Dear Jaguar Driver,
Congrats to the candidate in the 5th District that you support. The way you parallel park I wouldn't trust you to pick the winner of a two-horse race in the fifth given three choices. When you parallel park in two spaces you show the world that you are more important, your car is more expensive, and the rest of us can walk from downtown as far as you're concerned. You show that your candidate will protect your interests and the interests of every Jaguar driver in Harrison County, Texas and that is someone every farmer, rancher, and oilman in East Texas can get behind! Oh, and if you're the candidate so much the better.
Hoping you get a flat on the highway and your cell phone is dead, Paul
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