Storytelling

My family is a family of storytellers. My sisters and I learned this from our parents. My mother's family, the only extended family we know, are notorious storytellers. For some odd reason I was reminded of this story...

About ten years ago Marie and I lived in Northwest Arkansas, about 40 miles from Branson. We were up there for some reason I don't remember and decided to have dinner at Red Lobster. We were seated pretty close to the kitchen which provided the inspiration for this ditty.

We were about half way through the meal a server walked by and I asked him this question:

Excuse me, is this the Red Lobster with the Twister board painted on the floor of the walk-in?

For those who don't know, a walk-in is a large freezer or refrigerator. To suggest that someone, somewhere would paint a Twister board on the floor would be weird. To fall for it is just plain fun, at least it is for me.

The man (blonde sure, but a man-put away your gender based stereotypes!) stopped in his tracks and asked what I was talking about. So I spun a little yarn about the legend of a Red Lobster restaurant somewhere having a Twister board painted on the floor of the walk-in. He was enthralled by the story.

I loved it. Marie was marginally amused and preferred her shrimp.

I didn't take it too far, letting his imagination run wild was far better than making the story so big he would figure out I was weaving a tale. Still, we had a lovely chat about the restaurant and he said he would have to keep an open ear to the "Legend of the Walk-In Twister Board."

Ah storytelling. My sisters are so proud. My mother would have been appalled.

on the death of Robin Williams

Here's a conversation I've had lately with many people:

Others: Paul, you've lost so much weight, how are you doing it?

Me: Poverty, mental illness, and exercise. Sure, two out of three aren't that good but I have lost over 180 pounds.

As regular readers of this blog know, I suffer from Type II Bi-Polar Disorder. In short, when not properly medicated, I suffer from strong depression with times when I become obsessively focused on matters or engage in risky behaviors. For me, risky behaviors have taken the shape of alcohol abuse (that ended in my early 30's more than 20 years ago) or using humor in situations that is not proper.

That came to a head last November when I considered living out a line from the Supertramp song Goodbye Stranger, "Feel no sorrow, feel no shame, come tomorrow feel no pain." Suicide has that going for it--the end of today's pain.

I can't say I understand what made Mr. Williams do what he did. This I do understand, when there is too much pain, suicide seems like the only way out.

It must have made some sense to Megan when she did it. It must have made sense to Sandy when she did it. It sure made sense to Carlos when he disconnected his feeding tube--dying that way rather than from AIDS in 1988. A permanent solution to a temporary situation? Well, not to Carlos, not in 1988. But in the middle of that situation, after years of being in the middle of that situation, it makes a certain sense.

As for the number of comics who have gone before Robin Williams--Chris Farley, John Belushi, Lenny Bruce, Socrates--all lived on that razor's edge and died tragically. All were incredibly smart and used an incredible sense of humor to overcome what they thought were their own personal deficiencies.

As for me, I'm just glad I've got good medications for the Bi-Polar disorder and the dog to get exercise. As for poverty, well, that's a story for another day and the lives of Williams, Farley, Belushi and the rest show that fame and wealth don't equate to happiness and mental health. But that's another post.

Ending this, I loved Robin Williams. My favorite memory of him was on the Dennis Miller Show on HBO when Miller was still funny. Miller's monologue was great that night then Williams came out.  That's when the whole show came off the rails. Robin Williams was outrageously funny. He finally asked Miller if he wanted to ask more questions and Miller said something to the effect that there was no way he was going to stop what was happening. It was the fourth episode and it was magic. Pure magic.

I'll miss the humor. I'll miss the wit. I'll miss the brilliance of the connections he made to create and weave a tapestry of wonder and love with humor. I knew it masked pain. I knew it from his life. I knew it from his biography. I knew it from his addictions. I knew it from my life. But still, the wonder is now gone, but it's not lost.

Via con Dios.

