrate the Lord’s Supper on the first Sunday of every month except in January and August. In January, we will celebrate the Lord’s Supper on the 9^th, which is also Baptism of the Lord Sunday. In August, we will celebrate the Lord’s Supper on the third Sunday as the Fellowship Communion just like last year. We will also celebrate the Lord’s Supper on every Sunday from Easter through Pentecost, the seasons of the dying and rising of our Savior and the Birth of the Church.

Why celebrate the Lord’s Supper more often? The sacraments are important; they are the visible signs of God’s invisible grace. As we celebrate them, we remember them and the impact they have in our lives. They are signs of God’s covenant relationship with the people of God, with us. The Lord’s Supper is specifically the food that nourishes and sustains us in our lives as Christ’s disciples. We believe it builds the body of Christ, and to lift an old advertising slogan, the Elements of the Communion, they do the Body good.

There are some other exciting and glorious things happening too. In the coming weeks we will have at least two families join the church. Baptisms, both infant and adult, will be coming in the late spring too.

Just as important of a question is “What isn’t changing?” This has a very simple and even more important answer. First Presbyterian Church in Marshall, Texas is still a place where Christ is proclaimed. Who we are and what we do are wrapped around the simple truth that Jesus of Nazareth is the Christ, the fully human and fully divine God Incarnate. He shared life on earth and came to know all that we know from birth to death; including birth and death. He rose from the dead and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty. He sent his Spirit to indwell us and strengthen us for this life that we might live worthy of our faith in God, and even more, God’s faith in us. This isn’t changing. This will never change.

Let us worship God together.

See you at church, Paul

Alcopop

Isn't that a great word, Alcopop! Alcopops are a variety of alcoholic beverage that comes premixed with a variety of other ingredients to enhance taste or whatever.

Some beverages in this category include the Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, and the recently notorious Four Loco Energy Drink.

My favorite in this category is Sparks. On the label, it plainly tells all who will imbibe in this fine beverage that it contains Yellow Number Five.

Thank God, that old Yellow #4 is just vile.

Stupid Warning Labels

Last week I went to our local Long John Silver's restaurant. (So when did the filets become as flat as a pancake? Anyway...) By the cash register there was a warning sign:

Shellfish Warning

Your food is prepared either with or in proximity to shellfish.

People with shellfish allergies should be aware and take necessary precautions.

If you have a shellfish allergy I would think the first precaution would be not to eat in a place that specialized in shellfish! Even if it is fast food shellfish!

Yesterday I ranted against Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell for his take on postponing the Eagles/Vikings game. His take that we are becoming a nation of wusses hinges on the fact that in the olde days "we wouldn't have done it that way." I took the point that if he wants to call the Philadelphia Eagles a bunch of wusses he should get out of his limo, walk past his protection detail, and say it to their faces.

What I say about "Stupid Warning Labels" is be aware of your surroundings and if you have an allergy to seafood stay out of the seafood restaurant.

One is a matter of public safety and the other a matter of personal responsibility. And it's still a stupid warning label.

Wuss!

Pennsylvania Governor Ed Wendell has declared us a nation of "Wusses" because the NFL didn't play a game in a blizzard. Well, here's what I have to say about that.

First, if you want to get style points on FoxNews by name calling then pick another city. Philly fans once booed Santa Claus for getting hurt in a parachute stunt. Then Philly fans once booed a guy who fell from the upper deck because he didn't get hurt. Wusses?

Second, if you're paying the contracts of the guys who could get hurt in all of this you might be happy the league (not the team or the city but the league) called off the game.

Third, if you are injured and emergency vehicles are focusing on maintaining Lincoln Financial Field instead of your street you might be glad the game was called.

Forth, if you're a beer vendor you're probably glad you didn't have to navigate snowy steps carrying case after case of bottles for two hours.

Finally Mr. Governor, get out of your limo, ditch your security detail, and tell the good people of the city you once served as mayor that they've become wussified. I'll watch that on pay-per-view.

On another weather related wuss note, an ESPN Radio talking head this morning said that "This wouldn't have happened in Colorado where he lived." He didn't mention that snow doesn't stay on the ground in eastern Colorado. Denver, the front range, the high plains, they can all get snow, but then the winds blow and it's all gone in a day or two. Don't play the "Winter in Denver" card until you compare it to a Philly blizzard.

As for me, I grew up in Kansas City where when winter locked in it locked in. Winds from Alberta made the air temps zero and the wind chills horrible. When it snowed, it stayed on the ground for a couple of months. Oh, that was after the glaze of ice that fell first.

Then I moved to the high plains. Yes it's cold, and yes it's windy (dear GOD is it windy), but while I remember Trick or Treating being snowed out on Halloween three months later I was on the golf course on Ground Hog Day. Wuss this five iron.

Superstition

"When you believe in things you don't understand and you suffer, then you suffer; Superstition ain't the way." --Stevie Wonder

I hate behaving in superstitious ways. It doesn't prevent me from acting in superstitious ways, but I still hate it.

About ten years ago, after we moved to Austin, Marie wasn't feeling well. This was nothing new for either of us, she hadn't been well since we moved to Austin. The Dean of Students at the seminary asked how we were doing and how specifically Marie was feeling. Now, I knew she wasn't faking it, but I wondered out loud if "she could find a job and hit a tempo and find a rhythm that she might not feel better." Just thinking out loud. I knew she wasn't faking, but I just hoped if she found something to keep her busy she might feel better.

This is where the organ player starts playing in a minor key.

Well, I said something stupid and she got really sick. In a couple of weeks she had a bowel resection. I was hoping "she would find a rhythm" and she was fighting off a ton of infection and whatever else was causing her abdominal problems. (They still aren't really sure either.)

So Marie hasn't been feeling well lately. I know about the Crohn's disease and the host of other issues she has. I also know better than to say something stupid like I did ten years ago again. But I told this story to my secretary yesterday and... you guessed it--Shingles! Marie has Shingles.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY GOD! Did I tempt fate telling that story again? Stevie has it right: "When you believe in things you don't understand and you suffer, then you suffer; Superstition ain't the way."

I love you Marie, and I pray you get better soon.

Congrats UConn Women's Hoops

Last night, the University of Connecticut Huskies Women's Basketball team set a new NCAA consecutive wins streak record with 89 wins. This beats the former record set by John Wooden's UCLA Bruins between 1971-1973.

Sports TV, radio, and blogs have been on fire about whether this record means as much because it's a "women's" record. I believe there is only one way to know, judge them by the quality of the competition they faced.

Were Geno Auriemma's teams tested like Wooden's? Which team saw more ranked opponents? You can ask the question about which team dominated its opponents more, but then you also have to ask if a blowout a sign of a superior team or inferior competition?

Well, I won't say that one is better or worse. Let me say congrats tot he UConn Huskies (not the Yukon Huskies) on their achievement. It was a long time coming and is well deserved. Don't let any nay sayers take a bit of your achievement away from you with the words "you're girls."

Til Death

The New York Times has a column called "Vows" where Debs and their Fraternity President betrothed's tell stories of meeting and courting with cute stories and quippy anecdotes. Not last Sunday.

Here's the story of Carol Anne Riddell and John Partilla as found in the New York Times.

To me, here is the quote of the article: As Mr. Partilla saw it, their options were either to act on their feelings and break up their marriages or to deny their feelings and live dishonestly. “Pain or more pain,” was how he summarized it.

Another good quote: I did a terrible thing as honorably as I could.

Today, Yahoo reports Mr. Partilla "has some misgivings -- about agreeing to let the Times profile him." Still, they say they were honest with each other and their spouses. As soon as they declared their feelings for each other they went to their spouses--they didn't go off and have a tawdry affair, and Mr. Partilla is proud of that.

I think he's setting the bar kind of low on pride here.

This is kind of like the flip-side of Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light." In that song, the man proposes so he can get physical release. In this case there are two divorces so the new couple can get release, you fill in the blank about what kind of release.

