I'm Beginning to See My Problem with Colin Kaepernick

I think I've begun to figure out what bothers me about Kaepernick's protest and especially the followers...

When I got out of school in 1985 I couldn't find a job in my field, Reganomics decimated hiring in Higher Ed. Does any of this have to do with my "winning personality?" Maybe, but five years later, after throwing drunks out of bars for a few years I found an entry level job. Thank you David Shellberg and Lamar Community College.

I worked eight and a half years in Lamar and three more at the University of Arkansas, ten years of that was spent working with low income students and students who would be the first in their family to earn a Bachelor's Degree. Statistically speaking, people who qualify for these programs are more likely to be people of color, but don't believe for a minute that there aren't a lot of white children who fulfill those qualifications too.

So here's the deal. These programs, and the nearly 2,800 like them are a part of the United States

Click here for the Department of Education TRIO Homepage

Department of Education's TRIO programs. These programs include Talent Search, Upward Bound, Veteran's Upward Bound, the Talent Search Math Science Initiative and a few others. They help students whose families are less likely to get their kids into higher ed into Higher Ed and on toward graduation and even graduate school.

These program's are a part of President Johnson's War on Poverty. That's right, that "Redneck Som-Bit from Texas" Johnson, the President who made sure the Civil Right's Act didn't die with Kennedy on a Sunny day in Dallas worked to make sure kids who never considered higher education not only considered it, but had the support and the tools to succeed.

These problems have existed for hundreds of years in America. So why in the world are we paying so much attention to this guy? I'm sorry, he's a Johnny come lately to the party with the assets, the charisma, and the authority to do more than just whine. I've done more for race in America after someone called one of my regular customers who was black "The N-Word" in the bar I managed than he did and that took fifteen minutes.

I have sat in rooms full of people who could do more with what he makes in a single game sitting on the bench to further justice in America than he has ever dreamed. I've done more working ten years in higher education working with students and working to secure the jobs of the people delivered services to these students.

People aren't actually talking about race or society or justice, they're talking about Colin Kaepernick. He's more of a distraction. Colin Kaepernick doesn't need to keynote a discussion on race, he needs to go to a regional or national TRIO convention and see what people are doing to move toward a just society. He doesn't need to talk, he needs to listen, he needs to pay attention, and he needs to get involved and maybe put some of that money where his mouth is.

By the way, these are federally funded programs, you know, the federal government, That thing he protests by taking a knee. And I thought taking a knee was how a football player gives up on a play. All hat, no cattle. All protest, no action. Sorry Colin, spend ten years as an Upward Bound counselor helping kids get into college, which you seemingly took for granted, then you might have a better idea what the problem is.

Then you can go to your gated community and your swimming pool and tell the world how bad life is for people of color.

Pastor Paul's July 12 Federated Flash Article

Dear Friends in Christ,

Chris Baker is a student at Garrett Evangelical Seminary in Louisville. He wrote this for his Facebook page and it is currently making the rounds on the interwebs. I haven’t found anyone who has said this in such a sound theological manner so instead of trying, I will use his words. To clarify, derailment is the act of using a counterargument or counter assertion to derail a conversation from the original point:

I saw yet another ‪#‎AllLivesMatter‬ derailment this morning, and it made me want to scream. Or, rather, it made me want to scream this: 

‬‬
When, in the Beatitudes, Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor," you don't shout "Everyone's blessed!" When Jesus says "Blessed are the hungry," you don't shout "Everyone's blessed!" When Jesus says, "Blessed are those who mourn," you don't shout "Everyone's blessed!" You don't, I hope, because you understand that Jesus declares these people blessed precisely because they never have been. Their society never blessed them. The proverbial powers that be never blessed them. Their neighbors never blessed them. No one blessed them. No one considered them blessed, worthy of blessing. Their lives, in other words, never mattered.

