An Open Letter to Berryville Football Coach Bobby Bishop

Dear Coach Bishop,

Bobby, we've met a couple of times, through Rotary and stuff like that. I have not been following the public school/private school dichotomy closely, but this much I think we all know. Because of a dozen factors, the Shiloh Christian Saints stand head and shoulders above nearly every football team in the state. As the old expression goes, often the second best team on any field that features the Saints is on their bench. Add into this a "win big at all costs, no quarter asked, no quarter given" attitude of their coaching staff, and disaster is in the mix.

I don't have to remind you that the Berryville quarterback was injured last year in a game against Shiloh Christian. I add this sentence for the folks who don't know. I don't know, but this young man may have lost out on the best way to pay for his college education because some other kid is out to make a name by getting hits.

So Bobby, here's my suggestion: Forfeit next year's game.

Candy-assed you say? Well, it probably is, but there are advantages to this course of action.

1. No injuries. To me, this is the biggest positive for the program right here.
2. Next year's game is in Springdale, it will save a bundle of money on travel expenses for the school district and
3. It will take gate revenue (more of an insult than economic impact) from the Shiloh Christian Athletic Department.
4. No running up the score (This assumes that the score of a forfeited game is 2-0. This is a traditional rule, but I don't know about the Arkansas Activity Association rules)
5. There will be no running up a kid's all ready inflated statistics.

I'm not talking about some namby-pamby self-esteem issue here. I'm not saying the Bobcats will feel bad about themselves because of these bullies. I am saying there is nothing good about supporting a system that encourages such flagrantly poor sportsmanship and values hurting others.

The sportsmanship of the Saint's football program is in question after their last game in Berryville. So I say take the team out for an early season banquet and to the Saints, be gone. Play some competition that is competition. Candy-assed? Sure, it probably is. But how much worse is it to support a program that encourages the destruction of other people's kids.

Oh, again, the views expressed here are strictly my own. As if that wasn't obvious.

Paul Andresen, Sports Fan and Fan of Sportsmanship

How Many Angels Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?

Four.

Have you seen the size of the feet on these guys? Dang!

Blogging off of the top of my head

Dear Readers,
This is an open letter responding to an email I received and a news story posted in The Carroll County News and on ky3.com. The long and the short of it, as I noted in an earlier blog post, Berryville Mayor Tim McKinney enjoys a good drink and a little toke of the ganja and was found with both behind he wheel of his truck twice inside of twelve months.

Let's start here: Bad, very bad behavior. Impaired driving--whether you're drinking, toking, texting, doing a crossword puzzle, or whatever impairs your behavior behind the wheel--is very bad behavior and in some instances criminal. These behaviors have cause death and destruction in many lives and horror in every American community. Families have been ripped apart. People walk wounded both physically and emotionally and psychologically. Choosing to drive without focusing your full and undivided attention to the task at hand is dangerous and irresponsible.

If it is time to ask if I have ever driven while impaired, let me remind you I used to manage a bar. Yes, I have. When I was in my teens, drinking and driving was a hobby, not a felony. Thank God I have personally and as a society most of us have gotten over that.

What's the difference between the mayor and me? I haven't driven while impaired by alcohol in about fifteen years or so. By other impediments, twenty-five plus. When you consider the mayor is nine years older than I am, the difference between us is twenty-five to thirty-five years.

I have learned a lesson that Mayor McKinney might have learned finally on March 18, 2009 in Johnson, Arkansas. I hope he did.

I have come not to praise Mayor McKinney--nor have I come to bury him. He has made his mistakes and he will continue to pay for them. One of the prices he pays is thirty-nine days in county. Another which may be more embarrassing is one of wagging tongues and blogging hands, my hands included.

Yesterday, I got an email from an acquaintance about the Carroll County News article and his fury over the paper's response. The email I got was originally addressed to his pastor, but he sent it to me too with the salutation: CC for your information........act accordingly.

He writes (yes, the contents of the letter were written in a bold italic font):
What about character, responsibility, accountability, fairness, the example an elected leader is displaying to the youth of the community? Not one single Pastor has opened his pie hole.....to condemn this type activities.........silence signifies acceptance of this type conduct.......no wonder less than 10% of our people attend church.......the McKinneys are winning them over to the drugs, alcohol, gambling, loaded weapons, etc. type activity!!!!

He continues:
[My wife] talked today about writing an editorial about McKinney. She read the newpaper and couldn't believe that right in the middle of the story about his arrests Anna Matthews talked about all of his accomplishments for the city. [My wife] said that his accomplishments are outweighed by the negative example and influence that he is having on our students. She said that it is a shame that the person whose picture is on the wall of one of the new buildings also has his picture in the paper for drug and alcohol abuse. Her quote, "What message are we sending?" I told her that she shouldn't write an editorial because there would be repercussions toward her. Resentment and Retalitation run strong in Carroll County in general and Berryville in Particular.

