A Theology of Preaching in Ten Words or Less

In the Presbyterian Church (USA), a part of the process of seeking a call (in layman's terms--ministers looking for a job), part of the process is the candidate preaching a sermon in a "neutral pulpit." It's not preached at the chruch the candidate presently serves and it's not preached at the church seeking to call the candidate.

One day, as this was being explained to a congregation that would supply the "neutral pulpit" for a church and candidate, the man on the right of this picture, the Rev. Dr. Stan Hall, whispered in a voice that makes mine seem like a refugee from a boy's choir, "There is no such thing as a neutral pulpit."

The seminarians sittng around him, including me, fought to stifle a laugh. The pastor, who just happened to be Stan's wife Gail, said "It appears Dr. Hall has something to say about this." After chruch, Gail gave Marie (my wife) permission to hit Stan if he acts up again.

Still, after several classes in Homiletics, the study of Christian proclamation, I have not found a better or more consise theology of preaching.

"There is no such thing as a neutral pulpit."

Stan died about a year ago. God bless Stan. Go with God. Thanks for everything.

I'm Gettng Older

Yesterday I heard on the radio that Arby's has a service where you can send a text message and get the day's special. Now I don't know how this works. I guess you show the text message to the cashier and they hit a couple of buttons on the cash register and everything works out. For me there are two problems.

First, the closest Arby's restaurant is about 25 miles away.

Second, I don't know how to send a text. (Head hung low.)

That's right, I have gone from tech savvy to codger in a span of about 10 years. I can get and read a text message, but I don't know how to send one. I have turned the corner. Alas.

OJ's Sentenced

Weeks ago, I posted a comment on OJ's conviction, today I post on his sentencing. OJ has been sentenced to 15 years in a Nevada prison for kidnapping, robbery, and a gun charge. I have heard reports that he will have to serve between five and six years before being eligible for parole.

I have also heard OJ will have to thank his lucky stars that the judge did not sentence him to consecutive sentences, because he could have been forced to serve at least 18 years before parole eligibility.

Gee, I wonder if he'll find the "real killer" while he's there.

Ring a Bell

Today I was a Salvation Army bell ringer. The Berryville Rotary Club rings the bell every year at the local WalMart and today was our day. (Can it be any more small town than that?) I spent three hours out on the line today. It may not have been cold for Canada, but for Arkansas, between 20 and 35 degrees fahrenheit is just plain cold. Still, ringing the bell, watching people give, and knowing where it goes makes me warm.

What is amazing is how generous people are. Even more amazing is that the people who look like they can least afford to give-do give-and give generously. The money raised in these kettles will go to the Salvation Army in Carroll County, Arkansas, USA. Thanks to local Salvation Army coordinator Ed Leswig for asking our help. Thanks to Berryville Rotarians for giving their time. Thanks to all who chose to give in the red kettle today.

And all glory to God.

Please give where you see the bell ringers or at SalvationArmyUSA.org.

So Close, but No Cigar

Arianna Huffington was just John Stewart's guest on the The Daily Show on Comedy Central. Among their topics, she was talking about blogging and how wonderful blogging is. Trying to do some reflection, Stewart asked, "So it's like intimacy without personal contact?" and she replied "Yes."

[I hope they post the clip. If they do, I'll imbed it.]

Hummm, computer (check), intimacy (check), no personal contact (check).

I heard that sort of thing would make me go blind.

Truth in Advertising...For What It's Worth

I just saw an ad for the new "Budweiser American Ale." They touted it as a "top fermented ale." Big deal all ales are top fermented! That's a part of the definition of an ale.

That's like saying you like dawn because that's when the sun comes up.

As far as advertising goes, this is completely true and utterly meaningless.

As a former bar manager (Buzzard Beach, Westport, Kansas City, Missouri, USA), let me recommend a couple of beers:

Pilsner: Aass Pilsner (pron. Ouse), Norway. There are about 27 places in America you can find this stuff. They also make a superior bock and Christmas ale. For a wider distribution, check out the original, Pilsner Urquell.

Ale: Chimay-Brewed by the Trappist Monks of Chimay Abbey. When I worked the bar, I would always say "If I were poor, celebate, and European I'd be making this stuff. Instead, since I was poor, celebate, and American I'm selling it." Start with the red label, try them all.

photo from Beer.About.com

Here Comes Santa Cross

I found this little ditty at HomileticsOnline.com, where they report it qualifies as an urban legend. Still, I thought it deserved a hearing:

In the 1960's, Tokyo's largest department store decided to have its first-ever Christmas display. On the first day of Advent, the management called in the VIP's of the city's British colony for an unveiling. The nonpulsed bigwigs were confronted by the biggest Santa they had ever seen... nailed to a cross.

What makes me think this is an urban legend, frankly, I have no idea what is meant by "Tokyo's British colony." This seems odd and puts it in question for me. Then we can mention the outright absurdity of the whole thing. Sing with me, Here comes Santa Cross, Here Comes Santa Cross....

But regardless of the truth, is there greater Truth in this? In my thinking, one of two things is happening:

1. People with absolutely no concept of either Christianity or Western Culture bungled this thing to a degree that deserves applause (or a Monty Python skit), or
2. The people who created this thing were doing social commentary (whether intentional or not) that should make none of us comfortable.

I couldn't tell you, and if it's an urban legend then it's just academic. These two options are where I start. But when Marie read this to me today, I took a look at our culture and see what we have done with the holiday season and wonder if this story isn't a funhouse mirror reflection.

Our local Wal-Mart (did you know I lived in Arkansas, USA?) cleaned out the Halloween stuff at midnight on November 1st and started putting up Christmas. Chirstmas cookies hit the shelves the moment the pumpkin pies were sold out at Thanksgiving. To me this story shows a picture (caricature?) of what Christmas in the West has become, a mix of the religion and secular symbols which ultimately point to places we don't really want to go.

Santa on the cross is sick, but the consumer economy and culture in this country seems to be unconsciously comfortable with this image.