Racial Equality, the Fight Continues in Even the Smallest Corners

If you are a regular follower of my blogs you know that I live in Marshall, Texas. The civil rights history of Marshall is long and storied. It is said the sit-in was invented here. 

At the Paramount Theater, if you were black during the eras before the 1960s, you walked past the front theater door where whites entered and rounded the corner to buy your ticket. You walked a steep flight of steps to enter and sat in the "Buzzard's Roost." Blacks weren't allowed to sit with whites, obvious in Jim Crow Marshall, but blacks weren't even allowed to enter with whites. CORE founder James L. Farmer Jr. who grew up in Marshall was so incensed that he went to Washington in 1941 to fight for civil rights.

The 1949 film "Pinky" became the subject of a tremendous battle when the city fathers decided it could not be shown in Marshall because the picture depicts "(1) a white man retaining his love for a woman after learning that she is a Negro, (2) a white man kissing and embracing a Negro woman, (3) two white ruffians assaulting Pinky after she has told them she is colored."The cinema owner was convicted of violating the ruling and was fined $200. He appealed the conviction all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court where he eventually won his appeal.

I mention this because Marshall Cinema is showing "White House Down" this week. It's the story of Channing Tatum saving the President of the United States played by Jamie Foxx from home grown terrorists. To the right you will see how it's posted on the Marshall Cinema website (as of July 6, 2013 at 10:30 am).

As you can see, this movie evidently doesn't star Jamie Foxx. It stars Maggie Gyllenhaal. Really? Yes, she's in the movie and she's important to the action but she isn't the star of the show. It's Tatum and Foxx, and for one reason or another Jamie Foxx isn't on the bill. 

Even in the smallest corners of our nation and our cybernation, discrimination exists. There is no other reason I can imagine leaving Jamie Foxx off of their web page. Do people not know? Are people so afraid of Jamie Foxx that even though his picture is on the page his name dare not be listed? Is Maggie Gyllenhaal a bigger draw? 

I find it hard to consider, but not so hard to believe, that even in the quietest moments, in the smallest corners of the internet, this fight has to continue.

Thanks to the Shreveport Times, http://www.shreveporttimes.com/article/20080217/LIVING/802160309/On-trail-history-Marshal-Texas-offers-black-heritage-tour

and Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinky_(film)

Telemarketing and DirecTV

As many of you know, the church that I was serving chose to close. This was traumatic for everyone involved. As for me, there have been many changes. One of them has been moving from our home of two-and-a-half years. We are now renting a room from a friend. Thank God for good friends who are willing to lift a helping hand! As a part of moving, I had to shut off the utilities. Obvious, eh?

Telemarketing has become an art unto itself. Each time I called to cut off a service the person at the call center would ask why. I would tell them that I was moving because I had lost my job. Most were sympathetic, some just went on with the day. Not DirecTV.

When I called them they asked why and I told the why. So the call center attendant asked if the place where I was moving had DirecTV. Really? I lost my job, found a room, and you want to know if the woman who owns the house where I will live has or wants DirecTV? I was in shock, but I just said she was happy with her service.

Then a couple of days later I got the follow up call asking why I was dropping the DirecTV. I decided to be a little more direct. I said "I lost my job. I am unemployed. By the grace of God we found a room to rent but that meant I had to end my DirecTV service." Not to be deterred, she asked if our new landlord was interested in DirecTV. Really? Really again? I couldn't believe it, but I was polite again and said no.

I was sure I had to share this with you my blogging audience but hadn't gotten around to it... until I checked my email this evening and found this...

This is just a part of the image, but you get the point, I am still getting begging from DirecTV.

So, here's the deal, we liked DirecTV. We liked it very much. But when the time comes again, I will remember this experience, and when I was unemployed they still wanted to sell me what I could not use.

It Was 25 Years Ago

Twenty-five years ago I was working in Westport, Kansas City, Missouri. It was also the 50th Anniversary of the NCAA Men's Division I College Basketball Tournament. As a bar manager it was a big weekend for us.

