The Ellen show last week featured a consumer reporter with "cheap fixes." One of them was a spray bottle filled with vodka to kill mildew. It is very useful to help freshen up clothes that have been in storage all summer waiting for the first chill of autumn.
So today, I went to one of my two local liquor stores and purchased a bottle of cheap, cheap cheap vodka, distilled with pride in the Russian province of Kentucky.
As I went to pay the $1.90 for 200ml of Aristocrat Royal Vodka I told the woman ringing me up about Ellen's money saving mildew killer.
Why do we do that? Why do we explain purchases to the people ringing them up? You know the biggest lie told in the mini-mart is "I buy it for the articles." (Hey, I imagine that's just as true for National Geographic as it is for the SI Swimsuit issue!)
Well, I answered that question for her and myself saying, "I don't know why I told you this...maybe it's just because if I was going to get a tiny bottle of vodka...I'd pick something a little less rotgut."
Yeah, that's right, take pride in your work!
The beauty of being a "civilian" is that you can buy cheap vodka and drink it while reviewing SI's Swimsuit edition without explanation. You're just as God mad you, a total male pig.
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