So what do we learn from all of this? Nothing our mama's didn't tell us growing up and we forgot while watching Springer, "Keep your dirty laundry off the line!" The happy couple wanted "one honest account" of their relationship to date. They didn't think of it as dirty laundry, but many comments on the NYT web page seem to differ. I guess they didn't have a tawdry affair, but was what they had-is what they have-so much different?

I believe being proud that as they discarded their vows they did it above board is not enough.

Editor's note: Cases of abuse and abandonment are different from what's going on here. That's a whole different ballgame.

Then again, what do I know...I'm a child of divorce and lies about divorce. My sisters have both been divorced and I have been married 13 years after not getting married until my mid-30's. If you get it, please share. Not just the reason for the divorce but the reason for sharing, I'm kind of stumped.

Cliff Lee to the Phillies

The Hero of the Texas Rangers, Cliff Lee, has signed to pitch for the Philadelphia Phillies for the next five seasons, and one more if the optional year is exercised. The deal is substantial, over five years he will be paid $120 million.

As big as that number is, the Texas Rangers and New York Yankees both offered more money. So why did Lee pick the Phillies?

First, he played for them last year and liked playing there.

Second, he is now one of four top flight starting pitchers on the staff. Any team that has two top flight starters is tough, three is a machine. Four? Nobody has four. There haven't been so many good starters on a single team since the Atlanta Braves in the 80's and before that it was the Baltimore Orioles in the 70's. It's rarefied air.

Third, is it the money? Well, other teams wanted to pay him more, but seriously, how much money does one family need. If $120 million can't hold someone over, nothing can... but that leads to

Four, it's not so much money that the rest of the team will be crippled. By going to the Phillies and going for a "little less" money, the Phillies can still pay the rest of their rotation, along with Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Raul Ibanez, and others. Not only is he getting paid, but so is a real roster. In Texas, it probably would have been closer to "Cliff Lee and the League Minimums."

Five, Cliff Lee's son has leukemia which is currently in remission. One of the best children's hospitals in the hemisphere is in Philly, the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP). His son had been treated there and will continue to be treated there without commuting through a timezone to get to his appointment.

Finally, the Philly players have a commitment to youth, and particularly CHOP.

These videos are about a young man named Josiah Viera and his relationship with his favorite player, Ryan Howard. Sure, it's about ten minutes worth of video, but they are worth watching.

In addition, it was my honor to know an Aunt and Uncle of a young woman with a rare form of cancer who was being treated at CHOP. While at the hospital, in what can best be described as an adoption, Phillies relief pitcher Brad Lidge became very close to a young woman named Leah and her family. Brad Lidge was generous with his time and his love for this young woman and her family. I've been praying not only for her family, but for Brad Lidge ever since.

So there it is. There are a lot of teams that have lost out on a great pitcher, but this is one man who has gained much because his choice of who he went to work for was based on more than the money it put in his pocket.

To all of the other teams in the league, particularly the Rangers, I'm sorry, it wasn't fair, you couldn't offer everything that would sway Cliff Lee's decision.

As for the Yankees, I've hated you since the 70's when you beat the Royals for the pennant all those times. I'll never be sorry you didn't get a free agent! You can take your money and go home!

Have You Ever Been to Marshall, Texas in the Winter?

If you have never been to Marshall, Texas in the winter, you are missing a wonderland.

Marie and I saw the lighting of the courthouse lights on the day before Thanksgiving and it was a joy. The Chamber brought in Rhema Marvanne to do a show and it was great. If you've never heard her, follow the link. The most wonderful thing about this young singer is that even with such powerful pipes, she is still a seven year old girl. She's not twenty-two in a seven year old's body nor is she forty-eight in a seven year old's body. She's seven and that's special.

There are light shows all over Marshall with bus tours and horse drawn carriages to see them in.

There's even an outdoor ice rink on the square.

There's only a few days left to see it all, so come on down. For details, check out http://visitmarshalltexas.org/ on the internet. See you soon!

My December Newsletter Article

Every month I write a letter for the church newsletter. Here's this month's letter...

Dear Friends in Christ,

The other day I was driving to the church up south Washington toward the square. It was one of those balmy Indian Summer mornings when it wasn’t too chilly and you knew it was going to be a lovely day. My mind was wandering a little, as far as it should while driving in the hospital zone. Just south of the hospital is the Marshall Manor nursing home and as I was passing the nursing home I saw something that simply mesmerized me. On the patio facing the street, facing the east, was about a half-dozen residents. Some were in jackets, others wrapped in blankets. Some were on benches and others were in wheelchairs. Nobody had either a cup of coffee or the newspaper. All of them were gazing into the rising sun. They were sitting on the patio being bathed in the first rays of the dawn of the day as they rose above the treetops.

Of all things, it reminded me of a 1988 movie starring Nicholas Cage called “City of Angels” about an angel who fell in love and fell to earth so he could be with Meg Ryan. One of the recurring scenes in the movie shows the angels standing on the seashore or on tall buildings and gazing into the sunrise and sunset. At these quiet moments, the angels can hear the music of God’s glory ringing through creation. As I was driving past the nursing home, when I saw these people sitting on the patio gazing into the morning dew, seeing these fragile people who had seen so much in this life; I imagined them as the angels hearing the music of God’s glory in the breaking of the sun on creation.

It may be kind of cheesy, but that’s just the way my mind works some days.

As we come into Advent (and as we say, “Advent” means “Coming”) I am not reminded of God’s coming in power and might, I am reminded of an infant. I am reminded of a newborn who can do nothing for himself. I am reminded of someone who is totally powerless and needs people around him to do the most basic and mundane things, beginning with cleaning and feeding. But I am also reminded that in the early light of the star that burns so bright in the night sky, there is a music that everyone can hear, a music that comes not from creation, but from the Creator, from Him. He comes without power and might, and he comes in majesty and in glory.

So during this Advent season, let us prepare for his coming. Let us prepare for this coming and for his next coming in majesty and glory and in power and might. As we prepare our homes let us prepare our very selves to hear the music that is aching to be played in our soul. Let us be like those residents of Marshall Manor, sitting in the morning glory like the angels hearing the music of God’s glory in the breaking of the Son of Man.

Have a wonderful Advent… and a Merry Christmas, Paul

NFL Week 12

Sure, everyone else on earth has been here and so I'm going now. This is the big bru-ha-ha coming to you through the auspices of the World Wide Leader--ESPN.com...

And this gem is from a photo caption on ESPN.com

[Tennessee Titans Safety] Cortland Finnegan and [Houston Texans Wide Receiver] Andre Johnson engaged in a full-blow fistfight late in the Texans' 20-0 victory over Tennessee. On Monday, both players were fined $25,000.

It seems so demure when you express it in a picture caption. What happened was far wilder.

Cortland Finnegan is an instigator. He loves to pick fights with receivers and on Sunday, that receiver was Andre Johnson. Finally Johnson got sick and tired of the whole thing and a fight broke out. Both players lost their helmets, but it was Finnegan who looked like a speed bag during a hard workout and Johnson was playing the role of the boxer.

By the way, Finnegan was giving up a good 4" in height and 40 pounds. You can pick all the fights you want, but look out for when they decide to fight back. Finnegan is a bully and it's just bad logic to bully someone bigger than you are.

Both players were ejected from the game and, as you read, both were also fined $25,000. Was it a just decision, well, I have another idea...

I say, as the player who got his clock cleaned, the NFL should have allowed Cortland Finnegan to set Andre Johnson's punishment. Then I believe the NFL should have doubled it and given it to Finnegan for instigating the whole thing.

Did I mention that the Johnson's team shut-out Finnegan's team? Did I mention that this is the second shut-out in the history of the Houston Texan's franchise? So true...

Hey Cortland--Don't cross the river if you can't swim the tide.

What's That?

Yesterday I was at the store and saw a full size pickup truck raised on its suspension with large mudder tires. It was a drab color of green, but what caught my attention was the detail across the bottom third of the chassis.

The bottom of the truck was wrapped in camouflage decals.

What good is this? What is the deer supposed to think anyway?

