The Presbyterian Food Stamp Challenge

The Presbyterian Church (USA) recently did a food stamp challenge (view Outlook link here) to show how difficult it is to feed a family using the SNAP program's dietary guidelines. I commend everyone of the 300 Presbyterians who signed up to see how the other half lives. Unfortunately, they really didn't get a full view of how the other half lives, not from someone on this side of the poverty line.

You see, as you know, I am an ordained minister (Teaching Elder, whatever) in the Presbyterian Church (USA). The congregation I served chose to quit meeting together at the end of January this year. While I received a generous severance package, all things come to an end. To an end they came at the end of June. I was able to stretch the cash part of the severance out for a while longer, but the insurance ended promptly on June 30, 2013. That $711.25 has been coming out of my pocket ever since.

On a side note, the reason we kept this insurance is that we did not want to start our deductibles and copays over again. That would not have been cost effective.

As I was unable to secure any employment in my small East Texas town so I relied on God's generous blessings. Through friends, churches, and the SNAP program my wife and I were able to keep our heads above water. We are housed. Our car was paid off one month after I lost my job and some rather pricey repairs were covered--as was car insurance. Monthly expenses like gas and phone, because you gotta have a phone if you're looking for work, were covered for a while by several churches where I preached as pulpit supply, a real blessing.

Then it happened, our SNAP benefits were around $340 per month for two adults, one with special dietary needs. When it came time to reapply our benefits were cut, they were cut to $15 per month. Not by $15 per month but to $15 per month. This wasn't because of any political posturing as both my Republican and Democratic friends were so quick to point out.

The reason our benefits were cut were because I reported we got help and I reported I spent it on health insurance. You see, the State of Texas, the state of my residence, believes I should be spending my money on food and not on health.

So I have looked for jobs in the church, sending Pastor Information Forms to over 160 congregations where God has not called me. I have sent applications to banks, colleges, restaurants, tutoring services, pawn shops, and more places than I can remember. I finally have an interview and God willing will have incoming income soon.

You have been patient with me but now I imagine you would like me to come to the point. Years ago I worked in a Student Support Services TRIO program serving low income students. I thought this gave me a better idea of what it was like to be poor in America and I wasn't really wrong. Then I became a seminary student and a pastor in two different very small rural churches. While the blessings are wonderful they aren't monetary, I got a better idea of what living in poverty looked like. My wife's health began to deteriorate and she has been unable to work for five years--between loss of income and increase of medical expenses we are getting a real first hand view of poverty.

The point of my story is that nobody who took The Presbyterian Food Stamp Challenge unknowingly choose between health insurance and food stamps. Who would ever make that choice knowingly. Who would have ever thought that would be a forced choice.

In the end we're not that far from sleeping in the car. Only the Grace of God and the help of good friends has kept us out of it so far. So thanks to anyone who has spared us a room. Thanks to everyone who has sent us a check--and some of you have been quite generous. Blessings to all who have prayed for us because we have had some very rough patches too. And thanks to the 300 of you who tried to see how the other half lived. God bless us all.

Heroes of the Faith

People often wonder which person in the bible they most resemble. The most assertive of us pick Paul or Deborah. Some of us who are good disciples who are also known to say the wrong thing from time to time pick Peter.

As for me, I'm a lot like this guy from Mark's gospel...

When the whole crowd saw him, they were immediately overcome with awe, and they ran forward to greet him. He asked them, “What are you arguing about with them?” Someone from the crowd answered him, “Teacher, I brought you my son; he has a spirit that makes him unable to speak; and whenever it seizes him, it dashes him down; and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid; and I asked your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.” He answered them, “You faithless generation, how much longer must I be among you? How much longer must I put up with you? Bring him to me.” And they brought the boy to him. When the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. It has often cast him into the fire and into the water, to destroy him; but if you are able to do anything, have pity on us and help us.” Jesus said to him, “If you are able!—All things can be done for the one who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:15-24, NRSV)

Those of you who know scripture know Jesus healed the boy, telling his disciples that to banish this spirit requires prayer. Those of you who didn't, well, spoiler alert.

What I love about this man is his honesty, "I believe; help my unbelief!" He knows who Jesus is and he knows what can happen when Emmanuel, God with us, is with us. Still, the things he has seen in his life cause him not to believe.

I know how he feels.

In seminary, they teach us something important about the kingdom of God, it is happening now, and it's not happening yet. We do live in a world where Christ is King of kings. He is Lord of lords. There is nothing that he cannot do. There is no foe he cannot face. Jesus of Nazareth who died conquered death. He conquered death. Yet, we live in a world where politicians fight for what we laughingly call power. Despots behave like "little tin gods." Horror and shame thrive where there should be peace and grace. We live in a world where it looks like God can be ignored, like Jesus' redeeming work has no effects at all. We live in a world that is redeemed, yet we can't turn on the news without knowing that the world doesn't look like it has been.