From here, he complains about things that are wrong (his opinion that I imagine is shared by many others) with the Berryville School District. Among the things he talks about is an emphasis on athletics which he believes to be excessive and a salary structure that does not reward the work of support staff.

I have several problems with this message:
First--Why send this to me? He sent this letter to his pastor writing at the end "Think of you a lot.....come by sometime or call me.....I still think you are my pastor, am I wrong?" Private correspondence looses something when it becomes widely distributed.

Second issue--Even in indignation, if your argument is with education and the education system, using the phrases "in a academic distress state" and "money is throwed" hardly benefits your point.

Third--Straw man issues and slippery slope arguments do nothing to help this either. Yes, drugs, alcohol, gambling, and loaded weapons are all community issues, but to blame them on one man is neither valid nor helpful.

Finally--I appreciate you inviting your pastor (and me after sending me a copy of this letter) to get into the fray so that you and your wife can be safe and secure in your cocoon. It's nice for you to warn us that "Resentment and Retalitation run strong in Carroll County in general and Berryville in Particular" and then run to the shadows of your email allowing your pastor to take the brunt of a community's "resentment and retaliation."

Jesus called us to be his disciples in the world. The great commission teaches us to "go and make disciples." He knew it would be dangerous, shoot, he was crucified and risen before he gave the great commission. But know this, Jesus never said, "Here's what I want you to do, it's going to be dangerous, still I want you to get out and do it. In the meantime I will be here staying here at home with the wife. I will check up on you though and if you don't make enough noise I will zip off another email. Remember--I pay you to do the heavy lifting now get out there and do it."

The message tells me to ........act accordingly. Now gentle reader, I invite you to judge whether I am acting accordingly. That's what the "comment box" is for.

May the peace of God be with us all,
Paul

I'm Just Asking...

So when did Michael Jackson begin looking like Guy Fawkes?

This image of Michael is taken from The Huffington Post.

This image of a Guy Fawkes Mask is from the cover of the comic novel "V for Vendetta" by Alan Moore and David Lloyd and was taken from Wikipedia.

Still, I'm just asking...

Rest in peace, Michael.

I'm Just Sayin...

...when we learn to love as Jesus loved then we will be able to forget who we are supposed to hate.

John and Kate Plus Manny Ramirez

Here's the J&K update: Evidently they have been separated for two years. It's not that either one was cheating on the other, they were cheating on the viewing public. This is particularly true of the Season 4 finale where they renewed their vows in Hawaii.

By this time, they were separated for one year and I would guess had no intention of reconciling. They were separated, but the vow thing in Hawaii made great TV--and that was the intent--great TV.

Shame on J&K for perpetrating this fraud. Shame on the advertisers for supporting this misrepresentation. Shame on TLC for being a willing accomplices for ratings and cash. Shame on everyone who watched it. Shame on me for milking this thing for my own purposes, whatever they are.

Where does Manny fit into this? Forty six days ago, Manny was suspended for violating Baseball's ban on "performance enhancing drugs" for the standard first violation length of 50 games. Last night ManRam returned to the minor leagues for a "rehab stint." This is allowed by Major League Baseball, by working with and playing for the Albuquerque Isotopes Manny violated no rules.

BUT here's the rub, by the time he gets back with the Dodgers the hope is he will be able to pick up where he left off, and the 'Topes will pick up some decent scratch from having Manny in the line up, even if it is for just three games. Nice suspension baseball. Keep him away...until it can make somebody extra cash.

That's the deal with John and Kate Plus Manny Ramirez, it's all about the money.

Voyeur Nation

This post is subtitled "John and Kate Separate."

A nation of voyeurs, maybe that's what we have been since the 1950's or since the first cavemen gossiped over the campfire, but that's what we are--a nation of voyeurs. The most popular "oh my God, have you heard" is the continuing saga of John and Kate. Nobody wants my take, so here it is.

Without TV, their lives would have been very different. There's a belief that you change the outcome of an event by measuring it, I wish I could remember the source on that one. In the realm of human relationships, I think this is an example of truth in that statement. Their life together changed dramatically because it was recorded and then dissected like a frog by a bored 9th grade biology student.

J&K, I hope y'all find happiness and I hope you put away a chunk of change for the kids' therapy bills.

Feeling Uneasy in my Mid-40's

All right, I didn't see this until the CMT Music Awards youtube feed on some cable news website last week. This upload is five months old, so this is nothing new to those of you who watch CMT's Crossroads program. But this is my first look, so let me rant and reminisce.

I remember when "Pour Some Sugar on Me" came out 20-some years ago. The stories of Def Leppard's debauchery were legendary. These guys put on a show on the stage and under the stage there was an entirely different version of the show...if you know what I mean.

