Pastor Paul's August 30 Newsletter Article

Here's my article for the August 30 Federated Flash

Pastor Paul’s Letter to the Church at Weatherford

I must have discovered the music of Jim Croce the day he died; but when I did, it was with a vengeance. One of my favorites is from his last album, released a little more than two months after his death. The song is called “Recently” and warns about having a long memory. The bridge and last verse go like this:

'Cause mem'ries can be friends
Or they can take you to a place
The you never thought you'd be again
And take you to a place
That you never ever thought
That you would see again

Doesn't matter now who was wrong
The future is tomorrow 'cause the past is gone
And I'm findin' that I'm not as strong
As I thought that I used to be
'Cause recently it seems
I've been lettin' your mem'ry get to me

Remembering the future is nice, but when our memories get to us, it hurts our ability to live in the present. The Church (Capital “C” Church) is getting itself into trouble, it’s letting its mem’ries get the better of it. The Church, like so much of America, likes to remember “The Good Ol’ Days.” Those days when everything was better and we were on top and things were the way “they were supposed to be.” There are two problems with this though. The first is that nostalgia is always better than the real thing. The second is like the first, were the good times really that good?

As for the church, these were the days when women couldn’t hold congregational or denominational leadership roles. These were the days when children were herded and not seen, wait, that’s seen and not heard. If you weren’t wearing a suit or a dress, you were seated in the back. If your skin was the “wrong” color, you wouldn’t be seated at all.

Those days are gone, thanks be to God! So here’s our problem, when we mourn the past, we leave no room for the future. When we let our memories get to us, we choke the ability to live in the present. Neither of these will do.

Matthew’s gospel teaches Jesus saying, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6:25-27)

I’m not saying “don’t worry, be happy,” I’m saying there’s work to do in the Kingdom of God and we are called to do it. If we sing laments about the past all day long it won’t be long before that’s all we know. Share those memories, remember the Saints fondly, but if we do not train the next generation of Saints up then we will leave a church that is dedicated to the dead when it should be pointing to the Living God. So ask a question! Take someone under your wing! There is no such thing as a stupid question, only answers that give glory to God… or not… and remember, today’s youth are going to be leaders before we know it.

See you in Worship, Paul

Pastor Paul's Federated Flash Newsletter Article

I've been thinking of violence, shooting, U2, Don Henley, Greg Abbot, Exodus, Deuteronomy, and Jesus lately. Yes, my mind is a messy, messy place. God bless my dear friends. Here's this week's newsletter article for the Federated Flash.

Dear Friends in Christ,

There are so many days lately when I want to hang my head and cry. On Sunday at about 11:00 I prayed for First Responders. I prayed “for police and military. For those who stand in harm’s way and say ‘not on my watch.’” I said this not knowing that a half hour earlier, just as I asked us to remember our baptism, police in Baton Rouge were being met with a hail of bullets. How many times must we pray for victims of violence? Pray for police who are victims of people who deem the police their enemies? Pray for civilians who are victims of police run amok?

Friends, most of the people in our society are good law abiding people, police and civilians alike. Nearly all really. But the people on the fringe are getting the attention for the evil they wrought. My father was a photographer for the newspaper in Columbia, Missouri when I was born, even in the early Sixty’s it was true, “If it bleeds, it leads.” People love dirty laundry, especially other people’s.

Where it must start for us is the beginning. Texas governor Greg Abbot said last week that we need to revere the police. I say nay, nay. The first Commandment says clearly, “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me.” To revere anything else, especially anything else is idolatry. To revere anybody or anything, to treat them like a god is to indulge them like a god and invite them becoming gods in their own eyes. Gods whose own importance is placed above all things.

Instead, let us pray one of the oldest prayers of humanity. Called the Schema, it goes like this, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” Schema is the Hebrew word for “hear.” What follows this at Deuteronomy 6:5 is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” If we do this, we cannot go wrong. Jesus has even told us there is no law against this.

This is the beginning. This is where we must start.

See you in Church, Paul

Pastor Paul's July 12 Federated Flash Article

Dear Friends in Christ,

Chris Baker is a student at Garrett Evangelical Seminary in Louisville. He wrote this for his Facebook page and it is currently making the rounds on the interwebs. I haven’t found anyone who has said this in such a sound theological manner so instead of trying, I will use his words. To clarify, derailment is the act of using a counterargument or counter assertion to derail a conversation from the original point:

I saw yet another ‪#‎AllLivesMatter‬ derailment this morning, and it made me want to scream. Or, rather, it made me want to scream this: 

‬‬
When, in the Beatitudes, Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor," you don't shout "Everyone's blessed!" When Jesus says "Blessed are the hungry," you don't shout "Everyone's blessed!" When Jesus says, "Blessed are those who mourn," you don't shout "Everyone's blessed!" You don't, I hope, because you understand that Jesus declares these people blessed precisely because they never have been. Their society never blessed them. The proverbial powers that be never blessed them. Their neighbors never blessed them. No one blessed them. No one considered them blessed, worthy of blessing. Their lives, in other words, never mattered.

I hope, too, that you understand what happens next in the Gospel of Luke. The blessings are followed by curses. Woe to the rich, who have enriched themselves at the expense of the poor. Woe to the full, who have engorged themselves at the expense of the hungry. Woe to those who are laughing now, in the face of the grief and misery of others. Jesus has flipped the script. Out is in. In is out. Down is up. Up is down. And ‪#‎BlackLivesMatter‬ precisely because they haven't, and in your derailment they still don't. Biblically and theologically speaking, that's some dangerous ground you're occupying.