"Golly! It looks like a pickup truck, but it's... it's floating! It's floating above the grass and brush! How is this happe..."

Then Bambi is mesmerized until Bubba gets off a clean shot.

Yeah, that's the ticket!

So, What Are You Giving This Christmas?

This is the opposite of the normal way this question is asked, but it does deserve asking, what are you giving this Christmas? One of the things Marie and I are giving this Christmas is this Christmas card.

We received this card last year from Denis and Jenny Greene and their lovely family in Kansas City. (Thanks Denis! Thanks Jenny!) As it says on the back of the card:

The "Bus Stop Nativity" (2007) was designed by St. James Youth Group Member Osa Eke. Here Christ, along with Mary and Joseph, are waiting at the bus stop at the corner of 39th and Troost Ave., just outside St. James Catholic Church. (Personal note: If you are unfamiliar with navigating KC, MO, you would not know that this isn't one of the city's "Visitor Brochure" neighborhoods. Sure, there are worse neighborhoods, but no one is going to confuse this area with the Country Club strip of Ward Parkway.)

To learn more about St. James Catholic Church and its ministries, visit http://www.stjkc.org/

The card itself was created by a youth group member and printed by the Student Press @ DeLaSalle with assists the Parish with all printing needs. In this way it is a mission arm of the Parish and helps support people who need printing and people who need to learn a skill. I imagined when I got some of these cards last year, I was helping support this part of the Parish mission.

Unfortunately the card is no longer available. But it returns us to the question, what are you giving this Christmas?

If you can make one gift, just one gift, something that helps give to others too, it is a gift that gives twice. I hope all who receive the card are as blessed as I was when we got it. I pray the kids working with the Student Press @ DeLaSalle are blessed too with what they receive from the mission.

Can we all do this at least once this Christmas season? A little can go a long, long way.

The PC (USA) New Form of Government

This weekend Grace Presbytery, the organization of PC (USA) churches in northeast Texas, voted on the PC (USA) New Form of Government. It passed at about a 4-1 margin. The questions and discussion on the matter generally took one of two paths.

The first was whether this new form of government would maintain the ordination restrictions (fidelity and chastity to those who know the restrictions by those terms) found in the current Form of Government. The answer to that question is "yes." This question was asked four times by three persons and each time the answer was "yes." (People, pay attention!) Along this line was also a question about whether the definition of marriage would change. The answer is "no" because the definition of marriage is not found in the form of government, either in the current or proposed forms. This is found in the Directory for Worship, which is a part of the Book of Order but not a part of the Form of Government.

The second path dealt with something far different and in my opinion more important. This path seems to me to be the matter of trust.

To me, one of the things the new Form of Government will force Presbyterians to do is move from a starting point of function in our governance to one of formation, spiritual formation and congregational/denominational formation. It will force us to ask who we are before settling on how we do it. I believe this is a good thing.

As long as I have been an active member of the church, it has seemed that the upper governing bodies, from the Session to the General Assembly, have had more to do with how than who.

One speaker said that this new form was based on trust, a trust that he did not find in any of the four Presbyteries in which he has served, so he was speaking against the amendment. I agree with him, it is a matter of trust and that's the crux of the matter. The general line of this path seemed to be how can we trust others to follow the rules if we our new form of government doesn't have hard and fast rules? Because of this, there is a basic mistrust and fear that there are a significant number of people trying to "skirt the rules" and "get away with something."

As much as I would like to join hands and sing Kum-ba-Yah, I must say that he has a point. Trust must be developed. But honestly, let us look at what we share. We completely and absolutely share vocation and ordination. For those who say "no they don't" I ask you who "they" are. When you decide, then I say talk to them and find out. I believe that if we are called to be about formation, if we are to be about something more than a book of rules, if we are to be the children of the living God, the God who became man and walked among us, we have to do what he did--we have to get to know one another.

This fear of mistrust is real, but as with all holy fear it must be dealt with in the holiest way possible. Maybe we should do it like Jesus did in Luke, over a good meal. Let's get to know each other, let trust and grace take hold of our relationships, and then we just might discover that a book of rules is silly in the life of Christ.

I Pray This Is My Last Kanye/Today Show Update

UPDATE: The Today Show has announced that Kanye will not be performing in The Today Show Concert Series as scheduled. They evidently even used the phrase "as contracted" with all of its legal implications.

In fairness, Kanye tweeted that he would not be performing on the Today Show on November 12.

Welcome to the lamest celebrity feud ever. The good news is that this feud can go on forever because the reputations of both The Today Show and Kanye West will only be enhanced by this war of words so it can go on forever and ever. Wait, that's not good news at all.

Next on Kanye's World

Kanye West is back in the TwitterVerse revealing that life is unfair and people aren't nice.


Kanye posted this tweet this morning in response to the Matt Lauer response to their prior day's interview. Gee, everybody has an agenda, who knew?

Kanye says he can't be everything to everybody anymore. Anymore? I believe this line from "Fight the Power"said it best Chuck D. sings, "But he never meant shit to me."

You say you don't trust anyone but yourself. Trust yourself? Good luck with that.

Kanye, W, and Matt Lauer

This would have been a good week to watch The Today Show. I am guessing that this clip was The Today Show's response to the W and Kanye interviews earlier this week.

The Tom Cruise Pantheon now has two new members. What is it about Matt that makes people want to fight and then say stupid things? I got a big laugh at Meridith's "Doesn't sound like much, but..." comment at the end. What's much adoo about nothing to Meridith is the world to someone else. Oh well, go get 'em Matt.

This would have been a good week to watch The Today Show.

Not Cheating Per Se

Again, I love football coaches. This morning's entry into the love fest comes from Connecticut where the coach of the Southington High School football team took advantage of a little situation caused one careless player from Manchester High.

You can read the full story here, but for me it all comes down to this: A Manchester player dropped a wristband with the team's play codes into the box that had the video sent to Southington and the Southington coach used it in the game.

With the wristband, the Southington team could know the Manchester plays as the Quarterback was calling them. According to the Southington coach, he used it during just one drive, but that's the damage and the damage is done.

The Southington High School principal said, "The administration's investigation determined that [the coach's] actions did not adhere to the district's high expectations for all Southington Public School coaches."

The Manchester High School said that he has sent a protest letter to the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference, which governor high school sports in Connecticut.

But these are the words of Larry Williams, the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference Football committee chair (spoken before he saw the Manchester protest), "It's what we call ethics between coaches and good sportsmanship. I don't think it's cheating per se." He goes on, "We need to make sure we produce good citizens, and that's what this game is all about. These are all teaching moments."

This is what I like, "these are teaching moments." There are those who say that "If you aren't cheating, you aren't trying." and "It's only cheating when you get caught." I agree with Mr. Williams, it probably isn't cheating, but it's not good sportsmanship. There is more to being a good citizen and a good sportsman than following the rules.

Living in a society that pushes all of the rules to their most extreme and one tick more is one that becomes an overfilled balloon, one slight misstep and the whole thing will explode in our faces. (Banking scandals? Enron?)

Was the Southington coach's actions unsportsmanlike? I think so. Was it cheating? We'll see.

It's the motion toward citizenship and faithful stewardship that makes life worth living. A life in good citizenship tends not just itself, but for the neighbor as well. The life of a good steward is not just concerned with the individual but with all God creates.

So three cheers for Larry Williams, three cheers for citizenship, three cheers for sportsmanship, three cheers for stewardship.

Conflicting Priorities

When I was a Student Pastor Intern at Central Presbyterian Church in Austin, Texas there was a problem the church continuously faced, campers. No, this isn't people parking huge RV's on the street and in the parking lot, it wasn't even the circus of film crews and star trailers all around a citywide movie set. It's homeless people camping on the church grounds.

I find two edges to this sword.

The First: Three of the six Great Ends of the Church are "the shelter, nurture, and spiritual fellowship of the people of God," "the promotion of social righteousness" and, "the exhibition of the Kingdom of Heaven to the world." Alone and in combination, this tells us that caring weak and deposed in this society (including the homeless) is a work the Church (capital "C" the church universal as well as individual congregations).