I hope, too, that you understand what happens next in the Gospel of Luke. The blessings are followed by curses. Woe to the rich, who have enriched themselves at the expense of the poor. Woe to the full, who have engorged themselves at the expense of the hungry. Woe to those who are laughing now, in the face of the grief and misery of others. Jesus has flipped the script. Out is in. In is out. Down is up. Up is down. And ‪#‎BlackLivesMatter‬ precisely because they haven't, and in your derailment they still don't. Biblically and theologically speaking, that's some dangerous ground you're occupying.

Now for what he doesn’t say, all lives don’t matter. He’s saying that according to the Gospel of Luke, the powerless will be blessed and those who benefit at the expense of those who are oppressed, woe unto them. Ready for the big curse, if that includes some police, if that includes some politicians, if that includes some corporations (who are “persons” under the law) then so be it. Woe unto them.

I hate to bring up the Jackson 5 here, but this is the problem of “one bad apple.” Sometimes all it takes is one person to cause a broad brush to be used. It’s one of the greatest horrors, but it’s true. Pastors understand this too. With sexual abuse, financial abuse, and other abuses of power I can be suspect.

In the Beatitudes, Jesus blesses those who have never been blessed. Those who have blessed themselves, well, woe unto them. I thank God for the Messiah who has blessed us so that we may be a blessing.

I am not here to curse woes unto people who have done well. The nation of Israel was blessed to be a blessing. Through Jesus of Nazareth, the Messiah, the Christ, we have been grafted into that vine. We have been blessed, but if we are not a blessing then Christ will ask what we have done with our blessing. This is a question worth asking. This is what our society needs to ask.

Oh, and maybe when the people who have not been blessed are, that will be a blessing to all people.

See you in Church, Paul

We pray for police, military, and all others who voluntarily put themselves in harm’s way in service to others.

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

John 15:13

Snark, my Sense of Humor, and American Politics

Dear Friends,
Those of you who know me at all know I have a tremendous and vast sense of humor. I find all sorts of things funny and look to find humor in every situation, usually successfully. Those of you who know me well know that from time to time my sense of humor can be snarky. Or sarcastic. Or downright dark. I try to keep those down to a minimum. I tend to keep that part of my sense of humor out of my professional life.

Side note: Those who know me socially are asking "That's a minimum?" My best answer is "Yes, now imagine what I self edit... Now imagine what I only share with my wife... " This is when we all nominate the wonderful Marie for sainthood.

The reason I haven't updated this blog recently is because I haven't had much to say, and the things that I thought I might share were best self edited. Readers who have experienced recent postings, especially the "Lies my father/mother told me" series, are wiping their brows in gladness. This is one of the few times the phrase "thank you for not sharing" is appropriate. It's not a proud moment, but still.

I will never lose my sense of humor. Nor will I lose every element of my sense of humor, but here's something very important-- I am sick of the level of snark I have seen in the past ten years. Let me make this very clear, if I've had it up to here with snark it's probably drowning mortals. What pushed me over the edge? The current debate on the Affordable Healthcare Act.

I find much of it disingenuous. Before President Obama was inaugurated Congressional Republicans publicly declared their goal over "the next four years is to make President Obama a one-term president." While the strategy didn't work that doesn't prevent its continuation.

But don't let Congressional Democrats off the hook. They're just as bad, nobody has cornered the market on "disingenuous." The party of my inclination is just as able to brew a tempest in a teapot. The reason I don't list any is that I have read so many Facebook posts and memes about how Democrats impede government sending America into poverty that I don't need to. If you disagree with my politics you have your own laundry list.

Important point! I don't hate the people who disagree with me! I need the people who disagree with me! People who challenge me and what I believe give me perspectives that challenge what I believe and make my beliefs stronger. You may make me either affirm or change what I believe, and either way it still makes me stronger, not weaker!

But the level of snark from both sides of the Congressional aisle don't challenge me. They now disgust me. As for me, on this day, I believe there's enough blame to go around. Again, enough blame to go around. As Shakespeare said, "a pox on both of your houses. Both of your houses!"