Now for what he doesn’t say, all lives don’t matter. He’s saying that according to the Gospel of Luke, the powerless will be blessed and those who benefit at the expense of those who are oppressed, woe unto them. Ready for the big curse, if that includes some police, if that includes some politicians, if that includes some corporations (who are “persons” under the law) then so be it. Woe unto them.

I hate to bring up the Jackson 5 here, but this is the problem of “one bad apple.” Sometimes all it takes is one person to cause a broad brush to be used. It’s one of the greatest horrors, but it’s true. Pastors understand this too. With sexual abuse, financial abuse, and other abuses of power I can be suspect.

In the Beatitudes, Jesus blesses those who have never been blessed. Those who have blessed themselves, well, woe unto them. I thank God for the Messiah who has blessed us so that we may be a blessing.

I am not here to curse woes unto people who have done well. The nation of Israel was blessed to be a blessing. Through Jesus of Nazareth, the Messiah, the Christ, we have been grafted into that vine. We have been blessed, but if we are not a blessing then Christ will ask what we have done with our blessing. This is a question worth asking. This is what our society needs to ask.

Oh, and maybe when the people who have not been blessed are, that will be a blessing to all people.

See you in Church, Paul

We pray for police, military, and all others who voluntarily put themselves in harm’s way in service to others.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

John 15:13

Remembering Our Baptism-Pastor Paul's July 5 Newsletter

Dear Friends in Christ,

Not the first time this picture has appeared

on this blog!

I’m guessing you have wondered why I spend so much time talking about the waters of our baptism. You’d have a point. I do spend a lot of time in the water. With the permission of the Worship Committee I have moved the font front and center. Looking down the aisle you see the font then the table then the cross as you enter the sanctuary. I want the kids to splash in the water, whether they have been baptized or not. Especially the ones who have yet to be baptized.

This is the stole I wear every Sunday in Ordinary Time. Those are the weeks between Baptism of the Lord Sunday and Transfiguration Sunday and between Trinity Sunday and Christ the King Sunday. It bears symbols of the two sacraments. On the left is the font symbolizing baptism and on the right is a chalice symbolizing the supper. It was a gift that I was asked to design. I asked for this design so that most of the year I would be able to wear the symbols of the sacramental gifts Jesus gave us.

One of the great joys of serving The Federated Church is weekly celebration of The Lord’s Supper. The congregations I previously served did not, one was downright hostile to celebrating it more than monthly. I think it is important to celebrate this meal often. I’m glad you do too. But what about our baptism?

Baptism is a once in a lifetime event. I have told you I was about four or five months old when I was baptized. I have no means to remember it. In Presbyterian circles this is fine. I like what it says too. It reminds us that God chooses us before we choose God. I like that. I like the UCC and Disciples believer’s baptism too. It says I know what I’m doing. I make this decision. That’s glorious too.

Either way, remembering our baptism is important. This is why I pour the pitcher into the font weekly. This is why we are reminded of the event whether it has happened or is yet to happen. So let us remember the waters of our baptism. Let’s remember what it is like to live wet. Let’s remember what it is like to live a little sloppy. Let’s remember what it is like to bathe in the waters Jesus bathed in before we receive the meal he gave us.

See you in Church!
Pastor Paul

Public Faith and Tim Tebow

I have never posted anything about Tim Tebow as a collegiate, professional, or post-professional human being. Today I felt it was about time because of what I read from the Orlando Sentinel on msn.com.
The article titled "Tebow Hate Reaches New Low" deals with his recent plane trip from Atlanta to Phoenix where he comforted a woman and her friend with prayer as her husband laid dying from a heart attack on a Delta flight. Really that's the whole story. All you need to add it the heroic action of the Delta flight crew as they tried to resuscitate the man. Add too Tebow taking the woman and her friend in the car waiting for him to the hospital and waiting until the doctor gave her the bad news.

The author of the Sentinel article, Dan Whitley, said he was reading the comments about how Tim Tebow had reacted and what he had done. They were about 60% positive and about 40% negative. The 40% were telling the world (via the Interwebs) how Tim Tebow imposed himself upon a situation and put himself in the way of a heroic rescue by a Delta flight crew causing readers to become physically ill, a condition the author calls "Tebow Derangement Syndrome."

Well, no, he didn't get in the way. If he had the flight crew or a Federal Marshall would have put him back in his seat. Second, the woman could have sent "Ol' Time Religion Timmy" back to his seat if she were so inclined, she did not. Finally, if Tim Tebow was a media whore, he would be exploiting this, not me.

I think what Dan Whitley says about commenters says it quite well:

If all that makes you want to throw up, it says a lot more about you than it does Tim Tebow.

.Public faith is a dicey thing, for believers and non-believers alike. For the devout of either ilk it really doesn't matter though. Non-believers are just fine being the 40% trolling articles saying prayer is worthless, the man died anyway. What the non-believers don't know is the comfort Mr. Tebow brought to the widow. Nor the help he gave putting his faith into action by taking care of the luggage and taking the woman and her friend to the hospital.

His quiet departure also speaks volumes. He didn't even offer up the good old,"Hey, this is a difficult time, give them a little space and I've got a try-out with the Cardinals (or whatever he was doing in Phoenix--I have no idea what he was doing in Arizona)."