The redeeming work of Christ is done; now, but not yet.

This is how I live into this Father's words, "I believe; help my unbelief!" I believe, I know. Yet I also know the pain and despair and shame this world heaps on its inhabitants.

To me, this man's heroism is his honesty, before the Lord his God he knows and he tells the whole truth. He knows and he fears and he shares both with Jesus and with the world. He may not have made his way into Hebrews 11 nor will he ever be listed among the great heroes of scripture. Despite his place in history I say this, he's a hero.

He's one of my heroes. The greater hero of course is Jesus. He did what he said he would do. He did everything he said he would do. That is heroic.

Snark, my Sense of Humor, and American Politics

Dear Friends,
Those of you who know me at all know I have a tremendous and vast sense of humor. I find all sorts of things funny and look to find humor in every situation, usually successfully. Those of you who know me well know that from time to time my sense of humor can be snarky. Or sarcastic. Or downright dark. I try to keep those down to a minimum. I tend to keep that part of my sense of humor out of my professional life.

Side note: Those who know me socially are asking "That's a minimum?" My best answer is "Yes, now imagine what I self edit... Now imagine what I only share with my wife... " This is when we all nominate the wonderful Marie for sainthood.

The reason I haven't updated this blog recently is because I haven't had much to say, and the things that I thought I might share were best self edited. Readers who have experienced recent postings, especially the "Lies my father/mother told me" series, are wiping their brows in gladness. This is one of the few times the phrase "thank you for not sharing" is appropriate. It's not a proud moment, but still.

I will never lose my sense of humor. Nor will I lose every element of my sense of humor, but here's something very important-- I am sick of the level of snark I have seen in the past ten years. Let me make this very clear, if I've had it up to here with snark it's probably drowning mortals. What pushed me over the edge? The current debate on the Affordable Healthcare Act.

I find much of it disingenuous. Before President Obama was inaugurated Congressional Republicans publicly declared their goal over "the next four years is to make President Obama a one-term president." While the strategy didn't work that doesn't prevent its continuation.

But don't let Congressional Democrats off the hook. They're just as bad, nobody has cornered the market on "disingenuous." The party of my inclination is just as able to brew a tempest in a teapot. The reason I don't list any is that I have read so many Facebook posts and memes about how Democrats impede government sending America into poverty that I don't need to. If you disagree with my politics you have your own laundry list.

Important point! I don't hate the people who disagree with me! I need the people who disagree with me! People who challenge me and what I believe give me perspectives that challenge what I believe and make my beliefs stronger. You may make me either affirm or change what I believe, and either way it still makes me stronger, not weaker!

But the level of snark from both sides of the Congressional aisle don't challenge me. They now disgust me. As for me, on this day, I believe there's enough blame to go around. Again, enough blame to go around. As Shakespeare said, "a pox on both of your houses. Both of your houses!"

About fifteen years ago my father had an epiphany in Missouri state races. All of the men running for office, Democrats and Republicans both, were acting like idiot blowhards. The women on the other hand were measured and constructive. Today I look at Michelle Bachman and Hillary Clinton and wonder what happens once you reach a certain point. It's the Peter Principle of American Politics. I despair this once workable solution is now improbable.

If you want to accuse me of being snarky right now I want to plead "not guilty" but will probably settle for "no contest." I'm trying to express myself without going over the edge right now (and on a second reading too out things that were too close to the edge of snark for my comfort), but that is the tight rope I now choose to walk. That's the abyss I'm not going to throw myself into anymore, God help me.

So friends, please know that my sense of humor will remain sharp. My stories will still be funny. My puns will still be flowing like a river. And I seek to quit wasting my time and yours on snark, especially political snark. Now that's a load off my chest.

Love you all,
Paul

A Retirement Party

Dear friends, allow me to introduce you to my New Balance 295's. I got them in Austin while in Seminary. I wore them while walking a two plus mile path for about two years while there. I have worn them while walking the track in Berryville, Arkansas. I wore them walking in Marshall, Texas. They've been around.

I even wore them while walking in Mexico. Mexico, Missouri that is--65265. It's the home of the Mexico Military Academy and the Miss Missouri Pageant. It's also where I was born and where my parents died.

So to say the least, these shoes have been around the block. They've gone through several insole replacements. They have carried me far and well. But today is their day.

