Church Advertisements on the Radio

Recently I have been thinking of church ads playing on local radio out of Marshall, Texas. Two in particular come to mind. One from an unnamed church (for reasons to come) and the other from Trinity Episcopal Church in Marshall.

Both ads feature the voice of the pastor offering a word and an invitation. As for the unnamed church the ad ends with the pastor saying "Follow me as I follow God." That has always made me a little queasy. It's just the reformed nature of my soul, but I would rather follow God. I would rather have a pastor who would have us all follow God together. In this case I get a sense that the pastor is a Sergeant in the Army of the Lord and we are buck privates.



By the way, this analogy allows me to post this video, Love it!

As for Trinity Episcopal, Father George begins his ad with this question: "Do you know that you are the beloved of God?"

Now I 've heard this ad thousands of times, literally. But one day, after an especially difficult day in the field, I heard this and it hit me in a brand new way.

So, based on 60 seconds of radio advertising where would I go? Honestly I'd go with the one who reminds me I am loved and makes me know I follow the Lord and not another man like me. I know Father George and have never met the other man. I judge the ministry they present based only on what they share on the radio here, what I share with you. Then I go with Isaiah, as for me and mine we will serve the Lord.

So when you're in Marshall, Texas tune in to ESPN 96.9 and judge for yourself.

Racial Equality, the Fight Continues in Even the Smallest Corners

If you are a regular follower of my blogs you know that I live in Marshall, Texas. The civil rights history of Marshall is long and storied. It is said the sit-in was invented here. 

At the Paramount Theater, if you were black during the eras before the 1960s, you walked past the front theater door where whites entered and rounded the corner to buy your ticket. You walked a steep flight of steps to enter and sat in the "Buzzard's Roost." Blacks weren't allowed to sit with whites, obvious in Jim Crow Marshall, but blacks weren't even allowed to enter with whites. CORE founder James L. Farmer Jr. who grew up in Marshall was so incensed that he went to Washington in 1941 to fight for civil rights.

The 1949 film "Pinky" became the subject of a tremendous battle when the city fathers decided it could not be shown in Marshall because the picture depicts "(1) a white man retaining his love for a woman after learning that she is a Negro, (2) a white man kissing and embracing a Negro woman, (3) two white ruffians assaulting Pinky after she has told them she is colored."The cinema owner was convicted of violating the ruling and was fined $200. He appealed the conviction all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court where he eventually won his appeal.

I mention this because Marshall Cinema is showing "White House Down" this week. It's the story of Channing Tatum saving the President of the United States played by Jamie Foxx from home grown terrorists. To the right you will see how it's posted on the Marshall Cinema website (as of July 6, 2013 at 10:30 am).

As you can see, this movie evidently doesn't star Jamie Foxx. It stars Maggie Gyllenhaal. Really? Yes, she's in the movie and she's important to the action but she isn't the star of the show. It's Tatum and Foxx, and for one reason or another Jamie Foxx isn't on the bill. 

Even in the smallest corners of our nation and our cybernation, discrimination exists. There is no other reason I can imagine leaving Jamie Foxx off of their web page. Do people not know? Are people so afraid of Jamie Foxx that even though his picture is on the page his name dare not be listed? Is Maggie Gyllenhaal a bigger draw? 

I find it hard to consider, but not so hard to believe, that even in the quietest moments, in the smallest corners of the internet, this fight has to continue.

Thanks to the Shreveport Times, http://www.shreveporttimes.com/article/20080217/LIVING/802160309/On-trail-history-Marshal-Texas-offers-black-heritage-tour

and Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinky_(film)

The Official Ladder of NCAA Basketball

Today I learned that Werner Ladders is the official ladder of NCAA Basketball.  Werner even makes a nine foot tall model exclusively for NCAA Basketball.  Yes, the official height of a basketball rim is ten feet so a nine foot ladder is perfect.

I don't know what makes me shake my head harder, that the NCAA would sell the rights to be the official provider of ladders, that someone would want to be the official provider of ladders, or that this partnership has been going on since at least 2008.  It's a push.

Welcome to America where we'll sell just about anything.

Alcopop

Isn't that a great word, Alcopop! Alcopops are a variety of alcoholic beverage that comes premixed with a variety of other ingredients to enhance taste or whatever.

Some beverages in this category include the Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, and the recently notorious Four Loco Energy Drink.