Never been a real fan, but never been a real detractor either. Heisman Trophy winners just never seem to translate into the pros, so, oh well. My opinion of this, he had the faith and the confidence in his faith to do something and the resources to do a little more than that. Isn't that what we want professional athletes to do? Isn't that what we want men to do?

Pastor Paul's June 28 Newsletter

Dear Friends in Christ,

On Sunday, I consecrated the new pitcher that is used to put water into the font on Sunday mornings. During the Children’s Sermon I taught them what consecrated means. The Oxford Dictionary defines consecrated this way: make or declare (something, typically a church) sacred; dedicate formally to a religious or divine purpose.

By now you know that I love words. But as a word lover I know that often words become jargon. The last thing I want to do is load worship with jargon to the point that I’m glorified instead of our Lord Jesus. Oh my, look at the pastor using those wonderful words again… That can be said with dripping sarcasm or not, neither way brings glory to God.

Yes, we sanctified that pitcher. It was made holy. All that means is the pitcher was set aside for water for the font. It won’t ever be used for iced tea, or whatever its previous use, ever again. That’s all. So much for $5.00 words.

In fact, through God in Christ, in the waters of our baptism, we have all been made for a holy purpose, to be the people of God. We have been called to be a blessing to the people of Weatherford, Oklahoma, America, and the world. We can only do this through the Spirit who strengthens us.

In worship we recharge those batteries. We remember our baptism, the water we shared with Jesus. We are fed by Jesus at the table he set for all believers. We are nourished by his word heard and shared. Let’s worship God together this Sunday!

In Christ, Paul

Word and Sacrament

This picture was taken on a lovely, sunny Oklahoma afternoon. The way the light explodes through the rose window into a spray of colors delights and amazes me. Earlier in the week, the Worship Committee and the Board of the Federated Church in Weatherford approved the move of this baptismal font from under the pulpit (not pictured, but on the left in this picture) to this place where it will be seen by all who come to worship.

There is something else wonderfully special about this font, specifically the stand. Under the runner is a small plaque noting that this is not a font stand, this is the original pulpit.

The Federated Church was founded in 1901 as a United Church of Christ congregation. Years later, the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) entered into communion forming the Federation and later the Presbyterian Church (USA) joined the Federation.

Of course, the UCC and DOC Churches baptize by immersion. That main baptistery is in the basement of the building. While Presbyterians can celebrate baptism by immersion, it is not usually done that way, thus the font.

Not so long ago, Presbyterian Ministers were called "Ministers of Word and Sacrament" (forgive us, we Presby's get a little wordy), we now call our pastors "Teaching Elders." When I was told that the font sets upon the original pulpit, I thought how glorious it was that this congregation brings these symbols of Word and Sacrament together so wonderfully and so gloriously. It makes me wonder if someone created this symbolic symbiosis intentionally.

Either way, it is glorious. The late Rev. Dr. Stan Hall, Professor of Worship and Liturgics at Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary would be delighted.

Confessing Sin

I'm working on a sermon to be shared in Dallas in a couple of Sundays. It has taken a new shape since I began. So these paragraphs are irrelevant. Still, they belong somewhere in the world and the Fat Man is just that place.

Yet if there is one thing some Christians have overextended, it’s confessing the sins of others and calling for them to repent. Forgive me if I make it sound like it’s something new because it’s not. It’s as old as the Book of Acts and the Council of Jerusalem. It’s even older than that.

Scripture reminds me that if I say I am without sin I am fooling myself. 1John 8-9 says “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” It never says what will come to pass if I confess somebody else’s sin. 

John 8 actually tells that story. It tells the story of the crowd of holy men bring the adulterous woman to Jesus he reminds them that they have no room to judge her, asking the one without sin to cast the first stone. That piece ends as the one without sin refuses to cast a stone. He calls her to repentance. Holy men call her to judgment and death, without calling her adulterous partner to any judgment at all. Jesus calls her to repentance and new life.

Am I talking about wedding cakes and pizzas, not really. Those are just the fruit of that sinful spirit (a spirit even I am not immune from based on this very sentence). Let us confess our own sins. Let us love as Christ loved us. When we do that I suspect the small stuff will begin to take care of itself.

Liturgies, Old and New?

Today Christians celebrate the Pascha, Easter, the celebration of the resurrection. God came to Earth as a man. Known as Jesus of Nazareth he was, is, was forever and forevermore will be the Messiah, the Christ, the Anointed of God.

Today as we worship we share the ancient liturgical greeting of the church--

He is risen.
He is risen, indeed. 

Unfortunately, for many in America this liturgy is being replaced with:

Now first a word on the word "liturgy." In the church today the word means the call and response between a pastor or worship leader and the congregation. This is unfortunate. What the word--the actual word--means is "Work of the people." Liturgy is work. Liturgy is how we live as Christians. Liturgy is how we show ourselves to the world.

There has been a lot of news lately about states and individuals that "choose not to cater" (my wording) to others for one reason or another.  Sexuality is the vogue right now. Bakeries, florists, and pizza parlors are the flavor of the day. This whole issue may be limited to a very few people, but the tempest suggests a hurricane.

And all Christians are being painted with the same brush, "No soup for you."

This does not sound scriptural to me.

According to Matthew's gospel it is written--

When the Pharisees heard that he (Jesus) had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:34-40)

While on Earth, Jesus the Christ, Joshua the Messiah confirms the greatest commandment of them all. It is to love God and love one another. That is the GREATEST COMMANDMENT! I just don't see how  "No soup for you" fits into loving God and one another.