The Second: At Central, they eventually had to post "No Trespassing" signs because of the damage left by the campers. Everyday the Sexton (Custodian) had to pick up the trash from the night before. He even had to rake the playground to remove the human feces from the sand. Another problem beyond this is that the church was broken into several times by the campers and others who would target the church. The church secretary and I figured the church spent well over $50,000 per year (in 2003) to clean up and repair the damage.

The Crux of the Matter: There are campers at First Presbyterian Church in Marshall. With these campers is a trail of trash and laundry that looks awful. We haven't found human feces on site, nor have we had a robbery. Not yet.

So, I don't want people rousted and taken to jail, but I surely don't want people camping on the grounds of the church.

There are more places and better care for people in Marshall than the grounds of the church. Several of these services are supported by the tithes and offerings of the First Presbyterian Church.

So that's my conundrum, not care but the shape of care. We want people to take advantage of what the church helps support without inviting people to use the grounds like a personal KOA. It's the fine lines between being faithful people to the needy, faithful stewards of the gifts of God, and not being hardened to the needs of the needy.

Can you help?

Suffering in Dallas

God I love football, and I love it when coaches and owners speak, because they say some of the funniest things I've ever heard. ESPN reports that Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is not happy with his teams fifth straight loss which drops the 'Boys to 1-7 overall. Jerry says...

"There are a lot of people here who are certainly going to suffer and suffer consequences." I guess that's good because I wouldn't want them to suffer from dandruff or something like that.

"I'm talking about within the team -- players, coaches who have got careers." I guess Jerry decided that the fans, the media, and the people of Indonesia have suffered enough.

"I think unquestionably that our expectations were thinking we're something we were not, possibly looking at what might be relative to a Super Bowl." First, is there a verb in this sentence? Considering the sentence structure "think" doesn't count. Second, what is the relative to "a Super Bowl?" The way the 'Boys have been playing I'm not going to go to that joke, it's just too mean and way too easy.

"I've got a lot of work to do, got a lot of decisions to make. And it's not just one, two, three or four. There are several decisions." and later "I can't put my finger on it because I don't have enough fingers." I guess that to Jerry "several" is a number greater than ten.

Jerry, Jerry, Jerry... Nice melt down.

Presumption Comes In All Shapes

Yesterday I was listening to KRLD Radio 1080 coming into Dallas. One of the stories they were playing was about a father who was a Boy Scouts of America local volunteer. (Sorry, unable to find the link as I was writing this.) His son was in a local troop and the man was the chair of the popcorn fundraiser.

He had done such a good job that he was awarded a leader's shirt. Not too shabby for a divorced father staying connected in his son's life. He should be acknowledged for taking an active role in his son's life and as a scout leader.

Now the man has been asked to stop wearing his leader's shirt. Sure, he can still raise the money, please raise the money, but he can't wear the shirt.

He was asked not to wear the shirt because he is gay. Oh, and this was not news to anyone when he ran the fundraiser or got the shirt. His sexuality was not an issue when this began, but it is now.

The story goes on with the man objecting to the Boy Scouts discriminating against him, particularly since the troop meets in a local public school "funded by my tax dollars." He goes on to say that the courts have ruled that Scouts can discriminate against gays in and maintain a presence in the public schools. Then he did say he just may sue them.

This bugs me: He's a father, he's involved with his son, he raises money, he's a model of involved parent (so I would assume from what I heard on the radio). Now he can't wear the shirt the troop bestowed upon him because he's gay. That's not right.

But here's what really bugs me: The interview ended with him saying that such discrimination does not belong in public schools. If you are going to discriminate it should be done in the churches "where it belongs."

I got the quote right, he said discrimination, particularly the discrimination he faces, belongs in the church.

Here's what I want to say to the man: "Yes, there are churches that don't welcome gays and there are churches that do. But in lumping all people of faith together in one homophobic lump, you have just committed a sin of discrimination against people of faith. You say discrimination against you is wrong, and I agree. But you have just made the same judgement against me that the troop made against you.

Beware of glass houses... I have found they get drafty when you throw too many stones.

Happy Birthday Marie

Today, the woman I love the most turns (mumble, mumble, mumble) years old. We have been together for fifteen years, married for over thirteen. I have never known love like hers.

I believe, with all my heart, that it is God who put us together. When I see her smile, I see God. When she laughs, I hear God. When she talks to others, sharing love, and joy, and concerns; I see God. Especially when she reaches out to someone who is trouble, especially at these times, I see God.

I see God's eternal light reflected in her eyes.

This picture was taken on our first date.

It is by God's grace and love that she is in my life, and I am eternally faithful.

Praise God, and happy birthday Marie.

This January on The Food Network

The Food Network has just announced that it is airing a a new show produced by Dick Wolf. It will be a police procedural drama set in and around a New York City bistro. It will be the first of its kind for a network known for its cooking shows.

It's going to be called "Law and Hors-d'oeuvre."

Texas- The Southwestern Home of the Kolache

Marshall, Texas has several donut shops, all of them operated by Asians (nothing wrong with that, but it does strike me as overly specialized). Each of these shops has their own take on the Eastern European pastry, the kolache.

The traditional kolache is filled with fruit but around East Texas they are sausage, so around here what they serve is a kolbasnek, but that's splitting hairs. What's important is that the pastry around the Earl Campbell link is so light that the tastes explode in your mouth. I haven't had a bad pastry in this part of East Texas

As for the joy of the donut... The way they make donuts around here the pastry is so light and flaky that they are positively krispykremesque. That's right, I turned Krispy Kreme into an adjective, that's how light they are.

So come to East Texas and when you do, hit a donut shop, any donut shop, and have a coffee too. In some shops you can even get Louisiana's own Community Coffee with chickery. Stop on in, you won't be disappointed

Unpacking

Friends,
Unpacking has been the theme of the last two weeks. The kitchen is almost unpacked and the bathrooms have most of their stuff in them. The master bedroom has some boxes, but most of the important ones have been unloaded... that is the ones that have been found have been unpacked.

That's the thing about packing, finding the stuff to unpack it is nearly as difficult. It wasn't until yesterday that I found my Presbyterian Worship Planner Volume 2 (on CD-ROM) in a box at the church. Though I still haven't found the pictures I hang in the office; and God knows what I'm going to do with twelve more boxes of files and stuff now that the bookshelves are full.

The other things that are becoming unpacked is life in Marshall. The annual Fire Ant Festival was last weekend and there's a wedding this weekend (Congrats Marla and Robbie!). I have a conference in Fort Worth around the corner and meetings with the folks who do worship, hospitality, and stewardship on the horizon. Just to put one more piece of love on the marquee, I will be installed as Minister of Word and Sacrament on November 7th.

But you know what else I have, I have Georgia practicing the organ in the background and there's something wonderful in hearing her play "My Hope Is Built on Nothing Less" knowing that it is true, our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' hope and righteousness.

It will be some time before we finish unpacking. There will be some stuff we will throw away and more that we will put in the storage shed in the backyard, but as we do, we have hope, and it is a wonder.

Share and Enjoy, Paul

Take a Step Away from the Song

According to Wikipedia, Leonard Cohen, author and original singer of the wonderful song "Hallelujah" once said about his creation, "I was just reading a review of a movie called Watchmen that uses it and the reviewer said 'Can we please have a moratorium on "Hallelujah" in movies and television shows?' And I kind of feel the same way... I think it's a good song, but I think too many people sing it."

If the proof is in the pudding, well, here's the pudding...

You Might Have Been in Northwest Arkansas...

Last Wednesday I went to a meeting of the Marshall, Texas Ministerial Alliance. When they asked where I came from, most of them commented that they had been in my neck of the woods. Whether in Branson or in Eureka Springs they were familiar with northwest Arkansas, especially the fact that the roads are a straight as a ball of yarn.