So now, 20 years later, a girl who could have been conceived to this tune sings it on stage with the band. According to the article I read, her parents were DL fans and she was born in December 1989, so my conception suspicion may not be so far fetched.

The devil and angel on my shoulders are screaming, "Oh what these boys would have done to a tiny 19-year old in a mini dress and boots back in the day" countered with the grain that screams "Oh my God, I could have a daughter her age now, I would never let my little girl come to a Def Leppard show, and she's on stage with them."

I think every 18 year old boy knows half of what I mean and every 40 year old man knows exactly what I mean.

Damn, I'm just getting older and I'm not that old. Again I say, we mock what we are to become.

More Odd Stuff

True Story: When you pull into the Pinnacle Station gas and food store, the sign on the door says "Jesse Fox--Executive Chef." Yes, in Arkansas we have a gas station with an executive chef. There's something about getting a tank of gas, exotic cheese, pastry, and wine at the same place that I can't wrap my head around.

Next!

That's Odd

I was at my local Wal-Mart this evening. Yes, this is the second week in a row that I've been at Wally-World on a Saturday night, but that's not what's odd.

I did find it odd that the deodorant was in the "Oral Care" aisle though.

Real Time and Reel Life

Reality Television, or a reasonable facsimile there of, is a TV staple, but of course it is not real. These days, with a 24-hour news cycle, it isn't even timely. These days, "reel life" is unable to keep up with "real time." (I didn't come up with the expressions "reel time" and "reel life." I wish I had. Well, that isn't going to stop me from using them.) Examples:

• John and Kate Plus Eight--this season we have seen the clan with Emeril and with the Teutul's. There is cooking and motorcycles. Pretty good episodes with guest stars, but hardly real life for anybody. Entertainment News tells us about their alleged infidelities, spankings, and a million other things that real couples deal with everyday. The difference is that the Orange County Choppers episode was probably shot a good six months ago, and is old and stale. What's on the "news" is what viewers want to see and what may make a "special."
• Real Housewives of New Jersey--One episode deals with of the women and infertility issues. Marie and I went through this, so we have a grain of interest in this "story line." The show leaves it unresolved, in real life, she just delivered their baby. So the infertility story is a year old and resolved with a wonderful baby. The story in real time eclipsed the story in "reel time."
• The World Series of Poker--This is an annual Vegas Poker event that has mushroomed over the past 20 years or so from a single invitational tournament to a multi-national event. The good news and the bad news is that live poker is bad TV. There is drama and emotion, but without severe editing, it is horrible. So the tournament requires weeks of post production so that the hour episodes can be created. The problem with this is that the winner of the main event is known months before the show can be seen on the tube. Last year this "problem" was "solved" by delaying the game between the last ten players until months after the finalists were set; allowing "reel time" to catch up with "real time."

Friends, we have almost achieved "The Truman Show." This movie was about a man whose life was always televised for a nation's viewing enjoyment. The only difference is that it is our "news" channels and shows that bring "reel time" into "real time."

Somewhere, a journalist sheds a quiet tear.

Love, Hate, Forgiveness, Time, and Time Again

I read this from HomileticOnline.com today and it got me thinking:

Terry Anderson, a hostage for almost seven years in Lebanon, said this about forgiveness: Forgiveness isn't something that you just do and get over with -- it's a process ... What does it mean to forgive? Does it mean that I accept what they did to me? No. Does it mean I have to love them? That's what Christ said, but I'm not ready for that.

It does mean not hanging on to the anger. I'm not going to spoil the joy [of being free] by being angry. I can't hurt them by my anger -- I can only hurt myself.

--Anthony Cardinale, Anderson Tells of Struggle to Forgive Captors, The Buffalo News, 14 May 1993, C-5, as referenced by Stan Gockel, Tonawanda, New York.

This reminded me of something. About 15 years ago, two very good friends were getting divorced. They are wonderful people, and their marriage was over, and one the partners was upset with me because I didn't pick sides. Another friend described it to me like this: By not picking sides, I picked against one.

If that doesn't sound quite rational, I think that's the point too.

I have been thinking about this: It is easier to remember to love everyone than it is to try to remember who I am supposed to hate. Is this what Christ meant? Maybe so, it is certainly a practical off-shoot of his teaching. Is it easy to follow. Heavens no, this is a part of what Terry Anderson was getting at.

Scripture reminds us that anybody can love their friends, we need the love of God so that we can love our enemies. Boy, talk about a lesson that takes a lifetime to learn.

Marketing, that's right, Marketing

SI on Campus.com recently reported the "Top 10 most bizarre college memorabilia" on the list and on the shelf at our Dollar General Store you will find this little item, as described by author Darcie Baum:

10. University of Arkansas: Razorbacks gum
The Razorbacks gum is actually a good idea. No one wants to have stale beer breath at the post-game party. And what better way to freshen up and show school spirit than with your team's own chew? Save those carbs for the Beast Ice, because this gum is sugarfree!