About fifteen years ago my father had an epiphany in Missouri state races. All of the men running for office, Democrats and Republicans both, were acting like idiot blowhards. The women on the other hand were measured and constructive. Today I look at Michelle Bachman and Hillary Clinton and wonder what happens once you reach a certain point. It's the Peter Principle of American Politics. I despair this once workable solution is now improbable.

If you want to accuse me of being snarky right now I want to plead "not guilty" but will probably settle for "no contest." I'm trying to express myself without going over the edge right now (and on a second reading too out things that were too close to the edge of snark for my comfort), but that is the tight rope I now choose to walk. That's the abyss I'm not going to throw myself into anymore, God help me.

So friends, please know that my sense of humor will remain sharp. My stories will still be funny. My puns will still be flowing like a river. And I seek to quit wasting my time and yours on snark, especially political snark. Now that's a load off my chest.

Love you all,
Paul

Pastor Paul's June Newsletter Article

Dear readers, this is a particularly long writing for both a newsletter article and blog post. I pray you forgive me as I believe the subject matter deserves and needs these words. God bless you as you read and as always, please comment if you desire. ~Paul

Dear Friends in Christ,

Many of you are aware from the local newspaper and the coffee shop that the First Presbyterian Church in Longview has split. Many are leaving to form a new Evangelical Presbyterian Church congregation and the remaining members are staying to make a go of it in the historic First Presbyterian building.

Many of you also know that our own Harriette Malcolm has served as Clerk for the Presbytery’s Administrative Commission for First Longview. Now that the Pastors who served that church have demitted (sorry, church jargon—set aside/renounced) their PC(USA) ordinations Harriette is now Clerk of their Session. This will continue until the remaining members of the First Presbyterian Church in Longview elect a new Session and Clerk.

A couple of weeks ago, there was a Presbytery meeting in Dallas to discuss some things including the formation of that Administrative Commission. A meeting that could have been finished in an hour (including 40 minutes of worship) took three. It took that long because people were hurt and wanted their pain known and acknowledged.

Friends in Christ, any time a church faces a split there is pain. Few congregations in the Presbytery know that better than this one after a split over twenty-five years ago. There are still members of this part of the Body of Christ who feel that pain intimately. It is the Church’s version of a civil war where brothers and sisters and parents and children fight on opposite sides of the line, or in the case of the church the aisle. It is horrible. It is terrible. But as for the question of whether or not it can be prevented, well, the answer to that just might be no.

The Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow was the Moderator of the 218th General Assembly in San Jose. He is also a prolific writer and noted speaker on technology and the church. In a recent article the Rev. Reyes-Chow quoted Dr. Fred Heuser, Executive Director of the Presbyterian Historical Society, about the history of splits and reunions among Presbyterians. Dr. Heuser writes:

The conflict and divisiveness within the PC (USA) today is part of a broader pattern that is deeply rooted in our past. The “flash points” that have produced these conflicts may be different, but the underlying tensions that birthed them are remarkably similar.

The Rev. Reyes-Chow believes that we are in such a time. He continues, “Our struggle now is to move away from the many adversarial postures that exist and acknowledge that God may indeed be working through and in all of us during these days of denominations shifts.” [Italics mine.]

The way I read it, the former Moderator of the General Assembly is saying that we need to move from fighting one another because God may well be calling some folks out of the Presbyterian Church (USA) to do the work of the Body of Christ on Earth and calling others to stay and do the work of the Body of Christ on Earth.

To me, that sounds horribly painful. It also begs the question, “Can schism bring glory to God?” Actually, that’s not such a good question. It puts human work (schism) before God’s work. This is never a winning concept. Maybe this is a better question, “Can God do something glorious despite this schism?” That isn’t so good either. This question fails to remember that God does not love us “despite who we are” (sinful creatures). Instead we must remember that God loves us because of who we are, his children.

It’s as easy as that, God loves us because we are his children.