One of them mentioned that he turned on the news hoping to hear the score of the Texas Rangers game from earlier in the evening to be struck that the only sports news in NWA was the Razorbacks. He was positively dumbfounded that a full sports report could revolve around this one topic.

I have just two comments: First-Well, yeah, welcome to northwest Arkansas. Second-If you think that's bad check out the sports report from Austin.

Pink Ladies

On Thursday, Marie had a doctor's appointment. To the casual observer, there's very little new in that. What was new is that it was her first doctor's appointment in Marshall, Texas. Hooray Marshall, Texas!

I let Marie out of the car at the door and parked in the lot. As I came in about five minutes later, I hear this lovely voice cry out, "Hi Pastor!" It was Martha, a Pink Lady at the Good Shepherd Hospital in Marshall.

There is something so great about hearing a friendly voice as I went into the hospital that it made my day. Thanks Martha.

It also got me thinking about Hospital Axillary. One of the traditions of hospital axillary is the pink jackets the ladies would wear at the desk and around the hospital. It sets them off from everyone else with a splash of joyful color. It makes me smile just to think about it.

It also reminds me of something else.

St. John's Hospital in Berryville, Arkansas was once an independent hospital, but for a million reasons it joined with the St. John's Healthcare System out of Springfield, Missouri. Doing so meant that it lost some of its distinctiveness, including the tradition of the pink jacket.

These days, the axillary wears blue jackets and vests, just like every other business person on the face of the earth. There is no change to the ladies, but there is a distinctive loss of the pink jacket. There is a attitude you have with a pink jacket that just doesn't make it past "business blue." It looses the distinctiveness of "Berryville" and makes it ring "St. John's Corporate." Much of the rest of the hospital has also lost its individual distinctiveness and has take on corporate sameness. More's the pity.

So hooray for Pink Ladies. Hooray for Martha! Long may your banner wave!

Dez Bryant and the NFL, Chapter Two

A couple of weeks ago, I posted this blog about Dallas Cowboy's Rookie Dez Bryant and hazing in the NFL. In short, I wrote that Bryant should have said what he was going to do, not what he wasn't going to do.

Also, if he wanted to do it with swagger, swag away.

Well, Roy Williams finally got Dez Bryant "paid back" for his "disrespect," and it cost in the neighborhood of $55,000. Follow the ESPN link here. Oh well, it could have been worse.

On another note, some of the comments on the article say that he should have donated that money to a food bank or other sort of place. Well, I just want to say, and as a minister you might expect that I would say, he should donate more than just $55K to a food bank or a homeless shelter or a battered women's shelter or his church or the United Way or to his college or to folks who can use it to make life better. As for where the donations are to go, sure, I have my own ideas about giving, I just hope he does give.

An apology...

Dear America,
If you were on the highways and byways of our beautiful nation over the past few days, you might have seen me on the road. I was the guy driving a 27' U-Haul truck at varying speeds depending upon the terrain.

I have a bit of a lead foot myself, though I have no tickets since I got married. (Yes, there is a causal relationship between these two items.) So I've been frustrated behind all sorts of vehicles in all sorts of conditions.

Well, over the past two days I have been the problem instead of the solution. So let me just apologize and tell you that we unload the vehicle today and we will again be overlarge vehicle free. Praise God!

Yours in overdrive, Paul

Now that'll work...

My wife was feeling a little irregular a while ago, so her mother sent this "recipe" to help take care of that:

Mix together:
1 Cup apple sauce
1 Cup coarse unprocessed bran
3/4 Cup prune juice

Mixture will be like a thick paste
Refrigerate in a covered container

Take in the evening for a morning BM
Increase bran mix by two table spoons each week until BM's are regular
Always take one glass of water with mixture

A diet high in fiber and drinking at least 6-8 glasses of water daily can also help with bowel management during the recovery period.

Let's just say that my name for this concoction sounds a lot like "Weapon of Mass Destruction." My wife also noted that the whole "increase bran mix by two table spoons each week" was highly unnecessary.

This is the sort of mix that takes Jamie Lee Curtis' yogurt and leaves it in the dust.

I am not a doctor nor do I play one on television. I received this information and share it in a humorous vein. As with all "medical" advice, please contact your doctor.

Ode to Merlin

Here's a question, where do you see Christ in your life. The answer for me is easy, I see Christ everyday in my wife Marie. I see her reflecting the light of God everyday. There is no better example of her love than in her choice of pets.

This is Merlin. We, rather, she adopted him from the Good Shepherd Humane Society in Eureka Springs, Arkansas soon after we moved to Berryville. Marie didn't pick the prettiest kitty at the shelter, oh no. She selected the cat who needed love and a home more than any of the other cats at the shelter.

We don't know about his life before the shelter, but we suspect it wasn't good. We do know that Merlin had been returned by his first adopted family. They were looking for a cat who would be a kitty for a family with small kids, and that was not Merlin's demeanor.

I know that cat's don't have facial expressions, but Merlin's continence was dour, he looked sad and when his eyes were just so, he looked scared to death. We suspect that he was abused at one time because he was always skittish. But you know what, that's what Marie saw at the shelter. She saw a cat that needed a home. Now, isn't that Christ-like, loving those who need love most of all.

She saw a cat that needed love, even if all he would do is cower under the bed or in the corner. She knew that she could give him the love he needed to be a cat again. And he was a cat again.

Yesterday we had to put him down. He was just too sick and there was nothing we could do to make his life better. Marie cried, and God love him, I did too. We miss you Merlin, but where you are now, there is no fear, there is no pain, and there is joy.

Thanks for being our cat.

The Past and the Future and My Impressions of Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary

In the most recent issue of the Presbyterian Outlook magazine (Vol. 192, No. 19, September 20, 2010), the news from Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary (APTS) goes like this:

Austin Seminary continues to see a trend toward younger students with a demonstrated commitment to service. The median age in the last two entering classes was 28.

and so on.

Austin Seminary did not herald the building of its new residence facility, as it usually does, in this issue of The Outlook. Anderson House is a new multi family facility built with Green Energy partnership codes from AustinEnergy.

On the facade of the building is a quote from the Rev. John Anderson, major donor and building namesake:

"Send us preachers who are not boring."

Of course, it's in Latin because that way nobody will know what it means. It's an inside joke.

Now for my rant: When Marie and I got to Austin, the average age of students was in the mid-30's. That was fine with us because we were in our late-30's. When we got to APTS, we were as welcomed as seminary could make us.

Is it easy to get welcomed in seminary? I always said that seminary was the best and worst of the church with the best and the worst of higher education, and as an ordained Elder in the church who worked at a major university, I felt I could speak from experience in both realms. I feel my assessment is not good or bad, but I feel it's accurate.

Today, with the push toward youth, I do not know if Marie and I would be welcomed at APTS like we were ten years ago. We weren't young. We didn't have two kids and one more on the way. We weren't then and still aren't the hip "Keep Austin Weird" folks the area is so proud of fostering.

I think it's wonderful, but I don't give a rip about a green building after living in the 650 square feet they accorded us upon arrival. Finally, my first call was to a church that could barely support a pastor, not one that supports a pastor that can support the seminary. (That's what we all get for going where I was called.)

Looking at this blurb from The Outlook, I only believe my assessment of our newly minted outsider status is firm.

Honestly, when I was a student at APTS, the push was toward worship and preaching the Word of God with integrity and grace. In my opinion, a call to be "not boring" is pretty shallow.

Jim Jones wasn't boring, but I'm not selling or drinking that Kool-Aid. Joel Osteen sells out the Compaq Center and sells a billion books, but I'm taught to go for something deeper sharing the fullness of God's grace on God's people.

I guess I'm sad. I guess I'm disappointed. But I guess Thomas Wolfe is right, you can't go home again.

The Neanderthal Football League

Ines Sainz is a sports reporter for Azteca TV, a Mexican television network with several affiliates in the US, including Austin, Texas where I would occasionally watch. This weekend she was the center of controversy because she was the subject of catcalls and other unwanted behavior in the New York Jets locker room.