Image may be subject to copyright

Friday night April 1, 1988 was outrageous, especially as the 8th cede University of Kansas Jayhawks made their way to the finals. (A game they would ultimately win on Monday against the University of Oklahoma Sooners.) So after a wild evening of basketball and revelry, the national press woke on April 2, a sunny Sunday morning and asked Kansas City, "So, what's going on today?" Nobody had a clue.

On this sleepy Sunday morning a man escaped confinement from the midtown home of Bob Berdella wearing nothing but a dog collar. That's right, naked but for a dog collar. The young man had been abducted and held by Berdella in his basement.

When it all hit the fan, partial remains of six young men were found on Berdella's property. All had been kidnapped, raped, and murdered. His own words and pictures, along with the testimony of the sole survivor, led to a guilty verdict with a sentence of life imprisonment.

Just to keep this more bizarre, Mr. Berdella had a shop selling occult inspired items at a flea market. The name of the shop was "Bob's Bizarre Bazaar." While originally denied it, some of the meat in Bob's famous Chili came from some of his victims.

No,
I never went to Bob's and I sure never had the chili.

Sure, the local press were all over the story, but did I mention, the national press was in town too? Something about a basketball game? Well, 25 years later the story of Bob Berdella is a passing thought to people from Kansas City and less than that to the people who heard the story waiting for basketball scores. The only people who care anymore are documentary makers and the writers of "Criminal Minds" who are missing a sure bet not retelling that story.

Bob died in prison on October 8, 1992 from a heart attack. He had complained that he wasn't getting his medication. As my sister said, "You just know the guard wasn't in much of a rush." and she's probably right.

Pastor Paul's Super Bowl XLVII Halftime Review

Let me begin by saying a little about myself and my expectation for the show: I'm a 50 year old white guy who loves football and music and not talented in either. I walk into the show expecting a show that features a musical performer will be more about the music than the spectacle. If you want to say "Er, Paul, Super Bowl? You're not looking for the spectacle?" you've got a very good point. It's just that I want the music to be spectacular too. My take, my opinion, you may believe something completely different. That's cool, God creates in many colors. If you don't agree that's fine.

So let me add, the halftime shows that I enjoyed since the turn of the century were U2, Springsteen, Prince, The Who, the Stones, and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. I will also say that The Who and Petty sets weren't everything they could have been. I've reviewed The Who show in this space (Roger's pipes aren't what they used to be) but not the Petty (seemed a little light and those were ARROWS shooting across the field, not what some folks thought they were. They're the "Heartbreakers" for the love of Pete! ARROWS SHOOTING INTO A HEART!). U2 and Prince ROCKED!

As far as the technical aspects of the performance goes, Beyoncé's voice was so much louder than everyone else it was truly a Beyoncé show. So be it. This becomes an issue when she shares the stage and especially the spotlight with other performers. I couldn't hear the flaming guitar over Beyoncé. When it came to the Destiny's Child reunion I could hardly hear the Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams parts either. So the over-focus on Beyoncé was a distraction for the audiophile guy in me.

Then color me suspicious... Yes there were some times when Beyoncé did improv into the mic as if to say, "See, I'm not lip-syncing, I'm singing!" but then she put the same mic into the crowd during the finale. Beyoncé's voice came through loud and clear, the crowd noise was mute. So, color me suspicious.

But then again, it was conceived and birthed as an entertainment spectacle, not as a musical performance. It was a dance show, not a musical act. I get it. But it's just not my cup of tea.

Does that make me a 50 year old guy who doesn't understand what's going on with today's kids? Well, I was 15 when my dad was 50, and if that's any barometer then yes. It was only later when I discovered my dad wasn't the complete fuddy-duddy I thought he was.

By the way, Alicia Keys anthem was wonderful. It wasn't Marvin Gay at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game, but it was in the same league.