So the better question is “Can God do something glorious through this schism?” I believe the answer is yes. God meets us where we are, even on the battlefields we put up in our sanctuaries, Presbyteries, and General Assemblies. God’s overflowing love is greater than our understanding.

Granted, none of these things relieves us of the bitter realities of our feelings. Those who were here during the split know this too well. The pain of watching family leaving may be as fresh as a newly formed scab, a scar yet to be made. Others remember the pain. Even though the scab has long peeled away and the scar faded, even if just a little. Others just remember what caused it. The Rev. Reyes-Chow tells us not ignore that pain:

Now of course, this does not mean that I do not care or do not grieve the loss of the denominational relationships with those who are leaving, but I also do not begrudge anyone or have an overwhelming urge to fight to make people stay when they are feeling like this is no longer a good place for them. What I am trying to do is to be gracious in the face of frequent castigation (castigation means criticism. -Paul) and loving as I see colleagues move into a new denominational relationship; all the while, remaining committed and faithful to my part in discerning what it means to be the Presbyterian Church (USA) today and into the future.

There is grief and sorrow and pain over the departures. But what the Rev. Reyes-Chow tells us is that he doesn’t and we mustn’t act on the all too human urge to fight with or hold grudges against those who leave. Let them be committed to who they are being called to be and we will continue to be who we are committed to be. We need to do this with grace, not with a chip.

Now he also points out that when there is separation there are other questions to be worked out; questions that end up being asked and answered by church and civil, lawyers and accountants. Every legal split has its arguments about who gets the house and the stuff, but that is not the focus of his article nor this one.

This is a time to grieve the loss of PC(USA) relationships. This is a time to grieve the loss of church friends. It is not a time for hate or spite or distrust to overwhelm the truth that Christ is Lord of ALL. Regardless of any view of “us and them,” Christ is Lord of ALL. Because Christ is Lord of all, we can forgive those who have hurt us, and there is a lot of hurt going around among the current and former members of First-Longview and with in the denomination.

This is our call to continue living out the Gospel of Jesus Christ, regardless of where we do it. We can do this with grief. We can do this with sorrow. We can never do this with hate.

See you in Church,
Paul

For the link to Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow's full blog post, click here.
For the link to  Dr. Fred Heuser's full article, click here.

Standing Up for a Super Model

Yeah, I'm defending a super model. You've seen this somewhere either on the tube or online, I'm sure. Here's the take from TMZ...

Well, let me make a couple of points.

• It was a private moment in a public space.
• Yes, she was being goaded.
• She didn't "know" she was being recorded.
• Yeah, she should have known better thank to think she wasn't being recorded but...
• Frankly, she wasn't completely wrong.

In the end, she was doing what any guy can hope his Brazilian super model wife would do for him. She was standing by her man in the face of rowdy hooligans (an American football version of hooligan, mind you). If your teammates can't handle that your wife doesn't know "the code" of not talking down your teammates then apologize for her. Tell them you're sorry she lit the fuse, but she's just a feisty, long-legged, hot-blooded Brazilian super model and you can see her apology "in full" in the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

So in honor of Gisele standing by her Tommy, I give you The Blues Brothers. Enjoy.

Adios, Joe Pa

It has been reported that former Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno has died from complications due to lung cancer. God bless Joe Pa.

Joe Pa did many wonderful things. He was the King of State College, Pennsylvania. He led the Penn State Nittany Lions football team to many wins and championships. He funded significant advances not to the athletic department that paid him so well but to the Penn State libraries which support all academic endeavors. Joe Pa's world was Penn State and ultimately this was his undoing.

He was undone by age and status. It's hard to tell an icon that a trusted aide is forcing himself sexually on underage boys. It's even harder to say it in a way that makes everything clear to someone old enough to be you great-grandfather while trying to parse words so no one feels uncomfortable. If you think it's easy, say "your trusted aid rapes children" to your grandmother. This is how he was undone.