Some have said that Ms. Sainz dresses provocatively. I would be one of the first to agree. She's a former Miss Spain and Miss Universe contestant who dresses like someone who knows how to accent what she hopes to accent. And if you have ever seen Azteca TV you would know that this is the style of the network. In fact I have never seen a Mexican or Hispanic TV broadcast that did not include an overabundance of cleavage, and that includes the news! She was dressed in her normal workplace attire, just like the men were in the locker room after the game.

The sideline shenanigans are another story.

This has caused a new storm of sexual harassment in the workplace/NFL Locker room talk. Let's begin here: Nobody deserves to receive cat calls or leering glares or sneering remarks about their appearance in the workplace. Nobody deserves that, regardless of whether they are a woman who dresses to accent her appearance (which Ms. Sainz does) or naked in the locker room (which the players in varying stages are).

But I want to make one thing clear too. Professional athletics in America are the last bastion of the great adolescent male. The great majority of these guys have been made to feel special, they have been catered to all their lives. They have gifts that are the product of testosterone and the training that only fuels primary urges and hormonal drives.

Can they help it? Of course they can. Are they expected to? Often no.

Folks, the genie is in and out of the bottle. They are expected to act like Neanderthals one moment and gentlemen the next. I'm not saying to cut them slack when they cross the line, just don't be shocked when they do.

In America...

This weekend, Marie and I were in Texas to do some work with our move to Marshall. We had some business with the Presbytery, we had some business with the Realtor, and (best of all) we had dinner with the congregation in Marshall. It was a delightful weekend with people who are very important to us.

On Friday night after the Presbytery meeting we met up with Rick and Teri Brooks. Rick is the pastor of St. Mark Presbyterian in West Dallas and Teri works at UT Dallas. Well, on Saturday, we went to lunch with Rick and Teri and Rick's folks Dick and Dot, while there, we ran into this guy:

If you know the story or watched the video, you would know Igor got his own 7-Eleven franchise. His store is in Richardson, Texas, right next door to where we ate lunch on Saturday afternoon. When we got there, he was running around all over the store making sure everything was as neat as a pin. He was cleaning glass and he even held the door for us greeting us as we came though his door.

Let me tell you, his store was the cleanest convenience store on the face of the earth, having worked at a gas station and a convenience store, I know how hard it is to keep clean and his store was clean enough to eat off the floors.

Igor, my wife Marie and I give you our best (and about eight bucks) and I hope you have a wonderful life. You're living the American dream. You come from Kazakhstan with $50 in your pocket, a driving work ethic, and a dream. Congratulations on your dream coming true.

I say "coming" because Igor knows his dream has just begun, he also knows about the hard work it takes to keep it going. If he didn't, he wouldn't be cleaning glass on a Saturday afternoon in the sun and heat of North Dallas. God bless.

Adventures in Moving

That was once UHaul's slogan, "Adventures in Moving." Frankly, Marie and I have had more than one of their lovely adventures since we met. The "best" was having a water pump blow in the middle of Illinois on the first day of deer season. Getting help was as hard as getting a twelve-point buck.

So, Marie and I are getting ready to move. We're moving to Marshall, Texas as soon as Grace Presbytery, real estate hurdles, and UHaul can get us there. And we couldn't be happier. We also couldn't be more amazed.

Please prepare to nod your head as you read: You wouldn't believe all of the crap we've found! It has been a sheer multitude of stuff we didn't know we had, didn't know where it had gone, and wondered how we ever lived with it in the first place.

Honestly, it is our fault. We haven't had a real honest pitch-fest since we moved to Fayetteville, Arkansas about twelve years ago. At least it has been a windfall to some of the absolutely fabulous charities here in Berryville. As such, it has also been a windfall for the landfill, but after twelve years or so, a trip or two to the dump is not out of line.

So things are rolling here, we are blessed and happy, we are glad to be on our way to Marshall and God's people at First Presbyterian in Marshall. All we need now is a dolly and some Advil, but that's just another part of the "Adventure in Moving."

Working Yourself Out of Business

The First Presbyterian Church in Berryville is one of the four founding churches of the Loaves and Fishes Food Bank of the Ozarks in Berryville. The food bank distributes not only donated food, but also government commodities. They also provide a space for the Salvation Army and the State or Arkansas Office of Local Concerns. These folks provide money and services to help people over the bumps of life.

They offer classes to help people become self sufficient. They offer advice on budgets, job search, and resume writing just to name a few. They offer help with interview skills and other help for people to find jobs and better jobs. Loaves and Fishes is also the distribution point for First Presbyterian's school supply project which this year packed over $8,000.00 worth school supplies for 436 school kids grades K-8. Truly it has been my pleasure being associated with the food bank as Pastor of the Presbyterian Church.

And for the past six months as a client. In February, when we took a pay cut, we became eligible for their services.

Earlier this month, I have been called to serve the First Presbyterian Church in Marshall, Texas. With this change, We will be moving from the area and moving from needing the wonderfully gracious and generous services the food bank provides.

Today, a wonderful lady from one of the local churches who has heard of my new call came into the office and congratulated me. Then with joy in her voice she said, "So we won't see you anymore." After about a minute she said, "That came out all wrong."

I understand and I told her so. She is happy that I have received a new call. She is happy that I will not need the services she provides anymore. She is happy that prayers have been answered. I told her I knew what she meant and in the same vein we are joyful too.

This would be the greatest joy of all, that the good folks of Loaves and Fishes help people with enough food and services that they are able to find the work they need so that they no longer need the commodities. It would be the greatest joy of all that the good folks of Loaves and Fishes help people with enough job finding skills that they can move into doing more about job enhancement skills.

May they be blessed and may the people of Carroll County be so blessed that Loaves and Fishes works itself out of business, or at least into a new business. In a sin soaked world, that may not be possible, but wouldn't it be nice. Thanks to Loaves and Fishes and praise be to God.

Pete Rose on Roger Clemens

I once blogged (or at least I thought I did, but I can't find the link) that Roger Clemens, with his responses to Congress, Baseball, and anyone who will listen, is doing what comes naturally, throwing heat.

As a pitcher, he was great because he never backed down from anyone at any time. He was always in your face. This will not serve him as well as he is indicted for perjury by Congress, but you can't get Roger out of uniform and once he puts on his spikes...

What is amazing is who understands him better than anyone else, Pete Rose. This article on ESPN.com goes a long way to showing that whether Pete is sincere or not in his confessions and apologies, he at least now understands the gravity of his actions and more his denial. Written by Johnette Howard, it's great reading.

Fight! Fight!

I do wish I had pics or video on this, but Major League Baseball is tighter with images than a Submarine is with water.

On August 9, the Cincinnati Reds and the St. Louis Cardinals faced off in an important three game series for leadership in the National League's Central Division. Before the game, Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips shared some "unflattering remarks" about the Cardinals. Quickly, Phillips words incited the Cards to think bad thoughts.

So when Phillips came to the plate to take his first at-bat in the first inning, he tapped the Cardinal's catcher Yadier Molina on the shin guards. It was sort of his way of saying, "Hey, just busting your chops, no hard feelings." Molina said, "Au contraire."

This is when the best brawl in the MLB this year broke out.

I have enjoyed watching the Sport Caster's comments on this. The conventional wisdom is that Phillips should have stood in the batter's box in the first inning, taken the long expected 88 mph ball in the numbers, and taken his base. Then it would have been over. Instead, he gives off the "just kidding" vibe and all hell breaks loose.

The commentators also noted that it didn't appear that the Reds were in such a hurry to defend Brandon's honor. "Let him take a couple of punches from a guy who is wearing pads and a mask and then go out to break it up."

One of the things I love about baseball is that there is a zen to busting chops, taking breaking balls to the back, fights, and even when to let the umpire take one off the mask, but that's a story for another blog. Ah, the unwritten laws that are enforced unlike any written law can.

Naomi Campbell Testifies on 'Blood Diamonds' Link in Charles Taylor War Crimes Trial

Testifying at the War Crimes Trial of Charles Taylor, Naomi Campbell says "I didn't really want to be here... I just want to get this over with and get on with my life."