Pastor Paul's "The Dark Knight Rises" Review

Let's begin with this, there is no real way any movie in this series can beat "The Dark Knight." Director Christopher Nolan (who also co-wrote the film with his brother Jonathan) and actor Heath Ledger did such a great job between themselves to make "TDK" such a physically and emotionally visceral movie that "TDKR" (The Dark Knight Rises) can only pale next to it. Getting that out of the way, I liked it.

I liked the action. I liked the story (when I could follow it). I loved the visuals. The audio was even great. The cameos made this a great movie. Bringing back Cillian Murphy, who played Dr. Jonathan Crane/The Scarecrow in "Batman Begins" was a stroke of genius! Liam Nissan coming back as Ra's Al Ghul was brilliant.

Honestly though, Bane as the chief antagonist is kind of boring. He's a brute, not much more. Even when we find the reason behind his brutality (and Darth Vader starter kit face piece) there isn't that much.

Some have pooh-poohed Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle/Catwoman, but I liked her spin on the character--and the way she can kick ass in high heels. (I don't know if it was a stunt woman or not, and I don't care. I will forever think it was her kicking ass.)

There is one controversy that has come from this, Rush Limbaugh's Bane vs. Bain controversy...

As you can see in the clip, Limbaugh links together the villain Bane and Mitt Romney's Bain Capital hence Romney becomes the face of Bain/Bane. He fears this will influence "brain dead voters" who will link the two. For me, there was a message in the movie that should irritate and worry Rush more.

The movie make a great deal of what happens when the poor and downtrodden, with a powerful charismatic leader (Bane), decide the day of the 1% is done and it's time for the 99% to give it a go. In a plot point that shouldn't be much of a spoiler, it doesn't rue well for the power elite when the disenfranchised have the opportunity to turn the tables.

I think this should have been the big point that should have scared Rush to death because blowhard talk show hosts would be on the top of the list of power-elite banner carriers the tribunal would try. If the argument is that the 99% can't stay organized, that's probably true, but it's like the two guys trying not to be eaten by the bear. I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you.

If you're looking for a plot point in TDKR to be afraid of, that's the one.

A "Suitable" Ending to House M.D.

House M.D. is a long running show on the FOX Network. Over the past eight seasons, Dr. House has led a misanthropic vendetta against disease and civility at the fictional Princeton Plainsboro Hospital in New Jersey with a dedicated if not dysfunctional group of doctors (and one med student).

The show was created and produced by David Shore, Paul Attanasio, and Katie Jacobs. Attansio worked with Tom Fontana on the NBC show Homocide: Life on the Streets.

On a side note, this is one of my favorite all time TV shows and yes, I got the box set for Christmas a few years ago. Thanks to my niece Vallie!

Fontana is also the creator of St. Elsewhere. This is where the whole thing comes together...

The last episode of St. Elsewhere ends with, well, I'll use a description from TVAcres.com.

During the life of the series Dr. Donald Westphall (Ed Flanders) worked at St. Eligius Hospital in Boston and had to juggle a busy schedule that included tending to the needs of his hospital patients and Tommy, his physically-challenged autistic son (Chad Allen). 

In the final surreal scene of the series Ed Flanders is shown as a blue-collar construction worker retuning home to his autistic son and his father (Norman Lloyd - who played Dr. Auschlander on the series). 

Sitting in the comfort of his home's living room, Tommy stares into a small crystal globe -- the kind you turn upside down to make it snow inside.

So, as tiny flakes of shimmering snow fell inside the snow globe, we get a close-up of the building inside...a likeness of St. Eligius Hospital.

The thrust of this is that everything that happened at St. Eligus Hospital was from the fertile imagination of Tommy Westphall. By extension, everything that ever happened in any TV show that is even marginally connected to St. Elegius/St. Elsewhere is from the fertile imagination of Tommy Westphall.