Ultimately, Penn State decided that while Joe Pa fulfilled his legal requirements to report what happened, he was morally obligated to do more. In a society that tries to follow laws only to the letter and not the spirit--and moral obligations seem to matter less--Joe Pa's vilification is a shame. Maybe this is why no man should be an icon.

We do need to do a better job of protecting those who are in danger, but we need to do a better job of defining "those who need protection" too. Children are obvious. But when we forget the poor and the elderly many get lost in a dream that values the rugged individualism of boot-straps over community efforts to truly lift every boat in the bay.

Yes, Joe Pa did what he was supposed to do. No, he did not do enough--but he trusted that those who he told would do what they were supposed to do. That is why several of those folks are under criminal indictment.

But before anyone says what Paterno did was bad or evil, remember that none of us are truly good enough to cast the first stone, especially at someone whose position, God willing, we will never share.

Adios, Go with God Joe Pa.

Who Watches the Watchmen?

Friends, and I say this because I have friends who are "Birthers". I have heard many say that President Obama should have shown his birth certificate then "all of this would have been done." Friends, here's my question, to whom should he have shown his birth certificate? Yes, that's it, who should have seen it? I don't think it should be Donald Trump.

So what qualifies someone to become President? Article II, Section 1, Clause 5 of the Constitution sets the principal qualifications one must meet to be eligible for the Presidency. The President must be a natural born citizen of the United States who is at least thirty-five years old and been a permanent resident in the United States for at least fourteen years.

As for what it means to be a "natural born citizen," this didn't become contentious until after the Civil War with Reconstruction. It became a sticking point because suddenly potential presidents, citizens of the Southern United States, had sworn allegiance to a foreign power, the Confederate States of America.

The Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution defined citizenship primarily in the first sentence of Section 1: "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside." The rest of the amendment dealt with reconstruction issues and certainly not to any person born after 1868.

In fact, the Fourteenth Amendment made the term "natural born citizen" obsolete.

Here's the end: According to this State of Hawaii Certificate of Live Birth Barack Obama was born in the state of Hawaii (not a territory since 1959) and is a citizen of the US.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is missing from the constitution is who checks these qualifications for each candidate? Why? Because until Barack Obama there hasn't been a major party candidate suspected of not meeting these eligibility criteria. This brouhaha came up because nobody knew the answer to the question "Who watches the watchmen?"

As for me, I assumed (yes, I know what that means) that whether it be in his home state of Illinois, or whoever certifies ballots before the primary or general election, or Hillary Clinton, or the Democratic Party itself; I assumed someone, somewhere asked if he was a citizen and found a satisfactory answer.

This is who's supposed to check this stuff out, whether by law or by simple common sense. Then again, what's so common anymore.

Why isn't anyone else asking if this was checked out before we voted? Pundips (my combined word for "pundit" and "dip$#!%") everywhere have barked at the President, I haven't heard of anybody who has asked about those who were supposed maintain the integrity of our federal elections. Then again, you get more mileage complaining about the President then you get complaining about a faceless bureaucrat leading a faceless bureau.

Friends, it's time to watch the watchmen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And if the presentation of this Certificate of Live Birth isn't enough, if you suspect it's a fraud, well then SUE! Don't be Trump and make a media circus of "checking its authenticity yourself." I would think that any citizen would have the right to ask in court if their President was born in this country or not. Somewhere there's a lawyer who would love to take this to either Congress or the Supreme Court or both. In a land of Checks and Balances there's someone who should be willing to host this lawsuit. Quit complaining and do something! SUE 'EM! Get your answers outside of the court of public opinion and put it in a court with the teeth to do something within the law to enforce the law.

That's how we do things in a nation of laws.

Ration after the Irrational

Some of my friends have been trying to make sense of the violence of this weekend. Shoot, I gave it a shot in yesterday's sermon myself. Still, there is a danger in all of this.

These acts yesterday were the acts of a man with real mental trouble. I am not fit to diagnose, not will I ever be called upon to judge his mental health. But after hearing some interviews and seeing his YouTube videos, he did not seem to be in perfect mental health to me.