My favorite in this category is Sparks. On the label, it plainly tells all who will imbibe in this fine beverage that it contains Yellow Number Five.

Thank God, that old Yellow #4 is just vile.

Have You Ever Been to Marshall, Texas in the Winter?

If you have never been to Marshall, Texas in the winter, you are missing a wonderland.

Marie and I saw the lighting of the courthouse lights on the day before Thanksgiving and it was a joy. The Chamber brought in Rhema Marvanne to do a show and it was great. If you've never heard her, follow the link. The most wonderful thing about this young singer is that even with such powerful pipes, she is still a seven year old girl. She's not twenty-two in a seven year old's body nor is she forty-eight in a seven year old's body. She's seven and that's special.

There are light shows all over Marshall with bus tours and horse drawn carriages to see them in.

There's even an outdoor ice rink on the square.

There's only a few days left to see it all, so come on down. For details, check out http://visitmarshalltexas.org/ on the internet. See you soon!

Tiger Woods Nike Commercial With Earl Woods

Well, so be it, here's my take on this Tiger & Earl Woods ad for Nike.

First, let's remember that Tiger is the most reclusive athlete in North America. His yacht is called "Privacy." Hermits think it's nice when they see him out and about. You get the idea, this guy's all about golf, and now we discover, women.

BTW, the first mistress doesn't get to complain about the other mistresses being "the other woman." Just sayin'...

Now, the voice over, courtesy of Earl Woods, Tiger's father, asks the musical question, "I want to find out what your thinking was, I want to find out what your feelings are, and did you learn anything."

Why did Nike and Tiger put this out? If there is one thing we can say for sure about Tiger it is that he will never answer these questions, not in public, probably not in private, and probably not in the deep corners of his mind. It's his nature.

Further, no answer he gives will satisfy our quest for remorse or repentance. That's the world's nature.

So... congrats Tiger, you have done the one thing that can make matters worse, you and Nike asked a question only you can answer, but we know you won't. In the meantime, since Lefty is too big to say so, Phil Mickelson says "thanks."

Marketing, that's right, Marketing

SI on Campus.com recently reported the "Top 10 most bizarre college memorabilia" on the list and on the shelf at our Dollar General Store you will find this little item, as described by author Darcie Baum:

10. University of Arkansas: Razorbacks gum
The Razorbacks gum is actually a good idea. No one wants to have stale beer breath at the post-game party. And what better way to freshen up and show school spirit than with your team's own chew? Save those carbs for the Beast Ice, because this gum is sugarfree!

Woo! Pig! Chewy! Razorback Gum!

The Wilkinson Sword--Ick!

The US version of this ad is not quite so flagrant in its visuals. When I saw the US version the first time, it began to dawn on me that the way the bushes are trimmed are way that... well, you know.

The difference between the UK and US versions is the "topiary in progress."

But if you want to see something truly different, check out the expanded version of this ad:



"Tulips on the mound." Yeah... I guess.

Another Flawed Product Name

Condom maker Trojan has just introduced a new product called "Trojans2Go."

Frankly, I always thought of condoms as a "to go" kind of purchase. Imagine that conversation at your local drugstore.

There's No Crying in Plagerism

The Bravo Cable Network's show "Make Me A Supermodel" has begun another season. This week's episode features the models wearing what appears to be gold body make-up and the weirdest hair styles devised by chimps, or that's what the ad looked like to me. Evidently one of the models begins to weep. Maybe she had a brief fit of self-esteem?

Anyway, one of the judges cries out "There's no crying in modeling." Theft is so unbecoming on a supermodel judges panel.

Friends, let me show you how the line should be delivered as it was in the movie "A League of Their Own." Please, enjoy.

It's Always a-Little-Somethin-Something

Marie found a blog on FanHouse about a company denied the opportunity to put a print ad in the Super Bowl program. It was an ad for a website called AshleyMadison.com. Their pitch was a scantilly dressed woman hovering aluringly over a football with the tag line "WHO Are You Doing After the Game?"

As far as I can tell, this is not a hoax. The company's web site says that since 2001 they have set up halves of married cuples for a-little-somethin-somethin on the side. Their slogan says it all, "Life Is Short, Have an Affair."

They even have a guarantee! This comes from their website:

Under the AshleyMadison.com Affair Guarantee Program, (the "Affair Guarantee Program" or the "Program") if you don't find someone within the initial 3 months after purchasing the "Affair Guarantee" Membership Package, we'll refund you $249, being the amount you paid for participating in the Program (the "Refund").

