Dez Bryant and the NFL, Chapter Two

A couple of weeks ago, I posted this blog about Dallas Cowboy's Rookie Dez Bryant and hazing in the NFL. In short, I wrote that Bryant should have said what he was going to do, not what he wasn't going to do.

Also, if he wanted to do it with swagger, swag away.

Well, Roy Williams finally got Dez Bryant "paid back" for his "disrespect," and it cost in the neighborhood of $55,000. Follow the ESPN link here. Oh well, it could have been worse.

On another note, some of the comments on the article say that he should have donated that money to a food bank or other sort of place. Well, I just want to say, and as a minister you might expect that I would say, he should donate more than just $55K to a food bank or a homeless shelter or a battered women's shelter or his church or the United Way or to his college or to folks who can use it to make life better. As for where the donations are to go, sure, I have my own ideas about giving, I just hope he does give.

An apology...

Dear America,
If you were on the highways and byways of our beautiful nation over the past few days, you might have seen me on the road. I was the guy driving a 27' U-Haul truck at varying speeds depending upon the terrain.

I have a bit of a lead foot myself, though I have no tickets since I got married. (Yes, there is a causal relationship between these two items.) So I've been frustrated behind all sorts of vehicles in all sorts of conditions.

Well, over the past two days I have been the problem instead of the solution. So let me just apologize and tell you that we unload the vehicle today and we will again be overlarge vehicle free. Praise God!

Yours in overdrive, Paul

Now that'll work...

My wife was feeling a little irregular a while ago, so her mother sent this "recipe" to help take care of that:

Mix together:
1 Cup apple sauce
1 Cup coarse unprocessed bran
3/4 Cup prune juice

Mixture will be like a thick paste
Refrigerate in a covered container

Take in the evening for a morning BM
Increase bran mix by two table spoons each week until BM's are regular
Always take one glass of water with mixture

A diet high in fiber and drinking at least 6-8 glasses of water daily can also help with bowel management during the recovery period.

Let's just say that my name for this concoction sounds a lot like "Weapon of Mass Destruction." My wife also noted that the whole "increase bran mix by two table spoons each week" was highly unnecessary.

This is the sort of mix that takes Jamie Lee Curtis' yogurt and leaves it in the dust.

I am not a doctor nor do I play one on television. I received this information and share it in a humorous vein. As with all "medical" advice, please contact your doctor.

Ode to Merlin

Here's a question, where do you see Christ in your life. The answer for me is easy, I see Christ everyday in my wife Marie. I see her reflecting the light of God everyday. There is no better example of her love than in her choice of pets.

This is Merlin. We, rather, she adopted him from the Good Shepherd Humane Society in Eureka Springs, Arkansas soon after we moved to Berryville. Marie didn't pick the prettiest kitty at the shelter, oh no. She selected the cat who needed love and a home more than any of the other cats at the shelter.

We don't know about his life before the shelter, but we suspect it wasn't good. We do know that Merlin had been returned by his first adopted family. They were looking for a cat who would be a kitty for a family with small kids, and that was not Merlin's demeanor.

I know that cat's don't have facial expressions, but Merlin's continence was dour, he looked sad and when his eyes were just so, he looked scared to death. We suspect that he was abused at one time because he was always skittish. But you know what, that's what Marie saw at the shelter. She saw a cat that needed a home. Now, isn't that Christ-like, loving those who need love most of all.

She saw a cat that needed love, even if all he would do is cower under the bed or in the corner. She knew that she could give him the love he needed to be a cat again. And he was a cat again.

Yesterday we had to put him down. He was just too sick and there was nothing we could do to make his life better. Marie cried, and God love him, I did too. We miss you Merlin, but where you are now, there is no fear, there is no pain, and there is joy.

Thanks for being our cat.

The Past and the Future and My Impressions of Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary

In the most recent issue of the Presbyterian Outlook magazine (Vol. 192, No. 19, September 20, 2010), the news from Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary (APTS) goes like this:

Austin Seminary continues to see a trend toward younger students with a demonstrated commitment to service. The median age in the last two entering classes was 28.

and so on.