So when people of good conscience try to make conclusions beyond his actions, there will be some lapses.It's inevitable! What Jared Loughner did was beyond reason. Some political rhetoric in the Cable News Sphere and the Talk Radio Sphere and the BlogoSphere and the Twittersphere and whatever other else spheres are out on the other side of civility too. But to connect the two, trying to create a relationship that says one causes the other is perilous at best.

Friends, don't try to make sense of the acts of a killer. It's not going to help. What we must do is take responsibility for our own actions, our own speech, and our own images. Which reminds me, this isn't the first time a "peace sign" has been replaced by the Mercedes-Benz logo, but can we try to make it the last?

New York Yankees' Owner George Steinbrenner Dies at Age 80

Well, this may not mean much to many of you, but if you follow baseball at all, you know who "The Boss" is, and it's Steinbrenner. His son took over the day-to-day ownership of the Yanks a few years ago, but George is still "The Boss."

Sorry Bruce, you might be "The Boss" to the rest of the world, but in baseball, that title belonged to Steinbrenner.

I was just listening to ESPN Radio where the topic of discussion was "Who is now the most well known owner in sports?" There were some good answers:

• Al Davis, aka "Skeletor" and the owner of the Oakland Raiders of the NFL,
• Jerry Jones, owner of the NFL Dallas Cowboys and recently on HBO's "Entourage" (This little fact was used by different callers as both a plus and a minus.),
• Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks and reigning biggest mouth in sport
• Michael Jordan of the NBA Charlotte Bobcats but let's face it, his fame is from playing and not as an owner. In this discussion he gets an "Honorable Mention" before we go to the other contenders.

As for the other contenders, this is where the host said that nobody will replace Steinbrenner today. It's as simple as that. Truly, it has more to do with "The Boss" than it has to do with the competition and this isn't to say that one day one of these men won't take the throne, but today, the answer is still Steinbrenner, he is and for a while more will be "The Boss."

Who Is My Nieghbour?

Get the spelling? I'm hooking in with the Stones tune title.



This week's gospel reading the story of the Good Samaritan. So here's the big question this lesson asks, "Who's my neighbor?" Who indeed.

Let's just say that as for me with the new Arizona Immigration law, I'm waiting for the head of the Hopi and Navajo nations to enter the state house and send everyone without papers back to where they came from.

What, they were born in America? Well shoot, without identity papers I don't know if that matters.

Rule of law is one thing, but legalistic is quite another. The biggest problem with a legalistic society is when the rules get turned in ways that were never expected.

Incendiary Rhetoric

So this is why I have quit watching the news...

A Caucasian woman on FoxNews the other day said that if she were in Arizona and if she were asked, she would be proud to produce documents that proved she was a citizen of these United States. Of course...

1. She would never be asked for her papers, she's lily white, and
2. What would she produce?

This is my question...What document would she produce? Drivers licence? Social Security Card? In America, citizens don't have to carry citizenship papers. We don't! If you don't want to drive, you don't have to carry photo identification. Sure, it's easier to get beer if you have an ID, but you don't have to carry ID and you don't have to buy beer.

Does this mean that in Arizona having a lack of papers is cause for suspicion?

I get it. The issues with immigration are many and complex. Aliens, whether in this country legally or not, take jobs from Americans and jobs that no American (read: Anglo) wants to take. Pretty much everything in this world is more complex than a segment on a talk radio or cable news show.

The problem with nearly every issue in our country today is not so much the foundational issue, it's the rhetoric used to deify and vilify. We are a nation that is heading toward a place where ration is being replaced by reaction.

Thank God that at this moment, there are enough people in each camp that one is not in a position to completely annihilate the other, because if that were true then the opening of "reeducation camps" would not be far away.