Tom Fontana was quoted saying "Someone did the math once, and something like 90 per cent of all television took place in Tommy Westphall's mind. God love him." In total, there are 282 shows, including St. Elsewhere, connected to Tommy Westphall's mind. This website even has a link to a wonderful grid of the whole Tommy Westphall Universe.

So what's this to do with "House M.D."? Isn't it obvious what's on my mind by now? Tommy Westphall grew up and became Gregory House. The Fontana/Attanasio connection is there. I believe Fontana would love to see Tommy all grown up as House. It would also be a twist no one has seen coming for seven years. It would open up and mess up a whole new generation of people who never knew of Tommy. This could work.

Honestly, I'm probably wrong, but it would be cool if I'm right.

Standing Up for a Super Model

Yeah, I'm defending a super model. You've seen this somewhere either on the tube or online, I'm sure. Here's the take from TMZ...

Well, let me make a couple of points.

• It was a private moment in a public space.
• Yes, she was being goaded.
• She didn't "know" she was being recorded.
• Yeah, she should have known better thank to think she wasn't being recorded but...
• Frankly, she wasn't completely wrong.

In the end, she was doing what any guy can hope his Brazilian super model wife would do for him. She was standing by her man in the face of rowdy hooligans (an American football version of hooligan, mind you). If your teammates can't handle that your wife doesn't know "the code" of not talking down your teammates then apologize for her. Tell them you're sorry she lit the fuse, but she's just a feisty, long-legged, hot-blooded Brazilian super model and you can see her apology "in full" in the next Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.

So in honor of Gisele standing by her Tommy, I give you The Blues Brothers. Enjoy.

My Super Bowl XLVI Halftime Show Review

First, congratulations to the New York Giants for their Super Bowl victory. Congrats too to Eli Manning as MVP. While he deserved the acclaim and the award, I want to throw some love to Giants Defensive End Justin Tuck. Tuck had three tackles, two sacks, and forced the Safety on the first Pat's offensive play of the game. Justin Tuck did much to set the tone of the game and deserves props.  Now for the Halftime Show Review...

Two words: Hated it. Again, let's give props--it was a spectacle. If you were looking for a spectacle this was for you. As for me, I prefer when performers perform, give me Roger Daltry (whose performance I reviewed here) crackly voice and all over spit and polish.

If you want Cirque de Madonna, then just have the dancers to Madonna music. Having Madge there "performing but not singing" was just redundant.

One more note, an informal poll of my facebook friends loved the Halftime Show. As for my friends who are professional musicians, they hated it. As far as I'm concerned, that split says it all.

Adios, Joe Pa

It has been reported that former Penn State head football coach Joe Paterno has died from complications due to lung cancer. God bless Joe Pa.

Joe Pa did many wonderful things. He was the King of State College, Pennsylvania. He led the Penn State Nittany Lions football team to many wins and championships. He funded significant advances not to the athletic department that paid him so well but to the Penn State libraries which support all academic endeavors. Joe Pa's world was Penn State and ultimately this was his undoing.

He was undone by age and status. It's hard to tell an icon that a trusted aide is forcing himself sexually on underage boys. It's even harder to say it in a way that makes everything clear to someone old enough to be you great-grandfather while trying to parse words so no one feels uncomfortable. If you think it's easy, say "your trusted aid rapes children" to your grandmother. This is how he was undone.

Ultimately, Penn State decided that while Joe Pa fulfilled his legal requirements to report what happened, he was morally obligated to do more. In a society that tries to follow laws only to the letter and not the spirit--and moral obligations seem to matter less--Joe Pa's vilification is a shame. Maybe this is why no man should be an icon.

We do need to do a better job of protecting those who are in danger, but we need to do a better job of defining "those who need protection" too. Children are obvious. But when we forget the poor and the elderly many get lost in a dream that values the rugged individualism of boot-straps over community efforts to truly lift every boat in the bay.

Yes, Joe Pa did what he was supposed to do. No, he did not do enough--but he trusted that those who he told would do what they were supposed to do. That is why several of those folks are under criminal indictment.