The soles, while still having some tread, have failed internally. The roll bars now roll in ways they should not. They have been replaced by a new Nike. It's a good shoe, but I just don't see them lasting eleven years like these NB's.

Thanks for the support.

Again, we need your help

Add

Friends, 
The photo you see here is from our first date, seventeen years ago... oh what those kids didn't know then...

I have been unemployed now for over eight months. When the church closed I received a five month severance package. Because of friends and being frugal Marie and I have made this stretch three more months. Food stamps and odd jobs helped, but now we have reached the end of our rope and need your help again. 

We have medical bills from now to the end of the year that will come to over $5,000.00. Insurance alone will take 70% ($700 per month for five months-$3,500.00) of this. Medicine will chew up several hundred each month too. The rest is for copays.

Please know I don't come to this lightly. Many of you have helped with our car--help that covered all but $60 of that expense. In the meantime, I have applied to work at more than 100 different churches nationwide, all three local colleges, the Cable TV company, and dozens of other companies. It's not that I'm unwilling to work, but I am unable to find a job.

Friends, by God's grace I pray you can help.
Paul

XTerra Update

A bill from Orr Nissan, and the check that paid the bill.

Dear Friends,
This picture is a bill from Orr Nissan in Shreveport, Louisiana. It covers a timing belt, water pump, heater core, and coolant overflow hose along with enough labor to tear it down and put it back together again. The check that covers the bill, literally and figuratively, was made possible through your generosity.

On July 10 I posted our first request online for help. Unemployment stinks and unemployment in East Texas without a working vehicle is impossible. We could have sold the vehicle to get a new one, but that would have netted us about $1,500 to buy something and it's not 1988 anymore. You can't even get a wreck in Marshall for that kind of money.

This is where I don't know how many of you joined us in prayer that we might get the help we need. Prayers were answer. Twenty-three of you decided to lend us a financial hand via the PayPal route. Your generosity has provided $2,500.00. Four others mailed us checks totaling $350.00. We also received another $350.00 in cash from four other people. This comes to... you guessed it... $3,200.00.  That was more than close enough to the total needed to pay the bill to make me dance in the streets.

When I posted this good news on Facebook, I also shared thanks and praise to God. Then Moishe Sachs, a friend from Santa Fe Trail Elementary School, wrote,  "Maybe more than is apparent; the check is made out to Orr (light in Hebrew) & Nissan, from the word in Hebrew meaning miracle, ness." Moishe is right, this is a miracle from the Light of God. Amen.

He also noted how glorious it is that an observant Jew and a progressive Presbyterian can get together and praise God. Amen Moishe, amen. God has blessed us through you. God bless all of you who helped.

Of course that's not all we need...

We still need another $1,000.00 for a tune up, but that's not urgent. That's not going to keep us off the road.

Another thing we need is a job. Friends, I think I've proven I'm not too proud to beg. I need a job. If you have any leads or friends with leads for someone with a bachelor's in business, two master's degrees, ten-plus years in Higher Education and over seven in ministry (and five in the "hospitality industry") I would love to talk to you.

If you want to help financially, the link is still active. (Still not a tax dedutable contribution.) Click the "Donate" button  and enter paandresen@aol.com when it asks for "To (Their email address)"



If you have a line on a job, email me at PAAndresen@aol.com. We can arrange phone contact or even lunch from there.

In the meantime, praise God and thank you for your help

Affirmation

There are days when it seems that nothing I say or do matters a lick in this world. Sometimes, on those days, I yell at the universe to see if anybody is listening. In the internet age this usually saying something or sharing something on Facebook or on my blogs.

Some days the universe answers and some days it doesn't. That's just the way it is. Then there are the days when the universe yells back at you. I've never had one of those days, but I have friends and acquaintances who know that feeling way too well. One friend wrote a blog post asking the world why private citizens need automatic and assault weapons at all. Believe me, the universe yelled back that day.

But sometimes, sometimes it's not a scream but a whisper that makes it worth while.

I preached at St. Andrew Presbyterian Church on July 14th. St. Andrew recently lost their pastor and until recently were seeking an interim pastor. I was among a number of local pastors who filled the pulpit during the process. So walking down the hallway on that Sunday morning, a teenager came up to me, gave me a big hug around the neck, and said, "Oh good, you're my favorite."

I posted the girl's comment on Facebook and a friend from Junior High wrote, "It was like God sent someone to let you know He knows." This made me smile almost as much. No yelling at the universe, just a simple word from a teenager, and the love of God welcomes me saying, "You're doing what I want you to do. Keep it up. You don't need to shout."

Thanks Megan. Thanks Debbie. Some days I don't think anything I do matters. Other days I find out that it does matter. God bless you all.