God does not have to be defended. Let me say that again--God does not have to be defended. Today we testify God conquered death. Death. If God can conquer death what we throw in his face won't demand his "A game." Sin offends God, but after conquering death what we've got is small potatoes.

In this space I have recently said "Maybe it's time we get back to the basics of love." Nothing can be more basic than this, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

We will never demonstrate our love crying "No soup for you."

BUT BE WARNED, there is another injunction from scripture which we had better be wary of as well. This from Luke 18:

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14)

That whole "Pride goes before the fall" thing? Yeah, it's scriptural. Let us not rejoice that "we're not sinners like them." That's bad form.

Instead this Easter, let us rejoice, "He is risen, He is risen indeed." Now let's go out there and live and love one another like Jesus did. If we do not then what did he die for?

Black Friday into Good Friday

I've been doing a lot of reflection during this Lenten season. That's not all bad, after all, that's one of the goals of Lent. Here's what I know. It has been a rough five years or so.

I won't continue to bore you with the foils of life, just a quick update on the latest. On Labor Day I began a "career" in insurance. I went to work for Bankers Life. SIDE NOTE: Great company, great products, great local agents (speaking for my former co-workers). If you need insurance in East Texas these are the professionals to speak with. They will make an appointment with you, come to your house or business, and get you set up. As for me, well, I couldn't get it to work. I had one good month out of six. My boss tells everyone to give it six months to see if the business is for you and I did. And it wasn't.

God love 'em, but I couldn't make sales to save my life. Getting appointments was difficult. Getting people to be home for their appointments seemed to be even harder. And if you don't talk to people making sales is not going to happen. So I went back to where I was before that, Motel 6 welcomed me home with open arms.

By now some of you are saying, "Don't you say you're a minister in the sidebar of this blog? What's up with that?" Well, that's a long story for another day but let me say the people of First Marshall, my last called appointment, decided to quit meeting together. With that went pay, housing, insurance and so on. There are other blog posts which show my tenuous grasp on mental health went to the other side of the hedge during these last two years. It got to the point that a year ago I had serious doubts that serving another church was in my future. It felt like the church was done with me.

WARNING, DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying God is done with me. I'm saying I thought the humans who call pastors to churches are done with me.

Well praise God, that season in the wilderness is beginning to pass. I don't feel that way any longer. A year or so ago my Spiritual Director looked at me one day and said, "You know, with all of this horrible, even satanic opposition you're facing; when God comes in Glory there's going to be some kind of joy." In the midst of Black Friday this was a pipe dream. On Good Friday this is my hope.

I'm working and getting paid everyday, something commissioned sales can't promise. While we're about to lose where we're staying-for the third time in 18 months-we have a place to go. AND there is a wonderful congregation of people who are praying for me to be their pastor and they don't even know who they are. (AND there's a church checking my references which is VERY, VERY exciting. I won't share more than that to protect their place in their process.)

I want to leave you one thought, one reflection. Join me on that first Black Friday. Imagine being a disciple, an apostle, a follower; now imagine the events of the prior day... There's the triumphal entry into Jerusalem, what we call Palm Sunday. There's the final meal and instructions--what we now call the Last Supper, the Lord's Supper, the Holy Communion, the Eucharist. Then sleep falls on the weary only to be awakened by the sounds of a unit of Legionaries being led by one of their own to arrest the Messiah.

Oh, the trial, Pilate's question "What is truth?" rings in your ears. Jesus is alone, there's nobody with him as his advocate. He is convicted and sentenced. He will die and die horribly. We know that the only earthly difference between us and him is we are not in the hands of Rome, not yet.

Jesus cries, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" The Son of God is fully separated from God. We can't imagine this level of separation even on our worst days. Still, there's more to come and the horror of what that will be brings fear to paralysis. This is the state of Black Friday before the resurrection. The followers of the way don't know what will happen on that day. They're so afraid scripture doesn't even show them wondering. They simply scatter. Contemplation is a luxury when you fear for your life.

But we know this, we know Easter. We know what was Black Friday only once will forever be Good Friday. Today, reflect on the blackness, but rejoice that as the Easter people we know that the Light conquers the dark.

Updating the Pastor Information Form

I decided it was time to do some updating on my Pastor Information Form. For those of you who are indoctrinated to such things, Presbyterians call it a PIF for short. For those of you who aren't, think of it as a kind of Presbyterian version of a Minister's resume.

In the past few years there have been some revisions to the form and format. One of the things that was removed is a section formerly known as Key Theological Issues. This is where the Pastoral Candidate defines, explains, or dances around an issue in 1,500 characters or less. (Gotta love forms, but when a church gets several hundred PIF's for a single ministerial opportunity you can imagine they might hope people can get it down to 500.)

I decided to redo my "Key Theological Issue" section, with the song lyric it comes to a bit more than the basic 1,500 characters. I do believe this is an important issue and I hope you can see where I'm coming from.

In a time when knowledge is expanding exponentially and when the speed of communication threatens to overwhelm the message, I see the key theological issue of our time to be something Texans call the Gospel of Luckenbach, maybe it's time we get back to the basics of love.

For those of you who don't know the chorus, it goes like this:

Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love

Let's go to Luckenbach, Texas
With Waylon and Willie and the boys
This successful life we're livin'
Got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCoys
Between Hank Williams' pain songs and
Newberry's train songs and Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain
Out in Luckenbach, Texas ain't nobody feelin' no pain

 ("Luckenbach, Texas (Back to the Basics of Love) by Chips Moman and Bobby Emmons. As for “feelin' no pain,” I would propose that in the church that should have more to do with joy in the outstretched arms of God than one too many Shiner Bock's.)