But before anyone says what Paterno did was bad or evil, remember that none of us are truly good enough to cast the first stone, especially at someone whose position, God willing, we will never share.

Adios, Go with God Joe Pa.

Hank Jr. and High School Civics

Hank Williams, Jr. recently told Fox News that for his political money, President Obama is as big an enemy to his way of life as Hitler was an enemy to the Jews. Because of this comment, ESPN did not play the intro Hank recorded for Monday Night Football. This was the first time in over 20 years that some rendition of "all my rowdy friends..." didn't precede MNF. Hank apologized, but that doesn't mean all is done.

This morning ESPN reported that they have parted ways with Hank, Jr., though Hank says he didn't get fired, he quit them. He quit them because: "By pulling my opening Oct 3rd, You (ESPN) stepped on the Toes of The First Amendment Freedom of Speech, so therefore Me, My Song, and All My Rowdy Friends are OUT OF HERE. It's been a great run."

I'm not here to debate the politics. Let me simply say Hank and I will never be seen at the same political fundraiser and that should just about do it. But for my point...

Hank Jr. says ESPN, a private company owned by the Disney Corporation infringed on his first amendment right to free speech. Hank, the first amendment says:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. (emphasis added)

Hank has just said that the Disney Corporation is Congress. Only Congress can infringe on that right, so Disney must be Congress, right? Wrong, of course. Disney isn't Congress, no matter how powerful Disney is, it still isn't Congress.

So no Hank, ESPN, Disney and everyone else did not infringe on your first amendment rights. In fact, you exercised your rights to say what you wanted to say. And ESPN and Disney exercised their rights to say we don't want to be affiliated with you anymore.

My dad used to have a word for this, consequences. Sure, go ahead and say and do whatever you want, but don't cry about it when you face the music... and in this case, the music isn't yours anymore. Sorry you've lost the only exposure you've gotten in years, but don't cross the water if you can't swim the tide. Your high school civics teacher wants you back for a refresher.

Now for the next question...Will ESPN find a half-way decent replacement to "All My Rowdy Friends" or have they cut off their nose to spite their face? Sure, they exercised their rights, and may have taken some sort of high road (or did Hank when he "apologized then quit"), but what comes next? That may be better than watching the Chiefs on MNF in a few weeks.

Sleep tight, Big Man

It's been a couple of weeks since the death of Clarence Clemons, also known as "Nick" or simply "The Big Man." It was my joy to have seen the E-Street Band at Kemper Arena in Kansas City during "The River Tour" on February 5, 1981.

First, it was a great show. Bruce was in jeans and a plaid shirt. The band wore blue suits and fedoras. It was great. For the second act, The Big Man came out in a blue leisure suit with cowboy boots and hat. It started close to an hour late, had a short intermission, three encores-the last one starting with Wilbert Harrison's "Kansas City," and lasted a total of four hours.

Yeah, Bruce and the band played for four hours.

I wondered what they would open with, was soon happy to hear the opening strains of "Prove It All Night" from "Darkness on the Edge of Town." What a great choice, great guitar solo, great sax solo and the night was off with a bang. The next song was "Tenth Avenue Freeze Out" and Bruce crowd surfed into the house. Finally people were just tossing him up and down chanting "Tenth" until it sounded like 14,000 people grunting through their noses.

During the second act, they did "Fire" and blew the roof off of Kemper Arena. They absolutely killed it.

The question has become "can the E-Street Band" go on? Well, at the Super Bowl the Tower of Power Horn Section played with the band, and it rocked. Of course, using six horns to replace one is just the mark of The Big Man's musical contribution. But his addition to the stage show is probably irreplaceable.

So sleep tight, Big Man. Rest well.

