Lies My Father Told Me, Mother's Edition

Not long after I found out about my Father's other family, my mother asked me how I was dealing with it. I told her that while there was a lot to chew on, ultimately it was all done. I love my father and he loves me. She was happy with that answer. It wasn't until her funeral that I discovered why.

As our mother fought on her deathbed, a fight that we knew would be fruitless, my sisters went looking for the will. They were trying to get all of the paper ducks in a row before the big moment. It was the right thing to do, but it doesn't come without its pitfalls. In fact, my older sister didn't find the will for another couple of days, but she did find some other paperwork. This is how she discovered that our father wasn't the only one who had a previous spouse, my mother had a first husband too. Now for the big question? The one that still causes us to scratch our collective heads? Who is my sister's father? Is it husband #1 or husband #2. She doesn't know. None of us know.

The day after my mother died we met with the pastor about the service. By this time my older sister was racked with questions but I was still oblivious. Pastor Terry asked if there was anything we wanted to tell our mother. My sister bit her tongue, but the thought raged through her mind, "Hell yes, I've got something I'd like to tell you!" She told me this story that evening... with a big bottle of whiskey.

So what's the lie? Your secrets die with you. Trust me, that ain't so. And by this little secret, my sister now wonders about most of the parenting decisions our folks made, and how it colored her parenting. Here's a hard truth, sometimes the truth sucks. Theologically I'd say that's the nature of sin. Any way the wind blows, it's lies and the nature of lies that gum up the whole system, especially when we think we can take the whole kit-and-caboodle all the way to our graves.

...and people wonder why I have trust issues.