For the church this is our first love, God.

As Presbyterians we have a long tradition of seeking guidance from our three sources of governance, in order: Holy Scripture, the Book of Confessions, and the Book of Order. Unfortunately too often we tend to move from Grace to Law, from the Living Torah to the Book of Order. Jesus did not teach divorce or define marriage. He demonstrated love and taught us to love God and neighbor. When others tried to force Jesus into constructs like government and taxes, he shows that the Lord God is not bound by such. As people try to force God to be one way, the Triune God-Father, Son, and Spirit-shows The Way.

The issue of our time is that we must seek and follow God's mysterious and gracious way. God never acts out of character but always in sovereignty. God moves in ways that we can't often anticipate and less frequently understand. Jesus ministered to and with those on the society’s fringe, including Zealots and Roman collaborators; lepers and harlots. Yet to be the Body of Christ the church must seek and follow-especially when this direction takes us from our comfortable places. The church must start again. God is love, and it's time we get back to the basics of love.

To God be the Glory. Amen

Jesus Wept, Lazarus Laughed, Megan Died, and as for me...

This Sunday's lectionary reading was the raising of Lazarus from the dead. This passage has many wonderful pieces and images, but the most famous is found in the King James Bible at John 11:35. You know it too, "Jesus wept."

Pastor Kemper Huber at St. Andrew Presbyterian Church in Longview, Texas preached a wonderful sermon using the Eugene O'Neill play "Lazarus Laughed". The link provides a synopsis of the show, but here are some highlights from the sermon:

• Lazarus returned
• People asked what it was like to have died
• Lazarus laughed
• He told them death was like life, but fuller, more bountiful
• He continued to laugh.

That became the hallmark of the show, Lazarus laughed in the face of all danger. He had died, what could scare him next? Nothing! In the face of overwhelming odds, in the face of certain death; there was nothing to worry about anymore. This caught on in the household of Lazarus and all throughout Bethany. "Death, where is thy sting?" Yeah, it's all gone.

This wouldn't do for the Roman Prelate. When death and fear of death are your weapons and suddenly there is no more fear of death, your biggest weapon is gone. Lazarus was sent to Rome to go before Caesar.Caesar threatened to have Lazarus killed. You can guess what happened next. Caesar burned Lazarus at the stake. You know what happened the whole time. The show ends with the "most important man in the world" bested by a laughing Jew.

Jesus wept, Lazarus laughed.

Kemper tied the theme of the show, Lazarus laughing at death with Jesus telling the world "Fear not." Christ conquered death. Lazarus shows us in John 11 and Eugene O'Niell shows us in the dramatized version of what happened next. In all of these situations, death is powerless. Christ saves us from mundane death. It's gone, hallelujah!

There was one problem with this. I have a the problem with the sermon, and a problem with the show. It's not a problem with Kemper's theology or even with the play, it's a problem with sin.

There is (at least in some circles) fate worse than death. There are times in the life of some people when "it" (whatever "it" may be) becomes so overwhelming that these people see the sweet release of death preferable to the cold hard existence of life. The people who say "Life's a bitch and then you die," yeah, those people.

Some people decide to get off the train early. The ones who get off before the final stop commit suicide. Death, the bountiful life after this painful life is so very seductive.

Jesus wept, Lazarus laughed, Megan died.

Those of you who have followed this blog know who Megan is. If you don't this link tells more about her and about a much younger me. I remember wondering how horrible Megan felt that she would take her own life. I gave thanks that I never felt that way and prayed I never would. Then six months ago, my world fell apart and I had an idea of how bad she felt. I did not want to feel like I felt another day, another minute, another moment. I knew this was a permanent solution. For those who would add "to a temporary problem," I would invite you to "enjoy the freefall" and tell me it doesn't seem like an idea worth considering.

This is the suicide issue when it comes to the "bountiful life" of death, it's seductive. The pain of life, pain which is too much to carry, is gone. All that's left is new life. Laughter. Yes, Jesus weeps, but Lazarus laughs. It's not healthy. It's not right. It's pretty bad for everyone left behind... but that guilt trip isn't your problem.

While considering all of this another Bible story came to mind, Job. Job's wife, after witnessing the calamity of their life together, suffering the same losses except for the physical boils, finally said "Curse God and die." She told him to commit suicide by use of the Lord. But Job was faithful.

Job's wife chose the sweet release of death for her husband. Job chose a  life to a faithful God despite the horrors of the moment.

Jesus wept, Lazarus laughed, Megan died, and as for me...

As for me, I've gotten a better medical diagnosis. I'm working hard to stay healthy. I'm eating better, exercising and working. I see a counselor and I see a Psychiatrist. I do the medical therapy and I do the talk therapy. I have good days and bad days. I have more good days and my bad days aren't anywhere as bad as they were even six months ago.

Life is far from perfect, but it is better than it was a year ago, far better. Getting better is a process, getting well is a dream, maybe even a pipe dream. Better is a goal. And I do all of this praising my savior who makes it all possible.

Jesus wept, Lazarus laughed, Megan died, and as for me... I am a better man than I was before I knew all of these things. Praise God!