If you think I'm crazy, what about the talk of "liberal-left-wing-media" as a form of reeducation. What about local "Tea Parties" and before that "Rush's Bake Sale" to reeducate. Both of these groups are well meaning (GOD let them be well meaning), but there is no longer room for middle ground when the rhetoric is hotter than the surface of the sun.

Remember, it's all good fun until the Hopi busts someone in Arizona and ships them back to England.

Now That's Bile!

The Rev. Fred Phelps is at it again. The man who gave the world "godhatesfags.com" is presenting his newest target, Lady Gaga. That's right, now if we believe the good Reverend, God is taking time out of his busy schedule to hate a pop singer.

Can't blame him though, according to Rev. Phelps quoting Jeremiah 3 she has "a whore's forehead and refuses to be ashamed." Well, if that isn't enough reason to hate the woman...

He declares that Lady Gaga hates her fans and at the end of his press release says "You're going to hell." I'm guessing he means the singer, not everyone who downloads the press release.

Just so that the gist of the press release is not lost on the minions of Satan, er, the people of St. Louis, the Westboro Baptist Church will picket her concert at St. Louis' Fox Theater on January 10 from 6:30 to 7:30.

Hey, be there or be square!

I don't know what to say, lest this, We are saved by faith though grace. It will matter not how many shows get picketed, or presidents (he picketed Clinton in Fayetteville in the late 90's), or soldier's funerals.

I dare say that presenting a word of hatred, particularly a prophet of God's hatred, will be not only ineffective, but counter productive to the work of God. Still, if Phelps actions can get people into scripture and into the chruch where they can hear the Word of God's grace and peace through Jesus Christ, even this work can be redeemed.

A God that can use the flawed human words of the Rev. Fred Phelps and of me; now that's the work of a powerful God.

The School of Rock, but Don't Call It That

Image from the movie "School of Rock"

The University of Central Oklahoma has created the Acacemy of Contempory Music, or what is going to forever be known as "The School of Rock." According to the web page for the academy, their "focus is on building the careers of our talented students through preparation and exposure."

Thanks to Dan Krotz for sharing this with me. I will share with you the question he asked me, "Will Jack Black be the first commencement speaker?"

But of course...

That's Not What I Like About College Football

The University of Alabama Football Program has announced today that linebacker Courtney Upshaw will not be suspended from the program even though he was arrested on a harassment charge Wednesday night.

ESPN reports that Courtney and his girlfriend were both "altercating," but we don't get that from the Crimson Tide. All we get from them was that Mr. Upshaw would not be suspended.

His punishment: He was placed on "behavioral probation." The guys on the radio asked "what in the world is that?" and "aren't we all on that everyday?" Sorry to pile on, but I'm agreeing with the radio guys.

I Googled "behavioral probation" and found nearly 6,000 hits. Just from looking at the descriptions on Google, the punishments for "behavioral probation" were in the same category as punishments for "academic probation." So with either type of violation, judgment was dealt.

From what I gather, the Bama version of "behavioral probation" means that if he gets caught in a domestic dispute with his girlfriend again then action will be taken. Is it me or does that seem too late?

Ah, Courtney Upshaw, the pride of Eufala, Alabama. Roll Tide!

Voyeur Nation

This post is subtitled "John and Kate Separate."

A nation of voyeurs, maybe that's what we have been since the 1950's or since the first cavemen gossiped over the campfire, but that's what we are--a nation of voyeurs. The most popular "oh my God, have you heard" is the continuing saga of John and Kate. Nobody wants my take, so here it is.

Without TV, their lives would have been very different. There's a belief that you change the outcome of an event by measuring it, I wish I could remember the source on that one. In the realm of human relationships, I think this is an example of truth in that statement. Their life together changed dramatically because it was recorded and then dissected like a frog by a bored 9th grade biology student.

J&K, I hope y'all find happiness and I hope you put away a chunk of change for the kids' therapy bills.