Woo! Pig! Chewy! Razorback Gum!

Not quite right...

Yesterday I noticed something not quite right on the driver's side arm rest in our Nissan Xterra. The mirror adjusting switch not only is marked L and R, but it is also in braille. Yes, braille.

The obvious question is why does it need to be in braille? Are the blind going to be driving the Nissan Xterra? Are we going to reenact Al Pacino's driving scene from "Scent of a Woman?"

The more subtle question is this, even if reenacting Al Pacino's driving scene from "Scent of a Woman," how often do the blind check the mirrors?

Ironic Iconic

Today I had a fortune cookie with my breakfast (really, I did). It read: "It is a sunny day."

Well, let me tell you, there is a 50% chance of thunderstorms at my house. There is a good chance that some of those storms will have hail. I have all ready heard thunder. There's a storm cell bearing down on us from Oklahoma. The temp is 72 and 66 is the dew point. In short, the meteorologist would not call this a sunny day.

Still, I am reminded of the old Steeley Dan lyric, "When the demon is at your door, In the morning he won't be there no more, Any major dude will tell you, Any major dude will tell you."

Always darkest before the dawn. There's thunder on the horizon and it is a sunny day. I guess it's all in what you're looking at and looking for. Or maybe what you're looking at. There is good to be had. Somewhere, it is a sunny day. That is where hope lies.

The Wilkinson Sword--Ick!

The US version of this ad is not quite so flagrant in its visuals. When I saw the US version the first time, it began to dawn on me that the way the bushes are trimmed are way that... well, you know.

The difference between the UK and US versions is the "topiary in progress."

But if you want to see something truly different, check out the expanded version of this ad:



"Tulips on the mound." Yeah... I guess.

Remembering Hockey--Working the Man Trough

In the early 90's, for little good reason at all, I spent a weekend in San Diego. Friday night, I went to the San Diego Sports Arena to catch playoff action between the San Diego Gulls and the Fort Wayne Comets of the American Hockey League. It was a good game, but the hometown Gulls went down to defeat in the end.

The worst part of the evening were the young fans sitting behind me cursing and yelling at the players. Near the end of the evening, I went to the bathroom and they had a long trough, the man trough. (Not nearly enough time to cover the etiquette of the man trough, but that is post-worthy.) I was settling into my place, and the kids from behind me stormed into the bathroom.

They were still yelling and cursing. Finally, their diatribe went to this: "F___ Fort Wayne, F___ Texas." After they left, we were all staring at the wall (again, the etiquette) and wondering what that was all about.

Then, some guy asked, "Do you think they meant Fort Worth?"

Yes, there was laughter at the man trough.

Two by Two

David Carradine and Koko Taylor have died. I loved her music, she had a joie de vie that was out of this world. Carradine was a controversial choice for Kung Fu (gee, an anglo playing a Chinese man, who would complain about that in the 70's?), and he was great in Kill Bill.

Koko died coming out of surgery. Carradine was hanging. (I use the imperfect for him because again, there is controversy.)

I remember when he died I hoped he did not die like Michael Hutchence, the lead singer for INXS who was playing a game of coupe de corde when he died. When I heard she died after surgery I hoped it wasn't weight reduction.

God bless you both.

Costly Humor

Flipping channels, I lighted on "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here" for just a moment. The challenge: Eating nasty stuff. In a Venus vs. Mars style challenge, Torri Wilson and one of the Baldwin Brothers (really, I can't tell them apart) were eating three small squares of raw tripe. Not only did they have to eat it, tripe was described to them in no uncertain terms before they popped it in their mouths.

Torri Wilson said, "I just wish they would stop describing it to me, I just tried to pretend it was some kind of delicatessen."

She meant "delicacy" and misspoke. Whoops. Yes, I laughed, but I'm not so proud of that.

Why does Fox have to show us the opening rounds of American Idol? When the judges see someone we who watch on TV know one thing--the singer is either going to be great or they are going to be a disaster.

But you know what, these people come in to audition with high hopes and everyone is either confident or deluded enough to think they have a shot. We swoon over the confident and laugh at the deluded--at their expense.

The worst part is that everyone who is called in to the panel of judges thinks they are the best--they think they have a shot and are excited to show off. But for our amusement their dreams are shot down.

Can't we make TV a no-fly zone? American Idol, So You Think You've Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance, all of you talent shows; please, let's quit setting people up to get crushed for my entertainment.

One other note: This doesn't apply to "America's Funniest Home Videos" because these folks send in the videos themselves. They're willing to put their pain and embarrassment on TV for a shot at up to $100,000.00. When you do this to yourself, I think you give me permission to laugh.