A Snarky Little Idea about the Football Lockout

I just saw a posting on Facebook from the Kansas City Chiefs about asking people to contribute to their Joplin Tornado Relief effort. Here's an idea: Pick 53 residents of Joplin, one for each spot on the roster, and have them pick a jersey belonging to a Chiefs player. On game day, the holder of that jersey gets that player's paycheck. Not the team, not the player, but a person whose life is devastated and doesn't have NFL football to help their lives feel even a little more normal.

New winners every week, one winner per household please. I think that would help more than me sending the Chiefs a case of water to send to Joplin.

It's been a long time since I just put up a music video, and I'm not quite sure what prompted me to seek this one out, but I'm not sorry. It's hard to imagine that this gem of progressive rock came from a six piece band out of Topeka, Kansas.

One night when I was in college I saw Rich Williams, the guitar player on the left side of the video, playing pool in a 3.2 beer bar in Topeka. Ah, nostalgia...

Congrats to Alan Parsons at the ACM Awards

Plagiarism, it's a nasty word for a nasty theft. Lady Antebellum has made a mint off of this ditty. Good for them. Is the Alan Parson's Project getting any love? Only from people who know where it came from first. Love the song or hate the song, these melodies are way too close to be a coincidence. Vanilla Ice thinks it's too close to be a coincidence.

On another note, I finally heard the whole song all the way though the other night. It's about a couple trying to hook up on a late night booty call. Ah yes, drunken emotionless sex, now that's record of the year material.

Paul reviews "Paul"

The UK Release Poster

Marie and I say "Paul" last night at the local cineplex and absolutely loved it. She could not stop laughing and neither could I. The movie contained some of the best sight gags I've ever seen. But honestly, there are some things about the movie you might not like.

1. If you don't like gay innuendo jokes, steer away.
2. If you don't like or get nerd humor, steer away.
3. If you are a fundamentalist Christian and really hate it when people make fun of you and your faith, don't even steer into the parking lot.

Honestly, this is going to be the focus of my review because it's a review of me. I really hated the way the writers, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost who also starred in the movie, dealt with fundamental Christians as people who are ignorant and simple. They treated the fundamentalist characters as less than human because they eschewed sophistication for faith in something greater who is the Creator (as they see the creator of course).

Frankly, I wasn't fond of this portrayal because I share enough of these prejudices that it makes me uncomfortable.

Now the movie was hilarious, I laughed out loud several times.  It's a great "fish out of water" movie.  It's a great "sure, we're nerds, but we are who we are" movie.  It's a great road trip movie.  It's a great buddy movie.  The love story, not so much but oh well, love stories in comedies that aren't romantic comedies always fall short. (So do the recent crop of romantic comedies, but that's another matter.) There's a sight gag at the end of the movie that's worth the price of admission.

But I can't get past the whole fundamentalist thing.  If you think you're smarter than a fundamentalist Christian and you think that makes you better than any fundamentalist Christian, well, then this won't bother you.  Honestly, I have to admit as I point this finger out, three others point back at me, and I'm paying attention.

I say let it bother you.  Reflect on what this type of joke says about us and how we look at humor.  We don't laugh at black-face any more.  We don't laugh at stoner humor (much) any more. Why do we make fun of people like that and when can we stop.

I recommend this movie, and so does Marie.  Just keep in mind, gay nerd fundamentalist Christians will want to spend money on another movie.

The Official Ladder of NCAA Basketball

Today I learned that Werner Ladders is the official ladder of NCAA Basketball.  Werner even makes a nine foot tall model exclusively for NCAA Basketball.  Yes, the official height of a basketball rim is ten feet so a nine foot ladder is perfect.

I don't know what makes me shake my head harder, that the NCAA would sell the rights to be the official provider of ladders, that someone would want to be the official provider of ladders, or that this partnership has been going on since at least 2008.  It's a push.

Welcome to America where we'll sell just about anything.