Reflections on Ash Wednesday

Last night, the Interim Pastor at St. Andrew Presbyterian Church asked if I would assist with the imposition of ashes at the Ash Wednesday service. It wasn't the first time. For the past ten years I have made the sign of the cross with palm ash and said "From ashes you came and to ashes you will return." Not very cheery, but coming straight out of Genesis 3:19, where the Lord teaches Adam and Eve the fallout of the fall, it's at least the truth. But this year, the interim pastor asked me to add something I never said before.

This year, as before imposing the ashes, I said "You are a child of God." The amazing power of these words are two fold. First is their utter truth. There is nothing false in these words. From Adam and Eve to the newest of all newborns, we are all children of God. This is the plain and simple truth. Second is how rarely this is said. How would our live improve if we looked at people we had disagreements with and said, "You are a child of God?" Imagine cable news if at commercial these words were exchanged between pundits? Imagine fights between parents or parents and children if we began with saying "You are a child of God."

Then remember, Adam and Eve were shut out of the garden. Discipline happens. Yet as discipline happens it happens with love and without scorn or anger or abuse. It comes measured and with love. Yes, from ashes we came and to ashes we will return, but in between--and in every moment that we are more than just the elements in an Organic Chemistry experiment--we are children of God.

Pastor Kemper Huber at St. Andrew spoke on mortality and preparation, and it made me think. It made me think on the ones I know who have left before me. Some left in old age. Some left in tragic accidents. Some left in disease before their time. Others left on their own accord. It was those I spent the most time thinking about that evening because of my thoughts on joining their ranks several months ago.

This is where I am, glad that I am so much better. I thank God for a wonderful wife, good counseling, great medicine, and the loving Lord whose child I am. Yes, I am mortal, but I'm in no rush. There is much to do on this side of the dirt. One day I will return to ash--but on every day before that and on every day after I am a child of God.

Thank the Lord.

The Relaunch of "Rock and Roll Devotional"

I am happy, overjoyed to announce the relaunch of Rock and Roll Devotional.

It's a blog I started about five or so years ago. Over the years I have had at it in fits and starts. To date, I have about 250 posts written, so I need only about another 115 more to complete the year. Over the past week or so I have actually written four new posts to debut over the year. Some will make an appearance soon, one will debut Christmas Eve!

Another important addition is that this is the first time I will update the blog since my new diagnosis. It will be a chance to compare how I wrote before my new diagnosis and now. You may not notice the difference because you may not remember the older posts... as for me, well I'll see the old and the new; and it excites me.

So, I hope you take the time to check it out. The updates are scheduled to come online at 12:30 Central Time daily. If you like it, take the time to make a note. If you don't take the time to make a note, because that's the only way I can make it better.

If you like it, please click your favorite share button on the social media site of your choice.

God bless y'all, and enjoy!

RefuJesus-The Commentary

There's an old saying, if at first you don't succeed... I put it to the test today at Broadmoor Presbyterian Church in Shreveport. The sermon I preached today, "RefuJesus" is a version 2.0. I preached it three years ago at First-Marshall after having learned several lessons. Let me tell you what I learned and what I changed.

This time, I was certain to tell the congregation in no uncertain terms that this concept, the refugee status of Jesus and the Holy Family in Egypt was new to me too. At least twice I said this was new, different, and not the most orthodox way of looking at the flight to Egypt. I also mentioned it was still biblical.

By the way, as a version 2.0 I was not being dishonest saying this was new because the first time it was new and it did freak me out as much as it did and should freak out anybody who read this for the first time. I was sharing my honest first impressions.

The reader and listener will also notice that when I gave my version of the Nativity/Wise Man/First Part of Today's Reading, I used some emotionally charged language. I did this because I wanted people to react to the word of God and how it would look if it were happening today. I wanted us to be uncomfortable.

And that's why I used the Fosdick quote: "The purpose of the gospel is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."

In short, I don't think the purpose of the gospel is to always make us feel better about ourselves. But I do believe that it should always make us know that our hope is in the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ. It's not in our stuff. It's not in our skill. It's in our Lord.

That's the purpose behind sharing the Isaiah quote. Isaiah was sharing a reflection of God's mercy remembered while foreshadowing the work of Christ to come. How great is that?

In the end, there seemed to be two reactions. Those who said it was nice to have me back and those who said they really, really loved the sermon. I must admit, when a pastor lays it all out, and in my opinion that sermon is a one not everyone is ready (or maybe even willing?) to hear (can I refer you back to the congregation that heard a lesser version?).

But then again, Preaching and Worship professors constantly reminded us that the pulpit should always be approached with fear and trepidation. Yet, it should always be approached in the confidence of Christ.

There is no better tightrope in the world. Thanks to the good people of Broadmoor Presbyterian for walking it with me this morning. Thank you and God bless.

Merry Christmas All Y'all

You know, I'll say something about being in recovery with being Bipolar, I'm much cheerier. Marie just told me that it's the Cheerios I'm eating. I must admit, it's better than all of the depression I've been spewing.

So here's something for Marie. She hates it when I call her "baby," but what about when The Boss does it?



This is the day that we celebrate the day of the birth of our Savior. This is the day we welcome Emmanuel, God with us. This is the day the physical presence of God came into our world in the least powerful way of any being, a baby. God's presence can come in any way, but God chose to come powerless, from the womb of a virgin, in a cave in what we call a manger. Danger surrounded him. His being was anything but secure. And He is God. In this moment, the greatest story ever told begins. So Merry Christmas one and all.

So now to the world let me say God bless, and may the coming year be a joyful and glorious year for all of us.