Gee, I wonder if a quarter million dead from the ten year civil war in Sierra Leone would feel the same way if given the opportunity.

Naomi Campbell Testifies on 'Blood Diamonds' Link in Charles Taylor War Crimes Trial

Baseball Broadcasters: Please Stop Misusing the Term "Walkoff"

Several years ago, baseball broadcasters started using the phrase "walkoff home run," or "walkoff" for short. The term was used to describe a home run hit by a batter which ended a game.

The walkoff is exciting for several reasons, foremost, the home run is often an epic hit whenever it comes in a baseball game. Sometimes the homer is a huge shot that escapes the stadium. Sometimes, it's a shot that just barely clears the wall, a shot that the fielder is almost able to make a play on, but not quite. Either of these is epic.

Another reason is that the walkoff to end a game can only come in the bottom of the final inning, whether the ninth or in extra innings. In either of these cases, the game will be tied or the home team will be behind. With the home team down, the crowd will be sitting on the edge of their collective seats, this adds to the drama.

To see a recent walkoff, follow this link for Alex Gordon's walkoff against the Orioles last night.

Finally, the entire reason to use the word "walkoff" is that after hitting a home run, the batter doesn't have to run, he can walk around the bases as the opposing team walks off the field.

Now, for the abuse of the term...

After a couple of years, the term "walkoff" was so beloved that it has begun to be used for any hit to to end a game coming in the bottom of the final inning. But here's the problem with this, if the hit is not a home run, the batter, the base runners, and the fielders had better be hauling their tails. They had better be hustling. They had better not be walking off. The history of baseball is filled little quirky endings that would have been different if someone had hustled.

Hence, only a home run (or a bases loaded walk, but that's not quite the same) can be a walkoff. That's it. Please, broadcasters everywhere, please reel in your use of the term "walkoff." If it's not a homer, it's just "a game winning hit" which is pretty good on its own merits.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

Naming Time

Marie and I were out of town last weekend. We had lunch at the McDonalds in Conway, Arkansas, just off of I-40. As with many other Mickey D's, they give you the cup and you dispense your own drinks.

Well, there was a sign on the machine, "Free refills apply only to the same visit." This made me wonder how many people came in with skanky old cups for their millionth refill. Ick!

On a similar note, the cup of my Mickey D Sweet Tea came with a coupon for a free smoothie on my next visit. The coupon itself also had this little note that defined next visit as "being at least two hours after the visit where you got the coupon." I guess this way you can't peel the coupon off of the cup and get a free drink immediately, you have to return.

A free refill is good on the same visit which ends when you leave the restaurant. The next visit can't come until at least two hours later. So McDonalds has defined a sort of "no-man's land" of time between visits.

So, what shall we call this period of time? I propose "tweener-time" but I hope someone can do better.

Dez Bryant and the NFL

Dez Bryant is the 2010 first round draft pick of the Dallas Cowboys football team. He was the 24th player picked overall in the NFL Draft. This means he's a very good football player. It was said that he could have gone higher but he comes with what ESPN calls "some risks."

Well, one of those risks came home to roost Sunday morning at the Cowboy's practice.

One of the "time honored traditions" of sports (at all levels) is rookie hazing. Athletes can make fraternities look timid with hazing. Cowboys veteran wide receiver Roy Williams told the rookie Bryant to carry his pads in from practice to the locker room. Well, Dez doesn't play like that. Dez Bryant told Roy Williams that he wasn't to carry other player's pads. He was there to win football games.

Well, this didn't set well with sports pundits everywhere. The links I have provided lead to other links if you are interested in what others have to say. As for me, I am torn.

As a Minister and former fraternity member, I am against hazing. People say it contributes to camaraderie. Well, it adds to resentment and a continuing pattern of violence against pledges, or in this case rookies.

Yet, I want to say, "C'mon Dez, he told you to carry his pads, he didn't tell you to do something more degrading." I once heard of a baseball team that was playing at "The K" in Kansas City and was forced to go from the locker room to his hotel room in a go-go dancer outfit.

"Yeah, cross dressing, that's how I spell camaraderie! I can smell the team spirit growing."

On a side note, some one shot the visiting team's bus and the bullet, which went through the side of the bus, was stopped by the leather boots. Lucky? I hate to use the argument "It could be worse," thankfully that's not all I have.

What could have Dez done to mess with the hazing on the other side of civil disobedience? I would have loved it if Dez took Roy's pads and started walking toward the parking lot. It would have been wonderful if Roy yelled "Meat, where're you going with my pads?"

I would have loved to hear Dez reply, "I'm takin' them to your car. You aren't going to need 'em out here much longer."

Yes, a lot of people would have not liked this answer either. It might have been seen as uppity; not respectful of the veteran Williams. Some would say it's petulant; he hasn't done anything yet. But what it would have done is fire a shot across the bow of the Cowboy's locker room saying, "I came to take your spot."

With this statement, Dez would have said what he is going to do, not what he isn't going to do. That will earn a lot more respect than saying "I didn't come to..."

Proactive Dez, that's the way to go.

Friends with Like Friends

The facebook social networking website has a rubric to help match people and groups. This helps people find other people with similar interests and blah, blah, blah.

I got this suggestion this morning when I logged in:

The Bible
Many who like SEC Football like this
Like

I'm just wondering, does The Bible like SEC Football as much as SEC Football likes it? Unrequited love can be such a drama-fest.

Cover Songs

Tonight, I'm featuring Tom Jones, yeah, that Tom Jones, covering an old John Lee Hooker song.



A cover is a song made popular by one artist performed (or "covered") by another. Tom Jones has made a career of covering other people's work and has done well. He's sung "The Tennessee Waltz" with The Chieftains and "Kiss" with Art of Noise among others.

Cover songs can be interesting. The CD I talked about in my previous posting has something I like to do from time to time when burning a disc, it opens with Steely Dan doing their original version of "King of the World" and ends with the Joe Jackson cover, sort of like book ends.

I actually have three versions of the Jimi Hendrix classic "Little Wing" and none of them are Jimi's version. How did that happen?

Not everyone can pull it off. Michael Bolton's "When a Man Loves a Woman" is a note for note copy of Percy Sledge's original, so who cares, there was no new ground covered. I love Joe Cocker, but his version of the Squeeze song "Tempted" is misguided.

Tom Jones has the knack.

So friends, with no further ado, Enjoy!

A Reflection on Music

Microsoft did one thing right with MediaPlayer, and that's song selection. Years ago, I used their filters, not ones I created, and took a batch of songs that I preferred to listen to at night frequently and took the best and put them on compact disc.

I call this disc "Night Music." Not coincidentally, "Night Music" is the name of a Joe Jackson disc. Go figure.

Some great moody music on this disc--Steely Dan, The Pogues, Sarah McLachlan, Concrete Blonde, Fiona Apple, Living Colour (covering an Al Greene song much less)--just to name a few.

Now, I lamented a few years ago that music just wasn't doing it for me anymore. "Rhapsody makes me blue" was one of my wittier laments.

Tonight, this is a great disc.

That could leave a mark...

According to "Show Biz Today" on Headline News and NBC's "The Today Show" Enrique Iglesias will fulfill his promise to water ski naked on Biscayne Bay because Spain won the World Cup.

It's all good fun until someone puts an eye out.

New York Yankees' Owner George Steinbrenner Dies at Age 80

Well, this may not mean much to many of you, but if you follow baseball at all, you know who "The Boss" is, and it's Steinbrenner. His son took over the day-to-day ownership of the Yanks a few years ago, but George is still "The Boss."

Sorry Bruce, you might be "The Boss" to the rest of the world, but in baseball, that title belonged to Steinbrenner.