How the NCAA Should Punish Cheaters

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am a fan of the Arkansas Razorbacks.  I worked at the UofA in Fayetteville for several years around 2000 and that pig helped my family buy our first house, so I am a fan.  Also, I have to say that if the recent allegations against the Razorback Basketball program have merit, this or similar punishment also apply. Fair is fair.

Finally, I believe the Hogs beat themselves in the 2011 Sugar Bowl.  Mistakes plagued the team more than the Buckeyes.  Still, that doesn't change the score, Ohio State Beat the University of Arkansas and that's what will be remembered.

So, now that that's out of the way...

Jim Tressel, coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes, reported a violation of NCAA rules before the 2011 Sugar Bowl against the Arkansas Razorbacks.  The University and the NCAA came to an accommodation that allowed all of the players found in violation of NCAA rules to play in the Sugar Bowl in exchange for the suspension of the players for the first five games of the 2011 season.

As a Hog fan, I didn't like it, suspend the cheaters now, not later.  But alas, the deal was done.  There was talk of the deal being done in a "Don Corleone" way, I do this for you, you do this for me.  Was there fire?  I don't know, but I smelled smoke.

But according to reports, Ohio State Coach Jim Tressel knew more than he confessed. He got a deal, but "The Don" would never have taken the deal if there was more than was reported.  You never lie because the cover up will always be worse than the original crime.

Ohio State has suspended Coach Tressel for two games (against Toledo and Akron, please, my grandmother could coach Ohio State past Toledo and Akron and she's been dead fifteen years!) and fined him $250,000 (no matter how impressive that sounds, compared to what he has made as the head football coach of Ohio State it's not going to sting).

So, how should these cheaters be punished?

Vacate victories? Cut scholarships?

No and no.  Nobody would ever remember the vacated victories.  We remember games played, not games vacated, except for Bobby Bowden, and that's a horse of a different color.  As for vacating scholarships, there is not reason to punish a third string lineman for something a star does; and it's never going to be a star who will lose a scholarship.  Vacating scholarships hurts the wrong people.

So who should be hurt? How should they be hurt?

Here's my idea:  Force Ohio State to return its Sugar Bowl payout.  That's right, force Ohio State to return their $8.5 MILLION payout for playing the game.  That may get somebody ready to enforce the rules.  Tressel said he didn't know the rule so the players wouldn't have known either.  For $8.5 MILLION, I imagine the coach would make time for the school's enforcement coordinator, and believe me, they like all major programs have enforcement people.Further, any money that went to the Big Ten Conference from the Sugar Bowl should also be returned.

This way, nobody looks the other way.  When you begin to lose money for your school and the conference, people will stop looking the other way.

Also, while $8.5 MILLION isn't huge when compared to the expenditures of higher education and athletic departments, believe me, that'll leave a mark.  It's also 34 TIMES greater than Tressel will be fined.  We're leaving the ranks of chump change.

The greatest value of the NCAA is that they can negotiate better deals for schools, schools who follow the rules.  Violate the rules, hurt the team.  Violate the rules, hurt the conference.  Take the money from the cheaters, everything else is window dressing.

It Works for Pro Wrestling...

I have heard commentators say that great players who want to play with other great players is good for the NBA.  They say that having several superstars concentrated on teams like Miami, New York, Chicago, Boston, LA (the Lakers of course, not the Clippers) is good for the game.  As for the little sisters, Charlotte, Toronto, Cleveland, Sacramento, Milwaukee--well, somebody's gotta lose every night so it might as well be these guys, right?

It seems like a business model right out of World Wrestling Entertainment.  Their business model talks about popular wrestlers who get a "push" to increase their popularity and ultimately popularity.  The guys they beat up all week long, they're called "jobbers" because they're just there to do a job, to make the stars look good.  They also call them "ham and eggers" because they'll never be able to afford steak and eggs.

Miami has been getting a push all season long.  Toronto, they're just doin' a job.

So tonight, as Chicago takes on Toronto, just remember those ham and eggs are supposed to taste good.  That's all the NBA thinks your team is worth.