Faith and Mental Health

Earlier this week I met with my spiritual director. He said that he read my mental health blog. I asked him what he thought of it. He asked why there was not mention of God. I was struck dumb. It took a moment to come up with the answer "That blog was a clinical approach to my illness and hospitalization." It was quickly followed by, "Now I need to write the spiritual side."

Here's the single most important thing I went into the hospital knowing. I have hope in the Lord our God. Eight words, that's what I got. Let me elaborate.

I had been unemployed for over ten months, and stretched five months of severance over six and a half months. I didn't know how we were going to pay for our insurance, and money literally arrived on the porch. We got kicked out of where we were living, and another place opened up.

Was I thankful for God? Yes I was. Every day. At the same time I was so miserable I couldn't add one and one without consulting an accountant.

Marie was sick some days and on other days not quite so sick. In the meantime she did everything she could to keep me from falling apart and moving forward--pack boxes, prepare my Pastor Information Form, revise my resume, go to the store, yada, yada, yada.

Was I thankful for her. Yes I was. Every day. Did I show it? Certainly not well. I showed annoyance pretty well though. (Did I mention I was sick? Depression is insidious. I didn't know how big of a jerk being bipolar made me, only she does.)

If there's any good news; the self medication I gave up twenty-some years ago stayed in my bag of tricks not to come out.

My world crumbled around me and the only ideas I had were really, really bad ones. I was able by the grace of God to hold on until I got to my counselor's office. She got me into the hospital in Shreveport.

Now, if you have ever been in counseling for depression, you have probably heard this question: "Do you feel helpless and hopeless?" I've heard that question a million times, and I finally heard it properly and finally answered it aloud in the most accurate way for me.

I said, "I feel helpless. But I don't feel hopeless. In my faith I have hope. I have hope in the Lord my God."

How many times have I read David's Psalms of Lament? How many times have I read about the plight of Joseph? How many times have I read the Exodus story (and how many times has that story been adopted as a model for oppressed people all over the world)? How is there anything but hope in the cross and the resurrection?

Now, that my head is clear, I see that hope far more clearly too. I see now that hope is meant for me. I see that it is present in my life. I can even more clearly see those who are willing to help... those with whom God has blessed me in this life.

It's funny to say what I have now is a new life in Christ, but it truly is. Like everyone else I have had ups and downs, some of those downs pretty deep. Like anyone else who has depression my downs have real depth. In each of those times I have thanked God for saving me, for bringing me back. This time though it's different. I thought I had been broken before but I have never known brokenness like this. Oh, I thought I had, but it wasn't even even close.

Now, about two months later, the healing has begun. To date I feel great, literally never better. I have never been more clear. For that I thank God. In my fresh clarity I thank God for Marie, I thank God for all of the clinical help I have received. I truly thank God for all of our friends. We have gotten help, in financial, housing, other tangible, and especially prayer support from our friends from coast to coast. It's not that there are too many to list, but many have given anonymously and I honor that. Just know I will not forget.

Yes, some days will be better than others. Yes, I will have to be aware about how my meds are working because they may not always. I don't want to be unrealistic. At the same time I don't want to look under every rock for a rattlesnake just because I saw it happen once. I just have to pay attention to the sound of the rattle as I walk the path of life.

That is why I have hope in the Lord our God. Saved by the life and work, death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ, indwelled by the Holy Spirit. By the grace of God I say Amen

Heroes of the Faith

People often wonder which person in the bible they most resemble. The most assertive of us pick Paul or Deborah. Some of us who are good disciples who are also known to say the wrong thing from time to time pick Peter.

As for me, I'm a lot like this guy from Mark's gospel...

When the whole crowd saw him, they were immediately overcome with awe, and they ran forward to greet him. He asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?” Someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought you my son; he has a spirit that makes him unable to speak; and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down; and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid; and I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.” He answered them, “You faithless generation, how much longer must I be among you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. When the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. It has often cast him into the fire and into the water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.” Jesus said to him, “If you are able!—All things can be done for the one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:15-24, NRSV)

Those of you who know scripture know Jesus healed the boy, telling his disciples that to banish this spirit requires prayer. Those of you who didn't, well, spoiler alert.

What I love about this man is his honesty, "I believe; help my unbelief!" He knows who Jesus is and he knows what can happen when Emmanuel, God with us, is with us. Still, the things he has seen in his life cause him not to believe.

I know how he feels.

In seminary, they teach us something important about the kingdom of God, it is happening now, and it's not happening yet. We do live in a world where Christ is King of kings. He is Lord of lords. There is nothing that he cannot do. There is no foe he cannot face. Jesus of Nazareth who died conquered death. He conquered death. Yet, we live in a world where politicians fight for what we laughingly call power. Despots behave like "little tin gods." Horror and shame thrive where there should be peace and grace. We live in a world where it looks like God can be ignored, like Jesus' redeeming work has no effects at all. We live in a world that is redeemed, yet we can't turn on the news without knowing that the world doesn't look like it has been.

The redeeming work of Christ is done; now, but not yet.

This is how I live into this Father's words, "I believe; help my unbelief!" I believe, I know. Yet I also know the pain and despair and shame this world heaps on its inhabitants.

To me, this man's heroism is his honesty, before the Lord his God he knows and he tells the whole truth. He knows and he fears and he shares both with Jesus and with the world. He may not have made his way into Hebrews 11 nor will he ever be listed among the great heroes of scripture. Despite his place in history I say this, he's a hero.