I was just listening to ESPN Radio where the topic of discussion was "Who is now the most well known owner in sports?" There were some good answers:

• Al Davis, aka "Skeletor" and the owner of the Oakland Raiders of the NFL,
• Jerry Jones, owner of the NFL Dallas Cowboys and recently on HBO's "Entourage" (This little fact was used by different callers as both a plus and a minus.),
• Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks and reigning biggest mouth in sport
• Michael Jordan of the NBA Charlotte Bobcats but let's face it, his fame is from playing and not as an owner. In this discussion he gets an "Honorable Mention" before we go to the other contenders.

As for the other contenders, this is where the host said that nobody will replace Steinbrenner today. It's as simple as that. Truly, it has more to do with "The Boss" than it has to do with the competition and this isn't to say that one day one of these men won't take the throne, but today, the answer is still Steinbrenner, he is and for a while more will be "The Boss."

Who Is My Nieghbour?

Get the spelling? I'm hooking in with the Stones tune title.



This week's gospel reading the story of the Good Samaritan. So here's the big question this lesson asks, "Who's my neighbor?" Who indeed.

Let's just say that as for me with the new Arizona Immigration law, I'm waiting for the head of the Hopi and Navajo nations to enter the state house and send everyone without papers back to where they came from.

What, they were born in America? Well shoot, without identity papers I don't know if that matters.

Rule of law is one thing, but legalistic is quite another. The biggest problem with a legalistic society is when the rules get turned in ways that were never expected.

For the record...

At this moment in time and space, I feel it incumbent to make one fact perfectly clear. I'm fat. I'm not proud of this fact, per se, but denial is futile.

And now, for a sideways view of the obvious...

There has been recent debate about whether gay actors can portray straight characters or not.

Uh, hasn't this been the case in theater since the Greeks used masks? Hasn't it been this way since Shakespeare? Wasn't Rock Hudson the epitome of the Lady's Man?

Kids, let's untwist our knickers and go to the movies.

Curse of Babel/Joy of Pentecost

The curse of Babel is that humanity decided to "make a name for itself" (Genesis 11:4). The joy of the Pentecost is that God gave the world the words so that "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." (Acts 2:21)

It's as easy as that.

Perspective and Priorities

Today ESPN's award winning "Outside the Lines" documentary series did a piece on swim coaches who sexually abuse their young charges, some victims as young as ten years old.

Before the episode host Bob Ley said, "This report contains material of a sexual nature which some may find disturbing." By the way, I am sure this was worded very carefully by the ESPN legal department and not an off the cuff remark by the host.

I find two things about this statement disturbing:

1. So, what we may find disturbing is the sex but not the assault? I say it is a shame that our culture finds more distress about the sexual aspect of this issue than it does the assault aspect. We have become so dulled to violence that it doesn't even get a mention in the warning. Anyone who wants to comment that it is the whole issue, the full sexual assault issue, not simply the sex that is disturbing then I ask why did the warning only mention the sex and not the assault.


2. We are warned that we may find this disturbing. Shout it from the mountaintops people! In a time and place where sexual assault against youth by people in positions of trust and authority has become everyday, we must be disturbed by this report. I hope everyone who watches this wants to vomit because of the ghastly nature of these crimes.

Our priorities, and those of the ESPN legal department, seem to be more attached to the sexual aspect of the story than the perspective of the assault against young girls, and this needs to stop. Both are horrible, but we seem to have become numbed by the amount of violence we see everyday, it no longer disturbs us, this perspective must change.

Praise needs to go to the young girl in this story, a fifteen year old named Julia, who was able to bring to justice a man who had been assaulting girls for thirty-one years. Julia--you are a brave young woman, God be with you and your family.

Cudos to Bob Ley and the entire "Outside the Lines" staff. This is some of the best documentary and investigative journalism done on television bar none. Please follow this link and watch the report, but beware. The nature of these crimes against women should be disturbing, both for their sexual nature and for the violence against these young girls.

That's Why They Call It Statutory

This morning I saw the "Lawrence Taylor Sexual Assault Story" on ESPN. Let me just say this, if your defense is "Sure, I ordered a prostitute, but I ordered the full-grown model, not a junior " you don't have much of a defense at all.

Fact--LT got himself a prostitute and paid $300 for "the pleasure."
Fact--She was sixteen,
Fact--LT didn't know Fact #2 and wasn't told about Fact #2,
Fact--Intent doesn't matter. That's why they call it"statutory"!

The law makes this distinction: In most situations, minors aren't legally capable of making decisions for themselves. This is why minors can't sign contracts. This is why minors can't consent to sex. So by law, by statute, sexual intercourse with a minor is illegal. That's one of the ways we protect children in this society.

BTW, it makes me wonder this side legal point: If the girl is charged with prostitution and arraigned as an adult, does this make the "minor" point in LT's case moot? Can she be an adult in one sense and a minor in another sense in the same offense? Is it the same offense? That's for the courts to decide. Somewhere there is a 21st Century scribe and a pharisee discussing this on cable news right now.

One more time though, there is only one fool-proof way to prevent this issue: NO HOOKERS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!

Follow this link for the ESPN story and footage of the Lawrence Taylor sexual assault story.

Congress Shall Establish No Law...

Here's the most key phrase in the Bill of Rights, "Congress Shall Establish No Law..." By way of codes and interpretation, one of the many things this phrase has come to mean is that public any display of religious faith allowed on public lands must be similarly granted to all faiths.

Yes, I have an example...

This week, in conjunction with the National Day of Prayer, several churches in Berryville are reading the Holy Bible from cover to cover on the town square. Yes, the square is a publicly maintained piece of land.

Here's the rub...

Any faith based religious organization which asks to use the square cannot be denied similar access to the square.

Yes, I have an example...

If a mosque wanted to have a Qaran reading on the square, it cannot be denied out of hand because it's not our faith. This is the same if a synagogue wanted to hold a similar reading of the Torah on the square. Gotta church? Gotta holy book? Get the square.

Yes, I am a Presbyterian Minister, and I want us all to read scripture, particularly I am a fan of the Holy Bible (I'm an NRSV man and don't take stock of the apocrypha but to each his own.), but in this land of opportunity, in this land of equal access; we must be cautious because the doors we open cannot be closed so easily.

What's the difference between a fundamentalist Christian group and a fundamentalist Muslim group on the square? Nothing in the eyes of the law...and that's all our judges are allowed to use in making judgement. When the Congress, or the State, or the Quorum Court establishes and implements law for one, it must be for all.

Remember that great final line from the Pledge of Allegiance: Liberty and justice for all.

As hard as this can be to swallow, this includes unpopular points of view too.

Incendiary Rhetoric

So this is why I have quit watching the news...

A Caucasian woman on FoxNews the other day said that if she were in Arizona and if she were asked, she would be proud to produce documents that proved she was a citizen of these United States. Of course...

1. She would never be asked for her papers, she's lily white, and
2. What would she produce?

This is my question...What document would she produce? Drivers licence? Social Security Card? In America, citizens don't have to carry citizenship papers. We don't! If you don't want to drive, you don't have to carry photo identification. Sure, it's easier to get beer if you have an ID, but you don't have to carry ID and you don't have to buy beer.

Does this mean that in Arizona having a lack of papers is cause for suspicion?

I get it. The issues with immigration are many and complex. Aliens, whether in this country legally or not, take jobs from Americans and jobs that no American (read: Anglo) wants to take. Pretty much everything in this world is more complex than a segment on a talk radio or cable news show.

The problem with nearly every issue in our country today is not so much the foundational issue, it's the rhetoric used to deify and vilify. We are a nation that is heading toward a place where ration is being replaced by reaction.

Thank God that at this moment, there are enough people in each camp that one is not in a position to completely annihilate the other, because if that were true then the opening of "reeducation camps" would not be far away.

If you think I'm crazy, what about the talk of "liberal-left-wing-media" as a form of reeducation. What about local "Tea Parties" and before that "Rush's Bake Sale" to reeducate. Both of these groups are well meaning (GOD let them be well meaning), but there is no longer room for middle ground when the rhetoric is hotter than the surface of the sun.

Remember, it's all good fun until the Hopi busts someone in Arizona and ships them back to England.