Austin Seminary did not herald the building of its new residence facility, as it usually does, in this issue of The Outlook. Anderson House is a new multi family facility built with Green Energy partnership codes from AustinEnergy.

On the facade of the building is a quote from the Rev. John Anderson, major donor and building namesake:

"Send us preachers who are not boring."

Of course, it's in Latin because that way nobody will know what it means. It's an inside joke.

Now for my rant: When Marie and I got to Austin, the average age of students was in the mid-30's. That was fine with us because we were in our late-30's. When we got to APTS, we were as welcomed as seminary could make us.

Is it easy to get welcomed in seminary? I always said that seminary was the best and worst of the church with the best and the worst of higher education, and as an ordained Elder in the church who worked at a major university, I felt I could speak from experience in both realms. I feel my assessment is not good or bad, but I feel it's accurate.

Today, with the push toward youth, I do not know if Marie and I would be welcomed at APTS like we were ten years ago. We weren't young. We didn't have two kids and one more on the way. We weren't then and still aren't the hip "Keep Austin Weird" folks the area is so proud of fostering.

I think it's wonderful, but I don't give a rip about a green building after living in the 650 square feet they accorded us upon arrival. Finally, my first call was to a church that could barely support a pastor, not one that supports a pastor that can support the seminary. (That's what we all get for going where I was called.)

Looking at this blurb from The Outlook, I only believe my assessment of our newly minted outsider status is firm.

Honestly, when I was a student at APTS, the push was toward worship and preaching the Word of God with integrity and grace. In my opinion, a call to be "not boring" is pretty shallow.

Jim Jones wasn't boring, but I'm not selling or drinking that Kool-Aid. Joel Osteen sells out the Compaq Center and sells a billion books, but I'm taught to go for something deeper sharing the fullness of God's grace on God's people.

I guess I'm sad. I guess I'm disappointed. But I guess Thomas Wolfe is right, you can't go home again.

The Neanderthal Football League

Ines Sainz is a sports reporter for Azteca TV, a Mexican television network with several affiliates in the US, including Austin, Texas where I would occasionally watch. This weekend she was the center of controversy because she was the subject of catcalls and other unwanted behavior in the New York Jets locker room.

Some have said that Ms. Sainz dresses provocatively. I would be one of the first to agree. She's a former Miss Spain and Miss Universe contestant who dresses like someone who knows how to accent what she hopes to accent. And if you have ever seen Azteca TV you would know that this is the style of the network. In fact I have never seen a Mexican or Hispanic TV broadcast that did not include an overabundance of cleavage, and that includes the news! She was dressed in her normal workplace attire, just like the men were in the locker room after the game.

The sideline shenanigans are another story.

This has caused a new storm of sexual harassment in the workplace/NFL Locker room talk. Let's begin here: Nobody deserves to receive cat calls or leering glares or sneering remarks about their appearance in the workplace. Nobody deserves that, regardless of whether they are a woman who dresses to accent her appearance (which Ms. Sainz does) or naked in the locker room (which the players in varying stages are).

But I want to make one thing clear too. Professional athletics in America are the last bastion of the great adolescent male. The great majority of these guys have been made to feel special, they have been catered to all their lives. They have gifts that are the product of testosterone and the training that only fuels primary urges and hormonal drives.

Can they help it? Of course they can. Are they expected to? Often no.

Folks, the genie is in and out of the bottle. They are expected to act like Neanderthals one moment and gentlemen the next. I'm not saying to cut them slack when they cross the line, just don't be shocked when they do.

In America...

This weekend, Marie and I were in Texas to do some work with our move to Marshall. We had some business with the Presbytery, we had some business with the Realtor, and (best of all) we had dinner with the congregation in Marshall. It was a delightful weekend with people who are very important to us.