John & Kate + Video Tape

The alternate name for this post is "Sex, Lies, and John & Kate"

An open letter to anyone who really wants to put their family on TV,

Haven't we learned by now that this is a bad idea? Let's start at the nearly beginning. Let's start with PBS' "An American Family." This idea of a show involved cutting 300 hours of videotape into twelve shows. The last episode coped with the son coming out of the closet (something the audience would "know" before the folks) and Mom asking Dad for a divorce and leaving the house. While the Loud's (is there a better TV family name?) didn't divorce until 2002, can we all agree that the stress of life and video gets to human beings?

Hummmm, let's see the track record of real-life couples on TV.

Nick and Jessica--Nope
Danny and Gretchen--Sorry
Travis and Shanna--Swing and a miss

Well, that's it for the top of my head. So dear TV couple, I beg you not to get a life. You have a life. May you have a wonderful, glorious, blessed life. But please don't put your normal life on TV. The moment you do, it is no longer your life, and that would be a shame.

Just ask Kate's bodyguard. No, not for purient details, just ask him why Kate needs a bodyguard.

The Common and the Uncommon

Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com writes a story of Marine Staff Sargeant Tony Wojciechowski in this column. The two men nicknamed Wojo are not related, but the story of the Sargeant made the sportswriter think about things more important than sports. Gene Wojo writes:

I'm trying to honor a 25-year-old soldier from Union Township, Ohio, instead of writing about point shaving at the University of Toledo, or Brett Favre's latest comeback saga, or Manny Ramirez's suspension. There are lots of those stories, but only one Tony Wojo.

I'm a big fan of the absurd and the wide, wide world of sports. But somedays, it's better to think about the stories of life that are far more important than Manny on Clomid.

God bless you Tony Wojo. God bless your family and friends. God bless those who you served with. God bless those who continue to serve.

What Have We Learned Today?

So close, so very, very close, but Bristol Palin has just closed the barn door after the horse became a baby-mama. From the Associated Press:

Bristol Palin, arguably the nation's best-known unwed teen mother, embarked on a media tour Wednesday to argue that abstinence is a realistic way for teens to avoid unwanted pregnancy--a view not shared by the father of her infant son.

A few paragraphs later, the boy friend says abstinence "is not realistic for many young people today." Just between you and me, isn't that what many, many boys would say? Again, just between you and me, doesn't that make him sound like an insensitive oaf? One more time, just between you and me, doesn't he sound like a baby-daddy who can't keep himself in his pants?

His dumb quote from the aricle:

"Abstinence is a great idea," Johnston said. "But I also think you need to enforce, you know, condoms and birth control and other things like that to have safe sex. I don't just think telling young kids, 'You can't have sex,' it's not going to work."

Does he sound like every hormone driven bearer of the Y-chromosone or is it just me?

Palin goes on to say that if she did not have her baby, she would be off at college (out-of-state), hanging out with friends, and so on. This much is so, but do we need another single teen mother to prove this to us? Shoot, we don't even need another Lifetime movie to prove this to us!

What Palin doesn't say, is that if she didn't have her baby; she would have broken up with this slob of a guy (sure, I don't know him personally, but if this quote is any indication...), gone to college, found another guy (I'll even give her the benefit of experience and say she meets a much better guy than her last boyfriend), and had more sex with various amounts of protection. (Palin said she and the baby-daddy didn't always use protection, so I presume this contraceptive behavior based on previous contraceptive behavior.)

What I'm asking is, if it takes a baby to teach you teen preganacy sucks, have you really learned anything at all?

Follow this link for the full text of the Associated Press story.

Come and See it before YouTube Yanks it.

Shepherd Smith says torture is wrong on FoxNews and America is better than that. Let's just say at the 0:38 mark in the video he makes himself perfectly clear.

The Pope Has a Point

The Associated Press reports this from the Pope's Easter message...

Pope Benedict XVI said Sunday that reconciliation was the only way to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and said the entire world needed to rediscover hope to end wars, poverty and financial turmoil.

Well, you can't go wrong playing the hits. Happy Easter--He is risen, He is risen indeed.