Living with Regret

Please, cue the maudlin music...

The past couple of months have had more than their fair share of pain and disappointment. Far more than their fair share. Now I sit here staring at my monitor and wondering about all of those things that I wish had never been.

Do you know how some folks say that they live life without regret? In my opinion, people who can live life without regret have either never tried to live life and don't know any better or are so selfish and so far beyond self-reflection that they truly have no sense of regret.

As for me, this sense was overdeveloped and I regret much.

I have hurt people in my life, this is true. I too have been hurt. There are scars on my heart that wrench every time my chest beats. Sorrow and remorse fill me like Billie Holiday, and as she once sang, "Mama may have, and Papa may have, but God bless the child who's got his own."

But here's the thing about remorse. To say that you have no remorse is to say that you are without sin. To say that you have done everything to perfection is to say that you have no need for God. Not good.

Yes, regret is necessary. Regret says that you have failed, it says that you are human. Remorse recognizes we have hurt others, we have sinned against others. It opens the door for us to say that we need Christ in our lives. It opens the door to Christ.

There are a good many mistakes I have made in my life. I live with the consequences of them everyday. But two of these consequences are life in Christ and the love of my wife. Her love itself a gift from God.

These mistakes have made me the man I am today, both for better and for worse.

Thanks be to God. Amen.