He's one of my heroes. The greater hero of course is Jesus. He did what he said he would do. He did everything he said he would do. That is heroic.

Snark, my Sense of Humor, and American Politics

Dear Friends,
Those of you who know me at all know I have a tremendous and vast sense of humor. I find all sorts of things funny and look to find humor in every situation, usually successfully. Those of you who know me well know that from time to time my sense of humor can be snarky. Or sarcastic. Or downright dark. I try to keep those down to a minimum. I tend to keep that part of my sense of humor out of my professional life.

Side note: Those who know me socially are asking "That's a minimum?" My best answer is "Yes, now imagine what I self edit... Now imagine what I only share with my wife... " This is when we all nominate the wonderful Marie for sainthood.

The reason I haven't updated this blog recently is because I haven't had much to say, and the things that I thought I might share were best self edited. Readers who have experienced recent postings, especially the "Lies my father/mother told me" series, are wiping their brows in gladness. This is one of the few times the phrase "thank you for not sharing" is appropriate. It's not a proud moment, but still.

I will never lose my sense of humor. Nor will I lose every element of my sense of humor, but here's something very important-- I am sick of the level of snark I have seen in the past ten years. Let me make this very clear, if I've had it up to here with snark it's probably drowning mortals. What pushed me over the edge? The current debate on the Affordable Healthcare Act.

I find much of it disingenuous. Before President Obama was inaugurated Congressional Republicans publicly declared their goal over "the next four years is to make President Obama a one-term president." While the strategy didn't work that doesn't prevent its continuation.

But don't let Congressional Democrats off the hook. They're just as bad, nobody has cornered the market on "disingenuous." The party of my inclination is just as able to brew a tempest in a teapot. The reason I don't list any is that I have read so many Facebook posts and memes about how Democrats impede government sending America into poverty that I don't need to. If you disagree with my politics you have your own laundry list.

Important point! I don't hate the people who disagree with me! I need the people who disagree with me! People who challenge me and what I believe give me perspectives that challenge what I believe and make my beliefs stronger. You may make me either affirm or change what I believe, and either way it still makes me stronger, not weaker!

But the level of snark from both sides of the Congressional aisle don't challenge me. They now disgust me. As for me, on this day, I believe there's enough blame to go around. Again, enough blame to go around. As Shakespeare said, "a pox on both of your houses. Both of your houses!"

About fifteen years ago my father had an epiphany in Missouri state races. All of the men running for office, Democrats and Republicans both, were acting like idiot blowhards. The women on the other hand were measured and constructive. Today I look at Michelle Bachman and Hillary Clinton and wonder what happens once you reach a certain point. It's the Peter Principle of American Politics. I despair this once workable solution is now improbable.

If you want to accuse me of being snarky right now I want to plead "not guilty" but will probably settle for "no contest." I'm trying to express myself without going over the edge right now (and on a second reading too out things that were too close to the edge of snark for my comfort), but that is the tight rope I now choose to walk. That's the abyss I'm not going to throw myself into anymore, God help me.

So friends, please know that my sense of humor will remain sharp. My stories will still be funny. My puns will still be flowing like a river. And I seek to quit wasting my time and yours on snark, especially political snark. Now that's a load off my chest.

Love you all,
Paul

XTerra Update

A bill from Orr Nissan, and the check that paid the bill.

Dear Friends,
This picture is a bill from Orr Nissan in Shreveport, Louisiana. It covers a timing belt, water pump, heater core, and coolant overflow hose along with enough labor to tear it down and put it back together again. The check that covers the bill, literally and figuratively, was made possible through your generosity.

On July 10 I posted our first request online for help. Unemployment stinks and unemployment in East Texas without a working vehicle is impossible. We could have sold the vehicle to get a new one, but that would have netted us about $1,500 to buy something and it's not 1988 anymore. You can't even get a wreck in Marshall for that kind of money.

This is where I don't know how many of you joined us in prayer that we might get the help we need. Prayers were answer. Twenty-three of you decided to lend us a financial hand via the PayPal route. Your generosity has provided $2,500.00. Four others mailed us checks totaling $350.00. We also received another $350.00 in cash from four other people. This comes to... you guessed it... $3,200.00.  That was more than close enough to the total needed to pay the bill to make me dance in the streets.

When I posted this good news on Facebook, I also shared thanks and praise to God. Then Moishe Sachs, a friend from Santa Fe Trail Elementary School, wrote,  "Maybe more than is apparent; the check is made out to Orr (light in Hebrew) & Nissan, from the word in Hebrew meaning miracle, ness." Moishe is right, this is a miracle from the Light of God. Amen.

He also noted how glorious it is that an observant Jew and a progressive Presbyterian can get together and praise God. Amen Moishe, amen. God has blessed us through you. God bless all of you who helped.

Of course that's not all we need...

We still need another $1,000.00 for a tune up, but that's not urgent. That's not going to keep us off the road.

Another thing we need is a job. Friends, I think I've proven I'm not too proud to beg. I need a job. If you have any leads or friends with leads for someone with a bachelor's in business, two master's degrees, ten-plus years in Higher Education and over seven in ministry (and five in the "hospitality industry") I would love to talk to you.

If you want to help financially, the link is still active. (Still not a tax dedutable contribution.) Click the "Donate" button  and enter paandresen@aol.com when it asks for "To (Their email address)"



If you have a line on a job, email me at PAAndresen@aol.com. We can arrange phone contact or even lunch from there.

In the meantime, praise God and thank you for your help