On Friday night after the Presbytery meeting we met up with Rick and Teri Brooks. Rick is the pastor of St. Mark Presbyterian in West Dallas and Teri works at UT Dallas. Well, on Saturday, we went to lunch with Rick and Teri and Rick's folks Dick and Dot, while there, we ran into this guy:

If you know the story or watched the video, you would know Igor got his own 7-Eleven franchise. His store is in Richardson, Texas, right next door to where we ate lunch on Saturday afternoon. When we got there, he was running around all over the store making sure everything was as neat as a pin. He was cleaning glass and he even held the door for us greeting us as we came though his door.

Let me tell you, his store was the cleanest convenience store on the face of the earth, having worked at a gas station and a convenience store, I know how hard it is to keep clean and his store was clean enough to eat off the floors.

Igor, my wife Marie and I give you our best (and about eight bucks) and I hope you have a wonderful life. You're living the American dream. You come from Kazakhstan with $50 in your pocket, a driving work ethic, and a dream. Congratulations on your dream coming true.

I say "coming" because Igor knows his dream has just begun, he also knows about the hard work it takes to keep it going. If he didn't, he wouldn't be cleaning glass on a Saturday afternoon in the sun and heat of North Dallas. God bless.

Adventures in Moving

That was once UHaul's slogan, "Adventures in Moving." Frankly, Marie and I have had more than one of their lovely adventures since we met. The "best" was having a water pump blow in the middle of Illinois on the first day of deer season. Getting help was as hard as getting a twelve-point buck.

So, Marie and I are getting ready to move. We're moving to Marshall, Texas as soon as Grace Presbytery, real estate hurdles, and UHaul can get us there. And we couldn't be happier. We also couldn't be more amazed.

Please prepare to nod your head as you read: You wouldn't believe all of the crap we've found! It has been a sheer multitude of stuff we didn't know we had, didn't know where it had gone, and wondered how we ever lived with it in the first place.

Honestly, it is our fault. We haven't had a real honest pitch-fest since we moved to Fayetteville, Arkansas about twelve years ago. At least it has been a windfall to some of the absolutely fabulous charities here in Berryville. As such, it has also been a windfall for the landfill, but after twelve years or so, a trip or two to the dump is not out of line.

So things are rolling here, we are blessed and happy, we are glad to be on our way to Marshall and God's people at First Presbyterian in Marshall. All we need now is a dolly and some Advil, but that's just another part of the "Adventure in Moving."

Working Yourself Out of Business

The First Presbyterian Church in Berryville is one of the four founding churches of the Loaves and Fishes Food Bank of the Ozarks in Berryville. The food bank distributes not only donated food, but also government commodities. They also provide a space for the Salvation Army and the State or Arkansas Office of Local Concerns. These folks provide money and services to help people over the bumps of life.

They offer classes to help people become self sufficient. They offer advice on budgets, job search, and resume writing just to name a few. They offer help with interview skills and other help for people to find jobs and better jobs. Loaves and Fishes is also the distribution point for First Presbyterian's school supply project which this year packed over $8,000.00 worth school supplies for 436 school kids grades K-8. Truly it has been my pleasure being associated with the food bank as Pastor of the Presbyterian Church.

And for the past six months as a client. In February, when we took a pay cut, we became eligible for their services.

Earlier this month, I have been called to serve the First Presbyterian Church in Marshall, Texas. With this change, We will be moving from the area and moving from needing the wonderfully gracious and generous services the food bank provides.

Today, a wonderful lady from one of the local churches who has heard of my new call came into the office and congratulated me. Then with joy in her voice she said, "So we won't see you anymore." After about a minute she said, "That came out all wrong."

I understand and I told her so. She is happy that I have received a new call. She is happy that I will not need the services she provides anymore. She is happy that prayers have been answered. I told her I knew what she meant and in the same vein we are joyful too.

This would be the greatest joy of all, that the good folks of Loaves and Fishes help people with enough food and services that they are able to find the work they need so that they no longer need the commodities. It would be the greatest joy of all that the good folks of Loaves and Fishes help people with enough job finding skills that they can move into doing more about job enhancement skills.

May they be blessed and may the people of Carroll County be so blessed that Loaves and Fishes works itself out of business, or at least into a new business. In a sin soaked world, that may not be possible, but wouldn't it be nice. Thanks to Loaves and Fishes and praise be to God.