First of all, this is not a promotion for the services of AshleyMadison.com. If you're thinking of having an affair, tell your spouse. When your partner asks for a divorce, you'll be able to beat the rush and find that someone new.

Second, and here's the genious, buying an ad in the Super Bowl Program gets your "product" into say, 100,000 programs, many of which won't be cracked open because collectors want unblemished spines. What's the use of buying the ad space with that kind of exposure.

But by applying and getting rejected, the company now has all the free publicity it wants. People are talking about it, yes even little old me. That's genious.

Truth in Advertising...For What It's Worth

I just saw an ad for the new "Budweiser American Ale." They touted it as a "top fermented ale." Big deal all ales are top fermented! That's a part of the definition of an ale.

That's like saying you like dawn because that's when the sun comes up.

As far as advertising goes, this is completely true and utterly meaningless.

As a former bar manager (Buzzard Beach, Westport, Kansas City, Missouri, USA), let me recommend a couple of beers:

Pilsner: Aass Pilsner (pron. Ouse), Norway. There are about 27 places in America you can find this stuff. They also make a superior bock and Christmas ale. For a wider distribution, check out the original, Pilsner Urquell.

Ale: Chimay-Brewed by the Trappist Monks of Chimay Abbey. When I worked the bar, I would always say "If I were poor, celebate, and European I'd be making this stuff. Instead, since I was poor, celebate, and American I'm selling it." Start with the red label, try them all.

photo from Beer.About.com

Here Comes Santa Cross

I found this little ditty at HomileticsOnline.com, where they report it qualifies as an urban legend. Still, I thought it deserved a hearing:

In the 1960's, Tokyo's largest department store decided to have its first-ever Christmas display. On the first day of Advent, the management called in the VIP's of the city's British colony for an unveiling. The nonpulsed bigwigs were confronted by the biggest Santa they had ever seen... nailed to a cross.

What makes me think this is an urban legend, frankly, I have no idea what is meant by "Tokyo's British colony." This seems odd and puts it in question for me. Then we can mention the outright absurdity of the whole thing. Sing with me, Here comes Santa Cross, Here Comes Santa Cross....

But regardless of the truth, is there greater Truth in this? In my thinking, one of two things is happening:

1. People with absolutely no concept of either Christianity or Western Culture bungled this thing to a degree that deserves applause (or a Monty Python skit), or
2. The people who created this thing were doing social commentary (whether intentional or not) that should make none of us comfortable.

I couldn't tell you, and if it's an urban legend then it's just academic. These two options are where I start. But when Marie read this to me today, I took a look at our culture and see what we have done with the holiday season and wonder if this story isn't a funhouse mirror reflection.

Our local Wal-Mart (did you know I lived in Arkansas, USA?) cleaned out the Halloween stuff at midnight on November 1st and started putting up Christmas. Chirstmas cookies hit the shelves the moment the pumpkin pies were sold out at Thanksgiving. To me this story shows a picture (caricature?) of what Christmas in the West has become, a mix of the religion and secular symbols which ultimately point to places we don't really want to go.

Santa on the cross is sick, but the consumer economy and culture in this country seems to be unconsciously comfortable with this image.

This Just In!

Last night, I was flying through the channels and I noticed that the "Big Three" news channels, Fox, CNN, and MSNBC all had at the bottom of the screen a tab that said "BREAKING NEWS." Then on each network, the crawl under the tab had a different story. Can they all be breaking news?

I wonder if America hasn't become a nation of "urgency junkies." Everything has to be a disaster to get our attention. As for me, the opposite is now true. So much stuff on the news is "breaking" that now, I just gloss right over it.

And often when I do pay attention, I find that what is urgent is just an ad for what will be on the news magazine show later. It's not news, it's a teaser to get me to keep watching.

So what stories were they trumpettng last night? I have no idea. I watched "Dodgeball" on FX. Give me a funny movie over a shill any day.

Advertising Age

So I am watching the SciFi Channel this weekend, and an ad comes on TV for their new series "Sanctuary." In the ad, they tell the viewer to watch because there will be a preview of the new movie "Quarantine." Then then showed about a ten second snip of the movie.

YES! They have done it! They have not only put an advertisement into an advertisement, they put a clip of a movie into a clip for a TV show. I had never seen the double with a full twist done outside of a diving competition before, but there you have it! My marketing professor would be so proud!